Blog Tour Morsels, Part Two: Equipping Counselors for Your Church

I’m very grateful for the many bloggers who have reviewed Equipping Counselors for Your Church.

I’ve collated links to a dozen of the reviews and interviews. They’ll be running throughout this first week of 2012 with brief “snippets” from each review and a link back to the full review.

In Part One, I posted samplers from David Murray, Brad Hambrick, and Thabiti Anyabwile.

Today you can enjoy review “morsels” from Jonathan Holmes, Paul Tautges, and Andy Naselli.

Jonathan Holmes 

“In this seminal and landmark work for the church, Equipping Counselors for Your Church, Dr. Bob Kellemen has given us a go-to manual for raising up a new generation of counselors while nurturing the ones currently in our care. Built and crafted from years of experience and based on the solid foundation of God’s Word to us, this book will be a vital, practical, useful manual for generations to come.”

Paul Tautges, Post One 

“Equipping Counselors for Your Church is like having a personal conversation with a private consultant who is committed to coming alongside church leaders—walking step-by-step and hand-in-hand—to equip us to empower the Body of Christ toward biblical, one-another ministry that progressively moves believers toward Christlikeness. I highly recommend it!”

Paul Tautges, Post Two

“Today, I draw your attention to one of the best pages in the book, which calls us to the mutual ministry of comfort. Bob effectively argues for balance in two areas of biblical counseling: confrontation and comfort. Both, he rightly affirms, are Scriptural priorities we must grow in as we counsel one another. Here’s a lengthy quote that received a smiley face and a ‘Yes!’ in the margin of my copy. In the context of this quote the author has just finished explaining the importance of noutheteo, warning, and now urges for the equally-important ministry of parakaleo, coming alongside in mutual ministry to comfort and strengthen one another.”

Andy Naselli 

“Endorsed by Paul Tripp, Elyse Fitzpatrick, Ed Welch, and several others, Kellemen’s 4E’s teach: 1.) Envisioning God’s Ministry, 2.) Enlisting God’s Ministers for Ministry. 3.) Equipping Godly Ministers for Ministry, and 4.) Empowering/Employing Godly Ministers for Ministry.”

The Rest of the Story

Tomorrow you can read some “samplers” from Mark Tubbs at The Discerning Reader, Phil Monroe, and Mark Kelly.

Join the Conversation

What resources do you recommend for equipping one-another ministers in the local church?

Note: If you are a blogger and would like to review Equipping Counselors for Your Church, email rpm dot ministries @ gmail dot com

RPM Ministries: Equipping You to Change Lives with Christ’s Changeless Truth

Tags: Biblical Counseling, Blog Tour, Book Review, Equipping, Equipping Counselors for Your Church, One Another Ministry

Blog Tour Morsels, Part One: Equipping Counselors for Your Church

I’m very grateful for the many bloggers who have reviewed Equipping Counselors for Your Church.  

I’ve collated links to a dozen of the reviews and interviews. They’ll be running throughout this first week of 2012 with brief “snippets” from each review and a link back to the full review.

Today you can enjoy review “morsels” from David Murray, Brad Hambrick, and Thabiti Anyabwile.

David Murray, Top Five Books of 2011 

“Bob Kellemen shifted my thinking with this visionary yet practical book. I probably don’t reach up to Bob’s optimism about this task (who could!), but he certainly made me hope and work towards a much greater role for every-member counseling ministry in the local church.”

David Murray, Part One 

“Bob Kellemen is one of the reasons I love America. In fact, to me he is a classic American – enthusiastic, energetic, positive, cheerful, encouraging, stimulating, pioneering, and every other good “-ing” you can think of…. I deeply appreciate Bob’s brief, clear, and no-nonsense style of writing. He doesn’t waste words in pointless theorizing, but is always aiming at the practical and the helpful. It’s not often you find such fine balance and fervent passion combined in one person!”

