At 52 and 22

Today I’m 52. I was wondering recently, “What advice, counsel, and words of wisdom might I share with myself if I could go ‘back to the future’ three decades? What do I know at age 52 about life that I didn’t know at age 22, but wish I had?”

Me at 22

Life Will Be Much Harder Than You Think

This first one may not sound very positive, but it’s true. Jesus said it. “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world” (John 16:33).

At 22, I wasn’t entirely naïve, but close to it. I assumed that if I worked hard, behaved well, and trusted God, that overall good things would flow my way.

Looking back over the past three decades, I would tell my younger self:

“Bob, life will be much harder than you think. It’s important to know that so that you don’t expect ease or everything to go well. Because when those false expectations are dashed, then you could become greatly discouraged. But Bob, remember to take heart—even when things are hard, God is good. Find your peace in Jesus.”

Jesus Will Be Far Gentler Than You Could Ever Imagine

Looking back over three decades, I realize that life is hard but Jesus is gentle. He said so Himself. “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:28-30).

I think at 22 I viewed Jesus somewhat as a hard task-master. I had to live up to His perfect standard to be accepted. Quite the warped view of grace. Quite the self-sufficient, works-oriented view of life.

Travelling back three decades, I would tell my younger self:

“Rest. It’s not about your work, Bob. It’s about the work Jesus has already done on your behalf. He has paid it all. He has reconciled you to the Father. You don’t have to do a thing to be accepted by God—your acceptance is in Christ. Live by grace.”

Defining Yourself by What You Do and How You Feel Will Be More Futile Than You Want to Admit

This third piece of advice goes hand-in-hand with the previous words of wisdom. Far too often I tried to define myself by what I did (my work, my ministry, my parenting, etc.). I defined who I was by what I felt or by what I desired.

Going back to the future, I would share with my younger self:

“Bob, that scaffolding is creaky and crumbling beyond repair. What you think of yourself and what others think of you is really not important. Live by the words Paul lived by. ‘I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court; indeed, I do not even judge myself. My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me’ (1 Corinthians 4:3-4). Your feelings and your desires are not you. Your identity is in Christ.”

Finding Your Identity in Christ Will Be More Thirst-Quenching Than Any False Cistern 

Again, I build upon the previous words of counsel. Instead of building my identity on my feelings or desires, or upon what I think of myself or what others think of me, I could have been building my identity on who I am to Christ and who I am in Christ.

Visiting my younger self I would share:

“Bob, you are not a slave, but a son. Live by the words of Paul. ‘For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father. The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory’ (Romans 4:15-17). Building your life, your identity, on anything but Christ is a broken cistern that can hold no water. Instead, build your life, your identity on God the Spring of Living Water and you will never thirst again (Jeremiah 2, John 4).”

You Don’t Have As Much Figured Out As You Think You Do, But That’s Okay, Rest

I’d likely say the same thing in thirty years at age 82 to my 52-year-old self. I don’t have it all figured out now. But at least at 52, I readily admit how little I know. At 22 I thought I had a clue.

I think I’d say to my younger self:

“It’s all right. You don’t have to have all the answers. Just admit it. You have a ton of living and learning to do. Enjoy the ride. Give yourself a break. You’re not perfect. You never will be. Rest in Christ’s perfection. He is the way, the truth, and the life (John 14:6). Follow His way, pursue His truth, receive His life. Enjoy God. Rest in Christ. Depend upon the Spirit.”

Join the Conversation 

What words of counsel would you share with your younger self?

Tags: Biblical Counseling, Birthday, Identity in Christ

Tangled…Untangled 

Until this weekend, I was likely one of the final few people who had yet to watch Tangled, the Disney movie about Rapunzel. Watching it, I was struck by how it, like so many movies, fables, and fairy tales communicates the message: we are blinded to our real identity.

The Sun Fell from Heaven

Tangle begins with a tiny drop of sun falling from heaven with the power to heal the sick. Change the middle letter of “sun” and we have the Son of God coming down from heaven with the power to heal the sin-sick.

