Quotes of Note: God’s Grand Vision for His Church

The following “Quotes of Note” are from the Introduction and Chapter One of Equipping Counselors for Your Church. This section of the book focuses on God’s grand vision for His church.

• If pastors fail to focus on equipping, then we selfishly treat God’s people like children who have never grown up spiritually.

• When pastors focus on equipping, we leave an other-centered legacy of loving leaders.

• My goal is the promotion of a congregation-saturated mindset of every-member ministry with an entire congregation passionate about and equipped to make disciples.

• Pastoral care is not just what the pastor does, but what every member is equipped to offer to one another.

• Biblical counseling is not simply a ministry of a few in one corner of the church, but a mindset of an entire congregation that the Bible is sufficient for every life issue.

• Biblical counseling is focused one-another ministry designed to fulfill the Great Commandment and the Great Commission.

• Gospel-centered biblical counseling involves communicating Gospel truth about grace-focused sanctification in word, thought, and action through one-another relationships that have integrity, genuineness, authenticity, transparency, and reliability, done in love to promote the unity and maturity of the Body of Christ for the ultimate purpose of displaying the glory of Christ’s grace.

• God’s end goal is for every member to be a disciple-maker who speaks and lives Gospel truth in love to help one another to grow in Christ.

• We don’t want to create the ministry mindset where the only way people can relate to one another is by discussing their problems. The goal is to move people forward in Christlikeness whether or not they are facing specific crisis problems.

• If pastoral search committees desired in a pastor what Christ desires, they would throw out every résumé that failed to emphasize experience in and passion for equipping the saints.

• Christ’s grand plan for His Church is for pastors/teachers to focus on equipping every member to do the work of the ministry.

• These eight words must be every church leader’s reason for existence: “To prepare God’s people for works of service.”

• The leader’s calling is to help God’s people to fulfill their calling.

• Christ’s grand plan for His Church is for every member to be a disciple-maker by speaking and living Gospel truth to one another in love.

• Sadly, in far too many churches, the people of God are second-class citizens when it comes to the work of the ministry.

• Pastors and teachers serve the people so God’s people can serve the congregation and community.

• The normal agenda and priority of every Christian is to make disciple-makers.

• Christ’s training strategy for disciple-making involves pastors and teachers equipping every member to embody the truth in love through the personal ministry of the Word—biblical counseling.

Join the Conversation 

Which quote about God’s vision for His church resonates with you the most? Why?

Tags: Biblical Counseling, Discipleship, Equipping, Pastoral Ministry, Quotes

Responding Wisely to Conflict in Ministry

Nehemiah was doing God’s work, yet many people still resisted his ministry. Like him, when we seek to build up God’s people, we may expect pockets of envy, dishonesty, apathy, fury, mockery, and hostility.

Prayerfully, you will face few or none of these. Picture the following as the worst case scenario, the perfect storm. Nehemiah models how to weather the worst ministry storm imaginable.

Anticipate Pockets of Envy: Respond with Unity

When Sanballat and Tobiah heard that the King approved Nehemiah’s plan, “they were very much disturbed that someone had come to promote the welfare of the Israelites” (Neh. 2:10b). They questioned Nehemiah’s character not because they were concerned, but because they were afraid and envious. The intrusion of this outsider would strip away their power base and influence.

Rather than going toe-to-toe with these men, Nehemiah encouraged God’s people to minister shoulder-to-shoulder (Neh. 2:11-20). He invited a trusted circle of colleagues to assess the need, and then he called people to unite to conquer the problem. It wasn’t avoidance of the enemy, but rather a purposeful focus on God’s family.

Anticipate Pockets of Dishonesty: Respond with Humility and Integrity

When Geshem joined Sanballat and Tobiah, between the three of them their nations nearly surrounded Jerusalem. When they saw God’s people united in service, they falsely accused them. “Are you rebelling against the king?” (Neh. 2:19) They painted Nehemiah’s good as if it were evil because Satan curses whom God blesses.