David Murray, Part Two 

“Bob does not just dream big, he details small. He gets into the detailed practical steps that have to be taken. We’re not left with, “Great idea but how do we do it?” The book is full of bullet points, step-by-step guides, tabulated information, checklists, appendices and real-life case studies. And that practicality is maybe what gives the book so much credibility and persuasiveness. Bob not only draws from almost 30 years of counseling experiences in congregational settings, but has gathered together a ton of “best-practice” ideas from other pastors and churches as well.”

David Murray, Part Three 

“Bob’s exposition of this verse (Romans 15:14) was perhaps my favorite section in his book, and powerfully persuaded me of the biblical grounds and realistic possibility of what he was advocating. This verse is a huge encouragement and challenge to the church of Christ.”

David Murray, Part Four 

“As Bob says, ‘Everyone is a counselor. The question is really whether it’s good or bad counsel.’”

“Yes, it’s a change from thinking ‘I need to call the pastor…’ to ‘I need to call Joe or Mary, etc,’ but it’s a blessed change.”

Brad Hambrick 

Equipping Counselors for Your Church meets a real need in Biblical Counseling – helping churches cultivate a counseling ministry that is tailored to the needs of their particular congregation and community. Over the last several decades Biblical Counseling has produced a large number of excellent resources, but it has not always been clear what a church was supposed to do with those resources. If you want to begin to explore that possibility with your church, I cannot think of a better book to guide you in that process.”

Thabiti Anyabwile 

“Counseling might be the area of pastoral ministry that most quickly produces feelings of inadequacy for pastors. The pitfalls are man. Needs are varied and often complex. The tendency toward self-reliance gets amplified when people come to you in need of answers. Yet, the resources can be few or too difficult to digest in short order. Even pastors who love counseling find themselves emotionally and spiritually drained and in need of help. Bob Kellemen has come along with a very welcome and promising resource, Equipping Counselors for Your Church.”

The Rest of the Story

Tomorrow you can read some “samplers” from Jonathan Holmes, Paul Tautges, and Andy Naselli.

Join the Conversation

What resources do you recommend for equipping one-another ministers in the local church?

Note: If you are a blogger and would like to review Equipping Counselors for Your Church, email rpm dot ministries @ gmail dot com

RPM Ministries: Equipping You to Change Lives with Christ’s Changeless Truth

Tags: Biblical Counseling, Blog Tour, Book Reviews, Equipping, Equipping Counselors for Your Church

Brad Hambrick Reviews Equipping Counselors for Your Church

Do you want to see your church develop a biblical counseling ministry, but don’t know where to begin? Do you feel like you don’t know what questions you would need to ask or who would need to be in the room as you seek to answer them? Are you worried about the logistics and liabilities that would arise as you sought to launch this kind of ministry initiative?

A Book You Need to Read

If you answered yes to any of these questions, then Dr. Kellemen has put together a book you need to read. Not only does he draw upon his own years of experience as a pastor (both associate of counseling and senior pastor) and as a professor teaching counseling in seminary, he draws upon the best practices from two dozen counselors who have led counseling ministries in the local church or parachurch setting.

Throughout Equipping Counselors for Your Church these two dozen counselors comment about their experience in creating counseling ministries at each stage of the process. In effect, it’s a little like a recovery group meeting. Dr. Kellemen teaches the main lesson which articulates the key aspects of one leg in the journey. Then each counselor gives a testimony about their successes, failures, and key life lessons on that point.

The result is a robust resource that provides detailed guidance without succumbing to a one-size-fits-all counseling model. Rather than giving a step-by-step process to a predetermined outcome, Dr. Kellemen takes you through a question-by-question process to determine what expressions of a counseling ministry would best fit your church and community.

A Small Word, But a Big Distinction

One of the primary emphases of this book is that it advocates for churches to become “a church of biblical counseling” rather than “a church with a biblical counseling ministry.” The difference is significant. A church with a biblical counseling ministry will see its counseling ministry serve exclusively as an “ER” of crisis cases that remained hidden until they were bursting with complexity.