That drop of sun heals the Queen during childbirth. It also endues the newborn child, Rapunzel, with hair that keeps one young forever.

Satan Blinds and Binds

The evil Gothel, the Satan-figure in this story, steals baby Rapunzel at night. For eighteen years she hides Rapunzel deep in the forest in a tower. Gothel continually whispers lies to the child.

“You’re safe with me.” “I love you.” “You are precious to me.” “Only I can protect you.” “The world out there is unsafe.” “I am your mother.” “You belong to me.”

So like the serpent in the garden. Blinding and binding.

Claiming God is a shalt-not God. Claiming God is a hoarder. Claiming God is untrustworthy—that God does not have a good heart.

So like Satan. Blinding us to our true identity as children of the King. Binding us in chains of lies until we no longer remember who we are nor Whose we are.

My Chains Fell Off

But then (like the two greatest words in the English language—“But God”), her chains fell off, her heart was free. Through the unlikely intervention of the scoundrel Flynn Rider, Rapunzel remembers.

Stunned, she remembers her true identity. “I am the lost Princess!” “I am the daughter of the King!”

Remembering, she realizes how she has been used and abused by Gothel. She and Flynn sing words that powerfully portray how foolishly blind we were under Satan. In a song appropriately entitled I See the Light, they sing:

All those days watching in the windows, all those years outside looking in.

All that time never even knowing just how blind I’ve been.

Now I’m here blinking in the starlight; now I’m here suddenly I see.

Standing here it’s all so clear; I’m where I’m meant to be.

And at last I see the light, and it’s like the fog has lifted.

And at last I see the light, and it’s like the sky is new.

And it’s warm and real and bright, and the world has somehow shifted.

All at once everything looks different now that I see you.

Though singing to and about each other, I hear in their song the echoes of truth from eternity past. Truth about Christ and truth about who we are in Christ.

He left His Father’s throne above, so free, so infinite His grace—

Emptied Himself of all but love, and bled for Adam’s helpless race:

’Tis mercy all, immense and free, for O my God, it found out me!

Long my imprisoned spirit lay, fast bound in sin and nature’s night;

Thine eye diffused a quickening ray—I woke, the dungeon flamed with light;

My chains fell off, my heart was free, I rose, went forth, and followed Thee.

When we at last see the light of the Son of God, we remember. We recall that we are “a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that we may declare the praise of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light” (1 Peter 2:9).

We Drink from So Many False Fountains

In our endless attempt to find meaning, to find purpose, to find our true identity; we drink from endless cisterns. Jeremiah calls them “broken cisterns that can hold no water” (Jeremiah 2:13).

Rather than turning to God the Spring of Living Water; we turn to the world, the flesh, and the devil in futile attempts to discover who we are and Whose we are. We’re clueless to just how blind we’ve been. Blinded, we have no idea that the False Lover of our soul doesn’t love us one iota.

Set Free by Love

When we finally refuse to buy the lie, when we’re set free by the light of the Son, everything changes. We no longer live to find out who we are. We now live in light of Whose we are—children of the King.

“For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, ‘Abba, Father.’ The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory” (Romans 8:15-17).

Rapunzel and Flynn, living new lives aware of their true identity, no longer live for self. Their frantic search for self ended; they now live for each other and for the good of the Kingdom. Each is willing to pay the ultimate sacrifice to save the other.

As a result, the kingdom is restored. Celebration. Grace and wisdom. No more crime.

“Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, ‘Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.’ (Revelation 21:1-4).

Identity Lost and Found

We can’t go to the world’s Lost and Found Department if we expect to find our identity that comes from another realm. We must go to the Word’s Lost and Found Department to discover and uncover what’s been true all along.

We are given our true identity by grace through faith in Christ. It is the gift of God, not by works, lest anyone should boast.