In response to their dishonesty, Nehemiah spoke the truth in love with humility and integrity. Instead of standing up for himself, he exalted God. “The God of heaven will give us success” (Neh. 2:20). Rather than exalting himself, he saw himself through God’s eyes. “We his servants will start rebuilding” (Neh. 2:20).

It is not that Nehemiah stubbornly refused to search his heart. Rather, he had already been doing that. “I confess the sins we Israelites, including myself and my father’s house, have committed against you” (Neh. 1:6). Biblical self-awareness and spiritual confession are God’s antidote for false accusation.

Anticipate Pockets of Apathy: Respond with Tenacity

Problems from without are hard enough, but problems from within are even more difficult to endure. Nehemiah launched the work with great enthusiasm only to face a potential interruption. “But their nobles would not put their shoulders to the work under their supervision” (Neh. 3:5).

Interestingly, the text offers not a single word in response. The work continues unabated. While welcoming the support of all who offered it, Nehemiah had sufficient inner resources to stand alone if need be. In the tenacious discharge of his responsibilities, he was prepared to have no one but God. His energy was not dictated by other’s apathy.

Anticipate Pockets of Fury: Respond with Vulnerability

In Nehemiah 3, thirty-eight diverse work crews labor harmoniously to advance God’s kingdom. Then we read, “When Sanballat heard that we were rebuilding the wall, he became angry and was greatly incensed” (Neh. 4:3).

When someone pushes us, our inclination is to push back. When someone gets in our face, we’re tempted to get in their face. Nehemiah chose to get face-to-face with God. Vulnerably he prays, “Hear us, O our God, for we are despised” (Neh. 4:4). “Despised” means to view someone as insignificant, useless, worthless. In the Old Testament, this frequently results in discouragement. Think of that word: dis-courage, to have your courage melt away as you curl up in a fetal position feeling overwhelmed and undermanned. Rather than give in to that, Nehemiah gave up to God.

Anticipate Pockets of Mockery: Respond with God-Reality

Critics generally run in packs. Sanballat and Tobiah did. In the presence of their associates, Sanballat ridiculed the Jews. “What are these feeble Jews doing? Will they restore their wall? Will they offer sacrifices? Will they finish in a day?” (Neh. 4:2). Tobiah, who was at his side, said, “What they are building—if even a fox climbed up on it, he would break down their wall of stones!” (Neh. 4:3). They pile one on top of another cruel character assaults, relentless mocking, and malicious slicing and dicing.

Drop after drop, drip after drip, it takes its toll. Verse ten records what the people felt. Commentators believe it was actually sung as a funeral dirge. We might translate it as:

The strength of our burden bearing is drooping.

The rubbish heap so vast.

And we ourselves are stooping.

Unable to fulfill this impossible task.

If ever a people needed perspective—God-reality—it was them and it was now. Nehemiah looks things over, gathers his people, and says, “Don’t be afraid of them. Remember the Lord, who is great and awesome” (Neh. 4:14). When life stinks, our perspective shrinks. When our perspective shrinks, we need a full dose of eternal perspective, of God perspective. We need to remember Who God is, who we are in Christ, Who it is that is calling us, and what He is calling us to do.

Anticipate Pockets of Hostility: Respond with Creativity

When they reached the half-way point, opposition went from bad to worse. “So we rebuilt the wall till all of it reached half its height, for the people worked with all their heart” (Neh. 4:6). When Sanballat and his crew heard about their progress, “they were very angry. They all plotted together to come and fight against Jerusalem and stir up trouble against it” (Neh. 4:7b-8). To make matters worse, their own people told them “ten times over, ‘Wherever you turn, they will attack us’” (Neh. 4:12).

The half-way point is often the point of greatest opposition and greatest temptation to abandon our post. It’s the point at which others begin to take notice of our progress, but when we begin to focus on the huge task still ahead. Great leaders respond to the potential death and destruction of a dream with life and creativity. You can define the greatness of leaders by what it takes to discourage them and by how they encourage everyone around them.