A church of biblical counseling becomes more equipped and prepared to handle such crisis cases, but the counseling ministry interacts with the rest of the church (as a part of the disciple-making process) so that more individuals and families receive care before their struggles become life-dominating. The honesty and transparency of a counseling relationship begins to trickle into the life of the church to a degree that members are “doing life together” in Christian community.

The 4 E’s

If I were reading this review, I would want to know what the 4 E’s were. In keeping with the power-packed, highly-concentrated nature of the book, Dr. Kellemen was able to squeeze five E’s into his four E strategy: (1) Envisioning God’s Ministry, (2) Enlisting God’s Ministers for Ministry, (3) Equipping Godly Ministers for Ministry, and (4) Empowering/Employing Godly Ministers for Ministry.

If you look at those categories and find yourself thinking, “That seems like a process that could be used for any ministry,” then you are beginning to catch the value of this book. Dr. Kellemen is not spending a large amount of time teaching you a foreign process to develop a counseling ministry. If that were the case, you would have to teach your congregation the process and then begin creating the counseling ministry. However, because the book is built around sound, biblical leadership methods, a church that has launched other effective ministries will have no problem utilizing this resource.

What you will find in each E are the key questions and implications that need to be asked for developing a counseling ministry. For the pastor, elder, or other local church leader this should be very comforting. You will find guidance for what you don’t know within the framework with which you are familiar.

A Sample

Counseling can be intimidating. If you are not slightly over-whelmed at the thought of starting a counseling ministry, you may lack the humility necessary to be a good counselor. With that in mind, one of the most effective ways I can conclude this review is to give you a sample from the book on one of counseling’s most intimidating subjects—legal liability.

On his ministry blog, Dr. Kellemen recently posted a six part series on “The Law and Church Counseling.” If you want to know the quality and type of resource you would be getting in Equipping Counselors for Your Church, I would encourage you to preview these posts.

• The Law and Church Counseling: Part One – Caring Carefully

• The Law and Church Counseling: Part Two – The Legal History and Climate

• The Law and Church Counseling: Part Three – Scope of Care

• The Law and Church Counseling: Part Four – Quality of Care

• The Law and Church Counseling: Part Five – Building Safeguards Into Your Ministry

• The Law and Church Counseling: Part Six – Counting the Cost

Other sample resources include:

• The book video trailer as a blog post.

• The book video trailer on YouTube.

• Link to a free sample chapter.

• Link to Equipping Counselors home page with several free resources. 

Meeting a Real Need in Biblical Counseling

This book meets a real need in Biblical Counseling – helping churches cultivate a counseling ministry that is tailored to the needs of their particular congregation and community. Over the last several decades Biblical Counseling has produced a large number of excellent resources, but it has not always been clear what a church was supposed to do with those resources. If you want to begin to explore that possibility with your church, I cannot think of a better book to guide you in that process.

Note: This post originally appeared at Brad Hambrick’s ministry website. You can also read it there at Equipping Counselors for Your Church. 

Brad Hambrick, Th.M., Brad is Pastor of Counseling at The Summit Church (Durham, NC) (www.summitrdu.com). Brad also serves as a Council Board member with the Biblical Counseling Coalition and Chief Editor for The Journal of Counseling & Discipleship with the Association of Biblical Counselors. Brad has been married to his wife Sallie since 1999 and has two wonderful boys.

Tags: Book Review, Discipleship, Equipping, Equipping Counselors for Your Church, Pastoral Ministry

Author Interview Q & A on Equipping Counselors for Your Church

The Biblical Counseling Coalition recently interviewed me about my upcoming book Equipping Counselors for Your Church. Here’s their author interview Q & A.

BCC: “Bob, what’s the big idea behind Equipping Counselors for Your Church? What would you like readers to take away from the book?”