Nothing the world has to offer—none of the broken cisterns, none of the false lovers of the soul—will ever provide true shalom. Peace that passes understanding comes when the light of the truth shines in our souls and we realize that we are sons and daughters of the God of Peace.

Join the Conversation

Where are you turning to discover who you are and Whose you are?

Tags: Disney, Identity in Christ, Movies, Tangled

The Anatomy of Anxiety

Part 19: Dancing to the Heartbeat of Redemption

Note: For previous posts in this blog mini-series, please visit: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18.

Purpose: Does worry, doubt, or fear get the best of you sometimes? Do you wonder where anxiety comes from and how to defeat it in your life and the lives of those you love? Then we need a biblical anatomy of anxiety. We need God’s prescription for victory over anxiety.

A Discipleship Process

Let’s begin to explore the first of ten dynamic elements for victory over anxiety. As we do, please understand this principle:

Conquering enslavement to fear is a discipleship process, not an exhortation event.

Victory does not come from being exhorted to “be anxious for nothing.”

Ongoing victory over anxiety requires an ongoing process of growth in grace—just like victory in any other area of life.

And, it requires a comprehensive process of progressive sanctification in all areas of life.

The first area, the core area, is spiritual victory.

Spiritual Victory: Dancing to the Heartbeat of Redemption

Conquering fear is first and foremost a spiritual matter.

Consider Romans 8:14-17.

“For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear (phobos, phobia, paralyzing terror), buy you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, Abba, Father. The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. Now I we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.”

Acknowledge False Enslavement to Fear

Spiritually, our first “step” in overcoming fear is to confess our fear.

“Father, I acknowledge that I’ve allowed myself to become enslaved to a mood of fear.”

The emotion of fear itself is not a sin. But enslavement to fear is. Paul calls it “doulous phobos”—slaves to fear. Until we take personal responsibility for allowing ourselves to become fear’s slave, we will never experience emancipation.

Accept Grace Connection to Your Father

Putting off enslavement to fear must be combined with putting on acceptance of freedom in Christ.

“Father, by grace through faith I accept my new Spirit of adulthood, of sonship. I cling to You, Daddy, Father. I am not a fearful little kid. I am Your adult son or daughter. I replace fear with Father. I replace spiritual separation anxiety with spiritual acceptance in my Father’s forever family. I accept by faith my new identity in Christ. I am a joint heir with Jesus.”

What Paul says in Romans 8:14-17, he reiterates in 2 Timothy 1:6-7.

“Fan into flame the gift of God which is in you. For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love, and of a sound mind and self discipline.”

Christian, do you understand your birthright?

Believer, do you know who you are in Christ?

“Father, thank you for the flame of courage and boldness you implanted in me the moment I was saved and made a new creation in Christ. I commit to doing my part of fanning into flame the fire that is already lit within me. I refuse and reject the spirit of timidity. I accept and receive the spirit of power, love, wisdom, sound mind, and self discipline that now defines who I am in Christ.”

Making It Real

1. What do you fear? Write your own prayer of confession of false enslavement.

2. Do you know who you are in Christ? Write your own prayer of acceptance of your new identity in Christ.

3. Reject the old, receive the new. Consciously refuse to see yourself as a timid, fearful child. Consciously see your new image in Christ: adult, son, daughter, powerful, loving, wise, sound mind, self-disciplined.

4. Dance. Dance to the heartbeat of redemption—the new you in Christ. Anxiety and fear says, “Be shy. Sit on the sidelines. Don’t dare dance. Refuse to get in the game. Victory in Christ says, “Be bold. Get off the bench. Dare to dance. Choose to enter the game!”

The Rest of the Story

Knowing who we aren’t (the old false me) and who we are (the new me in Christ) begins our spiritual healing. But we also need to understand Who God is and His relationship to us. In our next post we explore how to apply those truths practically in our victory over anxiety.

Tags: Anxiety, Biblical Counseling, Christ-Esteem, Identity in Christ, Peace, Redemption, Victory