Creative thinking in a crisis often requires both/and thinking, such as prayer and practicality. “But we prayed to our God and posted a guard day and night to meet this need” (Neh. 4:9). Nehemiah creatively suggests both working and protecting: “From that day on, half of my men did the work, while the other half were equipped with spears, shields, bows and armor” (Neh. 4:16). He creatively emphasizes both individuality and community: “Fight for your brothers, your sons and your daughters, your wives and your homes…. We all returned to the wall, each to his own work…. Wherever you hear the sound of the trumpet, join us there….” (Neh. 4:14, 15, 20).

Join the Conversation

Of the six areas of conflict, which have you faced in ministry? Of the six biblical responses, which would you like to add to your ministry?

Note: The preceding material is summarized from Chapter Five of Equipping Counselors for Your Church. 

Tags: Conflict, Conflict Resolution, Ministry

The Biblical Servant Pastor

Not the Mega-Star 

During the early days of television, two shows dominated the airwaves. One was on Tuesday night and the other aired on Sunday evening. Initially the most popular of the two shows was The Texaco Star Theatre hosted by Milton Berle. Originally it was designed along the lines of the old-fashion vaudeville variety hour with a host highlighting half-a-dozen guests each week.

However, little by little, Uncle Miltie became the star each week. As the format changed, the accent gradually focused increasingly on Berle himself. There were fewer guest acts, and Berle began to dominate each show. In just eight years, the steam ran out of Mr. Television. No one person is talented enough to carry any show, or any ministry, for more than a short time.

The Mega-Servant

The other show, The Ed Sullivan Show, experienced a very different fate. If any show in the history of television could be called an institution, it would be The Ed Sullivan Show. Every Sunday night for more than two decades this show brought an incredible variety of entertainers into homes. Sullivan’s show continued as a major hit for fifteen years longer than Berle.

Unlike Milton Berle, Ed Sullivan never wavered from his original format. He was the host who called other people to center stage. Numerous performers made their television debut on his show: Walt Disney, The Beatles, Elvis Presley, Bob Hope, Dean Martin, Jerry Lewis, and hundreds more. Though Ed Sullivan died soon after the last run of his show, he will not soon be forgotten. His legacy outlives him.

Are We Like Milton Berle or Ed Sullivan?

God calls leaders in the church to be like Ed Sullivan, not like Milton Berle. If we’re like Milton Berle, and the spotlight increasingly focuses on us and our individual ministry, then biblically we are missing God’s mark as equippers. If Christian leaders fail to focus on equipping, then we selfishly treat God’s people like children who have never grown up spiritually.

God wants us to be like Ed Sullivan—a host who calls others to center stage by equipping them to fulfill their calling. If Christian leaders focus on equipping, then we leave an other-centered legacy of loving leaders (2 Timothy 2:2).

The Rest of the Story 

Today’s post is from Equipping Counselors for Your Church which will be released September 23 by P & R Publishing.

• To Pre-Order Visit our Store 

• To Read the Foreword and a dozen endorsements visit our Equipping Counselors Home Page 

• Watch the Video Book Trailer 

• Read a Sample Chapter

Join the Conversation

How can the church be filled with Ed Sullivan equippers?

Tags: Discipleship, Ed Sullivan, Equipping, Equipping Counselors for Your Church, Milton Berle

Five to Live By

Linking you to the top 5 Christian blog posts of the week—posts that provide robust, rich, and relevant insights for living.

Are You an Astronaut or an Archeologist? 

Paul Tripp discusses how when we are young we are astronauts looking ahead to each new launch phase of life. As we age, we become archeologist looking back on our past. He also explores how we can look back, failures and all, and experience Christ’s Grace. Read his perspective in Archeologists and Unafraid. 

The Parenting Pendulum

Ed Welch at CCEF has an intriguing post with an even more interesting title: Parents Ignore Your Kids’ Feelings. Read it to find out what Ed thinks about the pendulum swings in how society says we should parent.

When Should I Confront?

Paul Tautges has a great post on Ten Questions I Need to Ask Before Confronting a Brother in Christ.

How to Recognize a Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing

This “classic” (old) post from John Piper has insight relevant for today about How to Recognize a Wolf in the Making. 

What Makes Biblical Counseling Biblical?

9Marks has an excellent interview with David Powlison on What Distinguishes Biblical Counseling from Other Methods? 