BK: “I had two assumptions as I wrote the book. First, pastors, counselors, and educators are passionate about equipping God’s people for every-member ministry as biblical counselors. Second, they are tired of seeing great effort expended on ‘programs’ that don’t launch, don’t last, or don’t result in leaving a legacy of loving leaders. So am I. That’s why in Equipping Counselors for Your Church I offer a biblical, field-tested, best-practice approach to equipping God’s people for biblical counseling. As a result of reading the book, readers will be able to apply to their unique setting the ‘4E’ ministry training strategy of envisioning God’s ministry, enlisting God’s ministers for ministers, equipping godly ministers, and empowering godly ministers for ministry.”

BCC: “What motivated you to write Equipping Counselors for Your Church?”

BK: “By God’s grace, I’ve had the joy of launching and leading biblical counseling equipping ministries in three very diverse churches. Then, for the past fifteen years I’ve had the privilege of teaching pastors and counselors the ‘4E’ process as a professor at Capital Bible Seminary. Additionally, for the last decade I’ve consulted with scores of churches about the launch process. In each situation, people kept saying, ‘Dr. Kellemen, you need to turn this material into a book. There’s nothing else out there like this that provides a practical map without becoming a one-size-fits-all strait-jacket.’ So, it was really pastors, church leaders, biblical counselors, and students who motivated me to write Equipping Counselors for Your Church.”

BCC: “Is the book only for equipping ‘biblical counselors,’ or is there a larger, broader focus? Who should read Equipping Counselors for Your Church?”

BK: “In my classes and consulting, I’ve had students and church leaders use these ‘4E’ principles to plant churches, to launch small group ministries, to start women’s ministries, to begin para-church organizations, and more. The comprehensive, field-tested, best practice principles fit for anyone who wants to move from any ministry launch to ongoing ministry leadership. While the focus is on ‘biblical counseling,’ the broader emphasis is on equipping for one-another ministry so that every member is not only a minister, but a disciple-maker. Anyone interested in applying the 2 Timothy 2:2 process in their ministry would be the right ‘audience’ for the book.”

BCC: “You note that in one sense you did not write this book alone, but with twenty-four best practice church partners. Tell us about how these two dozen leading churches impacted the book.”

BK: “I’m convinced that no one person can possibly outline a comprehensive approach to church equipping. So, I enlisted twenty-four friends to share their insights—in a multitude of counselors there is great wisdom. Among these two dozen churches are ‘mega-churches’ and ‘average size churches,’ and ‘small churches.’ There are churches that are predominantly Caucasian, African American, Asian American, and multi-cultural churches. I included urban, suburban, and rural churches. In every chapter I weave in their diverse insights that provide readers with a robust, relational GPS. In this way each church can apply the ‘4E’ principles in a way that uniquely fits their specific calling in their particular congregation and community.”

BCC: “You’re not writing out of academic theory, but out of real-life pastoral experience. How has your experience equipping believers in three churches impacted your writing of the book?”

BK: “Mainly I’m seeking to help readers not to make the same mistakes I made! For example, my first church was a ‘mega-church’ of over 3,000 in an urban setting with a long history of extensive equipping ministries. My second church was a smaller rural church with little history of equipping the laity. Initially I made the huge rookie mistake of trying to plop down the ‘mega-church’ model on my second church. I quickly had to backpedal. That’s why in the book I teach ‘relational change management and biblical conflict resolution.’ Big picture—this is not a pie-in-the-sky book. I know personally the struggles and joys, the downs and ups of launching and leading equipping ministries—in three very different churches. I’m trying to share that ‘wisdom’ with my readers.”

BCC: “Big picture: what are the ‘4Es’ and could you briefly summarize what happens if any one of them is neglected?”

BK: “God ‘wired’ my brain with a focus on being comprehensive and ‘both/and.’ I’ve found how important this is when launching and leading biblical counseling ministries. In fact, in my consulting, I’m often asked to help churches to re-launch their ministries because something just didn’t ‘take.’ Once we start interacting, inevitably we discover that at least one of the 4Es was missing or minimized. Those 4Es are: 1.) Envisioning God’s Ministry: Jointly creating mission, vision, passion, and commission (MVP-C) statements that nourish the compassion, conviction, and connection needed to launch flourishing biblical counseling ministries.” 2.) Enlisting God’s Ministers for Ministry: Mobilizing ministers by nurturing a family and building a team prepared for change, skilled in conflict resolution, and connected to the MVP-C Statement. 3.) Equipping Godly Ministers for Ministry: Applying transformational transformational training strategies that comprehensively address the “4Cs” of biblical content, Christ-like character, counseling competence, and Christian community. 4.) Empowering Godly Ministers for Ministry: Overseeing the ongoing ‘organizing of the organism’ by leading ministries that are built to last, that grow from good to great, and that leave a legacy of loving leaders.”

BCC: “Equipping Counselors for Your Church has a built-in discussion-application guide. How do you envision churches using the book?”

BK: “I like to say, ‘This is not your father’s equipping manual!’ Past approaches tend to be too academic (not written from the ‘trenches’ of real-life ministry), too uniformed (not written with the realization that every church and community is unique), and too ‘secular’ (not written from a biblical theology of equipping). Thus, I envision churches using Equipping Counselors for Your Church as a workbook that a ministry leadership team walks through together. Launching and leading ministries is a relational process that God’s people share in a collegial way. The discussion-application guide helps ministry teams to interact in relational, practical ways so that they experience one-another community as they launch a one-another ministry.”

BCC: “Equipping Counselors for Your Church has an extensive Appendix with dozens of practical, user-friendly resources. Introduce our listeners to some of those resources.”

BK: “People who have reviewed and recommended the book have made the proverbial comment more than once, ‘The Appendix is worth the price of the book!’ It is extensive: over 125 pages! It is practical: sample Mission-Vision-Passion-Commission Statements, sample Congregational Analysis Forms, sample Informed Consent Forms, sample Confidentiality Statements, sample Church Discipline Statements, and much more. While I’m convinced that every church must apply biblical equipping principles to their unique setting, I’m also convinced that there’s no reason to ‘reinvent the wheel.’ The extensive Appendix provides ministry leaders with the head start that I wish I had in my three church equipping ministries.”

BCC: “How can people learn more about Equipping Counselors for Your Church?”

BK: “They can visit P&R Publishing. They can order the book at all the typical online sites such as Amazon and CBD. They can download a free sample chapter, read reviews and recommendations, view the video book trailer, download materials from the Appendix (after the book is released in September 2011), and order the book at the RPM Ministries Equipping page.” 

BCC: “Thanks, Bob, for introducing our readers to this comprehensive resource for everyone committed to equipping biblical counselors.”

Tags: Biblical Counseling, Book Review, Equipping Counselors for Your Church, Pastoral Ministry

Putting Your Past in Its Place

Book Details

• Author: Stephen Viars, D.Min.

• Publisher: Harvest House (February 2011) (248 Pages)

• Category: Biblical Counseling, Christian Living

• ISBN: 978-0-7369-2739-0

• Retail Price: $12.99

• Reviewer: Bob Kellemen

Biblical “Balance”

Christians who attempt to address the crucial topic of the past tend toward extremes. At times, we fall into the trap of “the past is everything” mindset. We blame our past and use it as an excuse. At other times, we careen to the opposite extreme of “the past is nothing.” We rip out of context and misapply Paul’s words about forgetting the things which are behind (Philippians 3:1-15).

In Putting Your Past in Its Place, Pastor Steve Viars avoids both extremes. As he notes:

“Both extremes are problematic for students of Scripture. If the past is nothing, then why did God create us with the ability to remember? Why are we instructed, for example, to not let the sun go down on our wrath (Ephesians 4:26) if today isn’t going to effect tomorrow? But the past is everything view is equally troubling. The Scripture does not encourage us to view ourselves as helpless victims whose choices today are outside our ability to understand or change” (p. 18).