Join the Conversation

Which post impacted you the most? Why? What blog posts have you enjoyed this week that you want to share with others?

Tags: Parenting, Pastoral Ministry

How Do We Relate?

What were relationships like in the culture of the Roman Empire when the New Testament was written? Relationships were decidedly one-sided.

Persons with power ruled with an iron hand over those who were powerless.

“You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant. And whoever wants to be first must be your slave—just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and give his life as a ransom for many” (Mt. 20:25-28).

Persons with money abused the poor.

“Is it not the rich who are exploiting you? Are they not the ones who are dragging you into curt? Are they not the ones who are slandering the noble name of him to whom you belong?” (James 2:6b-7).

Fathers dominated, exasperated, embittered, and discouraged their children with harsh, dictatorial mistreatment (Eph. 6:4; Col. 3:21).

Husbands were inconsiderate of their wives, disrespectful, unloving, and acted in self-centered ways (1 P. 3:7; Eph. 5:25-33).

To use a technical term, relationships were perceived to be hierarchical. People ranked one another in a tiered system. The culture of the day classified and categorized everyone from top to bottom. If you were graded and ordered as below someone else, you had to give total allegiance and due deference. Those ranked on top demanded and enjoyed every privilege that rank allowed. They gave those lower on the totem pole no respect because the worldly culture of the day said none was deserved.

Instead

I love the Bible. I love statements like “but God.” And I love “instead” statements. We read one earlier. “Instead whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant (Mt. 20:26).

Peter picks up this same counter-cultural concept of servanthood when talking about elders and shepherds.

“Be shepherds of God’s flock that is under your care, serving as overseers—not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not greedy for money, but eager to serve; not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock” (1 Pt. 5:2-4).

James emphasizes the same counter-cultural concept of servant relationships when talking about the rich and the poor.

“Suppose a man comes into your meeting wearing a gold ring and fine clothes, and a poor man in shabby clothes also comes in. If you show special attention to the man wearing fine clothes and say, ‘Here’s a good seat for you,’ but say to the poor man, ‘You stand there’ or ‘Sit on the floor by my feet,’ 4 have you not discriminated among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts? Listen, my dear brothers: Has not God chosen those who are poor in the eyes of the world to be rich in faith and to inherit the kingdom he promised those who love him? But you have insulted the poor” (James. 2:2-6).

Paul, in addressing fathers and husbands exhorts them to live counter-cultural lives of Christ-like sacrificial, agape love for their children and wives.

Hierarchical or Sacrificial?

How do we relate? Do we relate in a hierarchical way or a sacrificial manner? Do we live counter-cultural to our self-centered world, or do we allow our minds to be conformed to our hierarchical world?

When church leaders demand deference and respect rather than demanding of themselves sacrificial relationships, they are modeling the world and not Christ.

When those who have lord it over those who have not, they are modeling the world and not Christ.

When fathers and husbands exasperate their children and dominate their wives, they are modeling the world and not Christ.

If anyone could have claimed the right to hierarchical relationships it would have been Christ Jesus, the Lord of all. Instead…

“Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death—even death on a cross!” (Phil. 2:6-8).

How does this relate to us?

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus” (Phil. 2:3-5).

Join the Conversation 

How do we relate: hierarchical sacrificial?

Tags: Christian Living, Humility, Pastoral Ministry, Relationships

Spiritual Leadership and Humble Relationships: Part 4—Open Wide Your Heart

Note: This is Part 4 of a blog mini-series asking, “How does Paul relate and respond to the Corinthians who criticize him, and what can we apply to our lives as leaders?” Read Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3. 

So Far…

In responding to criticism, Paul has:

• Affirmed those who criticize him by calling them holy and sanctified, thanking God for them, and by declaring them enriched in Christ and spiritually gifted!

• Focused his concern on the unity of the Body of Christ, the glory of Christ, and the goal of Christlikeness.

• Grounded his identity not in what his critics say about him, not in his own sense of self, but in who he is in Christ and to Christ.

Truth for Life

Please stop. Reread that list. Think about someone criticizing you. How would your response to their criticism and your relationship to the person(s) change if you did what Paul did?