Viars then spends a complete chapter developing a “theology of the past.” With that foundation laid, the rest of Putting Your Past in Its Place is a practical theology of what the Bible teaches about how we deal with our past scripturally.

Suffering and Sin

The modern biblical counseling movement at times has emphasized the confrontation of sin, somewhat to the neglect of comfort for suffering. Viars addresses both by helping readers to organize their past into their innocent past (suffering) and their guilty past (sin). He then delineates between whether we handled our past well or poorly.

The rest of the book treks with readers through the four categories of:

• The “Innocent Past” (suffering) when you Responded Well: You were sinned against, but did not sin in return. Respond now with “Authentic Suffering.”

• The “Innocent Past” (suffering) when you Responded Poorly: You were sinned against, but your response displeased God. Respond now with “Humble Analysis.”

• The “Guilty Past” (sin) when you Responded Well: You blew it, but then acknowledged your failure and handled matters appropriately. Respond now with “Joyful Remembrance.”

• The “Guilty Past” (sin) when you Responded Poorly: You sinned and then took additional steps that displeased God further. Respond now with “Honest Self-Confrontation.”

Viars is anything but naïve. So immediately after introducing these four categories, he explains:

“It is okay if your ‘baloney detector’ is going off right about now. I am not suggesting that the Bible teaches these four categories in some sort of absolute and rigid fashion. Rather, these categories help us to clarify what happened and how we responded. That, in turn, helps us to know what biblical principles to apply” (p. 67).

Viars spends three chapters on “authentic suffering” and dealing with our innocent past. He emphasizes biblical principles of facing it honestly, biblically, hopefully, and missionally. He develops “humble analysis” and dealing with our guilty past in two chapters. Here he encourages readers to ponder six diagnostic questions to discern how to respond today to one’s guilty past.

The three chapters on “joyful remembrance” help readers to respond to their guilty past when they handled their sin biblically. Here Viars focuses on what to do when we do not feel forgiven and when we continually rehearse our failures. The two chapters on “honest self-confrontation” teach how to handle our guilty past when we responded unbiblically. Here Viars helps readers to address heart issues and patterns rather than focusing on symptoms, while also directing readers to their only hope—rejoicing in the forgiveness of our Redeemer.

Real-Life Narratives

At first glance, these four categories might imply something of a mechanical approach. Nothing could be further from the truth. Throughout Putting Your Past in Its Place, what shines through is Viars’ decades of experience as a pastor and biblical counselor working with real people with real issues. His creative illustrations, engaging stories, personal examples, weaving in of Jill’s story, real-life testimonials, and questions for personal reflection and group discussion all result in the most reader-friendly counseling book you’ll ever find.

Viars has devoted his life and ministry to helping others change—biblically. Putting Your Past in Its Place is the result of that lifelong ministry. Whether you’re struggling with the process of change related to past suffering or to past sin, this book provides the seasoned, compassionate, pastoral, hope-filled, biblical wisdom you need.

While I highly recommend Putting Your Past in Its Place for the person in the pew, I’m also convinced that it will be a theory-altering, practice-changing book for pastors and biblical counselors. Viars models the sufficiency of Scripture for everyday life like no one I have read. Pastors and counselors can learn from him not only how to help their parishioners and counselees to deal with the past, but even more, how to view and use the Scriptures to develop a theology and methodology for dealing with any life issue.

In an era when our resources seem at times to bounce between theology unrelated to life and self-help manuals not grounded in God’s truth, Putting Your Past in Its Place is a breath of fresh air. The “sufficiency of Scripture” has become something of a buzz word in biblical counseling—used at times without definition or real-life descriptions. By grounding his practical theology in a biblical theology of the past, Viars models a robust, relational, real-world approach to the sufficiency of Scripture. He shows that God’s Word is relevant to all of life, and offers uniquely profound insights for living.

Note: This review first appeared at the Gospel Coalition Book Review site. Read it there at Putting Your Past in Its Place.

Tags: Book Review, Forgiveness, Steve Viars, Suffering

Out of a Far Country: A Gay Son’s Journey to God. A Broken Mother’s Search for Hope 

Book Details

• Authors: Christopher Yuan and Angela Yuan

• Reviewer: Bob Kellemen

• Publisher: WaterBrook (May 2011) (240 Pages)

• Category: Homosexuality

• ISBN: 978-0307729354

• Retail Price: $14.99

A Broken Mother’s Search for Hope

We are all drawn to stories of redemption. For many Christians, Luke 15 and the Parable of the Prodigal Son is one of the most moving narratives in all of Scripture. Out of a Far Country is a true-life parable that reads like a modern rendition of the prodigal son, with the addition of a prodigal mother. Co-authors Christopher Yuan and Angela Yuan share their powerful stories in which they were both lost, both found redemption, and both found their ultimate identity in Christ.

Christopher and Angela Yuan’s mother-son narrative in Out of a Far Country is especially poignant because Christopher’s redemption includes his sexuality. Mother and son share their journey in real and raw language in alternating chapters, each from their own perspective.

Angela begins the narrative by honestly sharing the shame, disgrace, heartache, depression, and confusion she experienced when she learned her son was gay. Angela’s parental pain is something to which any parent of any prodigal facing any sin issue—not only same-sex attraction and sexual identify issues—can relate.

That’s the core message of Out of a Far Country. Where do parents find hope for their parental hurts? Angela’s first option of choice is the option we all choose in the flesh—self-effort. As she puts it, “I would do anything to fix my son” (p. 3).

Unable to fix her son, Angela lost all hope and planned to end her life. Then, in reading a booklet about God’s love for homosexuals, she realized that “God loves even me.” As Angela describes it, “I had not been seeking God, but I was found by him. Suddenly it seemed possible that my visit with Christopher—the visit that I had envisioned as one last goodbye—might actually be the beginning of something new” (p. 19).

Angela vividly portrays her spiritual journey as an identity journey. “I no longer had to be perfect. My Father in heaven loved me anyway. It was all I could do to keep from shouting, ‘I’m a sinner! I’m a sinner! I’m a sinner!’” (p. 32). Angela now shifted her focus from changing her son’s sexual identity to finding her own identity in Christ as a sinner saved by grace.

This is the vital metaphor, the scarlet thread, woven throughout Out of a Far Country. In Christ, our core identity is not our sexual identity, but our spiritual identity either as rebellious prodigals with our backs to God or as redeemed sons and daughters embraced by our forgiving Father.

Changed by Christ, Angela now lived a changed life in which she no longer focused on changing her son, but on being “the extension of God’s love to Christopher” (p. 89). For the parent of any prodigal struggling with any sin issue, Out of a Far Country models parental surrender to God as we release our adult children to God’s good hands and as we attempt to be “Jesus with skin on” for our children.

A Gay Son’s Journey to God

Christopher begins his narrative, which is not for the squeamish, with “Out of the Closet” (chapter two). Having told his parents he was gay and proud, he was kicked out. Now he felt free. Little did he know how bound he was and how bound he would become. Finding acceptance in the gay community, Christopher felt, for the first time, like he had a family. Little did he know how quickly this “family” would desert him and how fervently his heavenly Father was pursuing him—inviting him into His eternal family.

Christopher’s tells his narrative as a journey with many hills and valleys—gay relationships, drug dealing, partying, rejection, arrest, emptiness, HIV. On the one hand, living the high life, on the other hand, experiencing the lowest of lows. As he pictures it:

“Not even my friends wanted me. They wouldn’t even accept a collect call. I was nothing more than a reject, a throwaway. I took a deep breath and let out a sigh as my shoulders slumped and I dropped my head. I was about to turn toward my cell when something on top of the trash caught my eye. I bent over and picked up a Gideon’s New Testament” (p. 129).