Now, stop again. Think about a spiritual leader you or someone you know shared a concern with. How would this leader’s response have been more godly, more humble, had he or she responded like Paul? I don’t raise this question to stir trouble or pick on spiritual leaders. I raise it to remind us all, myself included, how easily we move from humble Christ-centered spirituality to arrogant, self-centered spiritual abuse.

We talk and write so much about conflict resolution. Paul lived conflict resolution; he embodied it. That’s why he says, “Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ” (1 Cor. 11:1).

As a Fair Exchange

Rather than prolong this series unnecessarily, I’ll wrap it up with two thoughts:

• If we gleaned this much truth for life from a brief running commentary on four chapters, just think what we could learn about conflict resolution and humble spiritual leadership from all of God’s sufficient, relevant Word!

• Conflict resolution requires a humble mindset of equality in Christ: equal status and equal sacrifice (2 Cor. 6:11-13).

In a moment when you read 2 Corinthians 6:11-13, let it sink in. Picture yourself in a disagreement with a spiritual friend. How could these words impact the two of you?

“We have spoken freely to you, Corinthians, and opened wide our hearts to you. We are not withholding our affection from you, but you are withholding yours from us. As a fair exchange—I speak as to my children—open wide your hearts also.”

I long for interactions like this where we can share concerns brother to brother without defensiveness and with humble openness.

Paul has this unique way of seeing others as his spiritual children in the faith, and yet treating them as his spiritual equals—as adult children.

Here’s what I think happens in our lives as spiritual leaders. We start out with good intentions. But then someone confronts us, even in love. In the flesh our default response is defensiveness where we pull rank and use our position as a bully pulpit to demean others and squash their spirit.

Paul does exactly the opposite. He speaks freely to them and opens his heart wide to them. He becomes vulnerable to them. In 2 Corinthians 1:8-11 he admits that he despaired of life and felt the sentence of death. He further acknowledges that he would not have made it without the help, comfort, support, and prayers of the Corinthians. How many of us as spiritual leaders today are that vulnerable?

Instead of closing ranks and pulling rank, he refuses to withhold his affection. Picture it like this:

• When I’m defensive as a spiritual leader, I use a stiff arm to keep you at bay. And, I simultaneously wrap both arms around myself in self-protective defensiveness. I refuse to let you in, refuse to be receptive to you and responsive to your feedback. It becomes all about you and your problem/issue. In fact, you become the problem because I’m too weak to face my spiritual neediness.

• When I’m humble and open as a spiritual leader, I give you a high-five (or a fist bump). I affirm you. I also open both arms wide to invite you into an intimate embrace.

What a difference: a stiff arm or a high five.

What a difference: two arms wrapped around myself in a cocoon of self-protection, or two arms opened wide inviting you into an embrace.

Paul’s almost done, but not quite. Recall how he finishes. “…but you are withholding yours from us. As a fair exchange—I speak as to my children—open wide your hearts also.”

He’s not saying, “I’m good and spiritual and above challenge and confrontation, but you are immature and unspiritual and in need of one-sided confrontation.”

Instead, he’s saying, “I’m open to your loving feedback. I so believe in your maturity in Christ, that I am challenging you in love to be open to my loving feedback. It’s a fair exchange. I’ve opened my heart wide to you, please open your heart wide to me.”

One Final Summation

In responding to criticism, Paul has:

• Affirmed those who criticize him by calling them holy and sanctified, thanking God for them, and by declaring them enriched in Christ and spiritually gifted!

• Focused his concern on the unity of the Body of Christ, the glory of Christ, and the goal of Christlikeness.

• Grounded his identity not in what his critics say about him, not in his own sense of self, but in who he is in Christ and to Christ.

• Maintained a humble mindset of equality in Christ: equal status and equal sacrifice; equal openness to loving confrontation and equal willingness to be challenged to grow in Christ.

Join the Conversation 

Which principle of humble spiritual response to criticism do you most need to apply to your life and relationships?

Tags: Conflict Resolution, Pastoral Ministry, Spiritual Abuse