Through a dizzying series of horrific events (arrest, incarceration, an AIDS diagnosis), Christopher hit rock bottom and then found himself clinging to the Rock of ages. Meditating on Jeremiah 29:12-14, he saw that “God could restore me and bring me back from captivity…. He wanted to be a part of my life—no matter who I was or what I had done…. With God I had no record; I had no debt to be paid; I had no shameful past” (p. 148).

In his speaking engagements and on his website, Christopher presents the gospel clearly. In Out of a Far Country, the gospel message is there in his life narrative, however, one might wish it had been presented with a little more clarity and detail.

Holy Sexuality

Those expecting a full-blown theological treatise on homosexuality would be disappointed by Out of a Far Country. That is not the purpose of the book. However, in one chapter (chapter thirty), Christopher does distill his understanding of homosexuality. Christopher’s approach is more narrative than didactic.

“I turned to the Bible alone and went through every verse, every chapter, every page of Scripture looking for biblical justification for homosexuality. I couldn’t find any. I was at a turning point, and a decision had to be made. Either abandon God to live as a homosexual—by allowing my feelings and sexual passions to dictate who I was. Or abandon homosexuality—by liberating myself from my feelings—and live as a follower of Jesus Christ. My decision was obvious. I chose God” (p. 186).

Christopher began to ask the identity question that every person struggling with same-sex attraction must ask. “Who am I apart from my sexuality?” He came to the conclusion that:

“…my identity shouldn’t be defined by my sexuality. Paul said in Acts 17:28, ‘For in him we live and move and have our being.’ Christ should be everything—my all in all. My sexual orientation didn’t have to be the core of who I was. My primary identity didn’t have to be defined by my feelings or sexual attractions. My identity was not ‘gay’ or ‘homosexual,’ or even ‘heterosexual,’ for that matter. But my identity as a child of the living God must be in Jesus Christ alone” (p. 187).

Some may take issue with Christopher’s conclusion that “holy sexuality is not focused on orientation change—becoming straight—but on obedience. I realized that obedience means, no matter what my situation, no matter what my feelings—gay or straight—I must obey and be faithful to God” (p. 187).

His view is that we all have sexual temptations that we must deal with until our glorification—some are tempted with heterosexual lusts and others with homosexual lusts.

“Holy sexuality doesn’t mean that I no longer have any sexual feelings or attractions. Nor is it the obliteration of my sexuality either. God created us as sexual beings with the natural desire for intimacy. And everyone is created to desire intimate, God-honoring, nonsexual relationships with the same gender. But because of the effects of original sin, this normal feeling has been distorted. I believe homosexuality (and any other sin, such as jealousy, pride, and gluttony) stems from a legitimate need fulfilled in an illegitimate way” (p. 188).

He further develops his view of holy sexual in two contexts. For the married person, “holy sexuality means focusing all our sexual feelings and behaviors exclusively toward one person, our spouse” (p. 188). He believes that this level of change is possible for the person with same-sex attraction.

Holy sexuality and singleness means that, “single people must devote themselves to complete faithfulness to the Lord through celibacy. This is clearly taught in Scripture, and abstinence is not something unfair or unreasonable for God to ask of his people” (p. 188).

On his web site, especially in the FAQs, Christopher develops his views in more detail on important issues such as sexual identity, same-sex attraction, sexual orientation, can gays change, and is homosexuality a choice. Perhaps a future edition of Out of a Far Country could include his FAQs in an Appendix.

Redeemed and Finally Home

Angela’s final chapter is “Redeemed” and Christopher’s is “Finally Home.” Both are appropriately titled and appropriate conclusions to Out of a Far Country. As Christopher came out and then came home, so the Father calls everyone who is a long way off to come home. Out of a Far Country speaks to prodigals, parents of prodigals, and all people wanting to minister to those struggling with same-sex attraction, pointing all of us to the Redeemer.

Note: This review first appeared at the Gospel Coalition’s book review site. To read the original review please visit Out of a Far Country. 

Tags: AIDS, Angela Yuan, Book Review, Christopher Yuan, Homosexuality, Out of a Far Country, Same-Sex Attraction