Quotes of Note: What Makes Biblical Counseling Biblical? Part 2

The following “Quotes of Note” are from Chapter Nine of Equipping Counselors for Your Church. This chapter focuses on what makes biblical counseling truly biblical. For quotes from Chapter One, read God’s Grand Vision for His Church. For quotes from Chapter Two, read Knowing and Loving Those We Serve and Equip. For quotes from Chapters Three and Four read Christ’s Compelling Calling. For quotes from Chapter Five read My First Priority in Ministry. For quotes from Chapter Six read Mobilizing Ministers. For quotes from Chapter Seven read The Résumé of the Biblical Counselor. For quotes from Chapter Eight read What Makes Biblical Counseling Biblical?, Part 1. 

• As equippers of Christians we should never forget the freeing truth that the face of Jesus is already in every new creation in Christ (2 Corinthians 3:17-18; 5:17).

• God calls us to stir up and fan into flame the gift of God that He has already implanted in every believer (2 Timothy 1:5-7).

• We haven’t clearly and biblically thought through the purpose of biblical counseling. We have failed to identify spiritual formation (transformation into the image of Christ) as the ultimate goal of biblical counseling.

• In biblical counseling, we should be working toward soul-u-tions: comprehensive inner life transformation.

• The underlying theme of salvation is Christ having transformed us from the inside out from self-worshipping, self-sufficient, self-centered, self-driven persons to Christ-worshipping, Christ-sufficient, Christ-centered, Christ-pursing persons.

• The underlying theme of progressive sanctification is the ongoing transformation of our inner life from the old manner of life in sin and self to the new manner of life in Christ (Ephesians 417-24; Colossians 3:1-17).

• Relating like Christ is the first mark of Christ-like character that every biblical counseling trainee must cultivate (Matthew 22:34-40). Do we love like Jesus?

• Thinking like Christ is the second mark of Christ-like character that every biblical counseling trainee must cultivate. We want our trainees to see life with spiritual eyes, with faith eyes, with 20/20 spiritual vision.

• Choosing like Christ is the third mark of Christ-like character that every biblical counseling trainee must cultivate. Christ’s life mission must become our life mission (Mark 10:43b-45).

• Feeling like Christ is the fourth mark of Christ-like character that every biblical counseling trainee must cultivate. Emotionally, we want our trainees to face life honestly and to manage their moods biblically.

• I don’t want to point people to myself or to never-ending meetings with me. I want to point them to the ultimate Spiritual Friend (Christ) and to ongoing spiritual friendships (within the Body of Christ).

• We cannot effectively equip competent biblical counselors apart from the context of intimate biblical one-another community.

• Christian community is the growth-enhancing context, the fertile soil, the healthy environment for equipping people in biblical content, counseling competence, and Christ-like character.

• Every biblical counseling trainee must participate in two kinds of Christian community: communion with the Body of Christ and communion with Christ.

• We must create and nurture a safe environment where we weep with one another communicating that it’s normal to hurt and where together we explore life from God’s perspective communicating that it’s possible to hope.

• We must form and cultivate a grace environment where the faithful wounds of friends communicate that it’s horrible to sin but wonderful to be forgiven and where we stir up one another communicating that it’s supernatural to mature.

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What makes biblical counseling truly biblical?

Tags: Biblical Counseling, Equipping, Spiritual Formation

Competent to Counsel: Character Counts

If you want to help your struggling friend, what qualities do you need to develop in order to care like Christ? Yesterday we viewed the biblical answer to that question. “I myself am convinced, my brothers, that you yourselves are full of goodness, complete in knowledge and competent to instruct one another” (Romans 15:14). In this verse and the surrounding context, we discover the “4C Résumé of a Spiritual Friend”:

• Character: “Full of Goodness”

• Content/Conviction: “Complete in Knowledge”

• Competence: “Competent to Instruct One Another”

• Community: “Brothers”

Loving Like Jesus: Reflecting Christ—“Full of Goodness”

Is Paul saying that Christians who are far from Christ and unable to relate their way out of a paper bag are powerful spiritual friends? Of course not. Powerful spiritual friends have résumés with “full of goodness” as the first qualification, the first piece of evidence, that Paul accentuates.

“Goodness” is the same word Paul uses in Galatians 5:22-23 as one of the nine aspects of the fruit of the Spirit. When I first read Romans 15:14, I wondered why Paul would pick the fruit of goodness. Why not love, joy, peace, or any other fruit of the Spirit?

So, I explored goodness. The Old Testament highlights the basic confession that God is good because his love endures forever (1 Chronicles 16:34). It also emphasizes that our good God does good (Exodus 18:9). That is, he displays his goodness in active social relationships.

Further, I noted Christ’s statement that only God is good (Matthew 19:17). Then I noticed the equation of goodness and godliness with god-like-ness—with Christlikeness (Matthew 5:43-48; Ephesians 2:10; Colossians 1:10). In each of these passages, goodness displays itself in active, grace-oriented relationships, as when our good Father causes his sun to shine upon and his rain to fall on the righteous and the unrighteous.

William Hendriksen, in his commentary on Galatians, explains that goodness is a virtue that reveals itself in social relationships, in our various contacts and connections with others. Theologian Walter Gundmann demonstrates that biblical goodness always reveals itself in relational contexts through undeserved kindness.

So, in Romans 15:14, Paul is talking about Christlike character that relates with grace. Paul’s teaching us that the powerful minister is the person who relates well, who connects deeply, who is compassionate, and who has the ability to develop intimate, grace relationships.

• The powerful spiritual friend reflects the ultimate Spiritual Friend, Jesus.

• We are powerful to the degree that we love like Jesus.

In discussing goodness, Paul uses the modifier “full.” It pictures a net that breaks due to the stress and tension of too much weight and a cup that is so full that its contents spill over. Paul pictures mature love and godly character flowing through Christ to us, then spilling over from us into our spiritual friend’s life.

To the degree that you and I relate more and more like Jesus Christ, to the degree that we love like Jesus loves, to the degree that our relationships are as lovely as Christ’s were, to that degree we will be powerful spiritual friends. The person who is good at relating, is the person whose words and actions have powerful impact.

Do you love your struggling friend or family member? Do you long to help them effectively and powerfully? Then start by developing Christlike character. That’s where you power is. Become more like Christ so you can care like Christ.

The Rest of the Story

Is Paul implying that the best spiritual friend is the “touchy-feely” person who never dedicates himself or herself to serious study of the Scripture? Not at all. Join us next time as we explore the second qualification to be competent to counsel: biblical content.

Join the Conversation

The powerful spiritual friend reflects the ultimate Spiritual Friend—Jesus. What are you doing to become more like Christ so that you can care like Christ?

Note: Excerpted from Spiritual Friends.

Tags: Biblical Counseling, Competent to Counsel, Spiritual Friends

The Remedy for Secular Psychology

A friend shares with you a set of emotional symptoms that leave the two of you stumped. Where do you turn for answers that make a real difference?

A parishioner tells you about a decade-old “besetting sin” that they just can’t find victory over. Where do you turn to discern root causes and robust cures?

Real Answers for Real People with Real Problems

Whether you’re a lay person or a pastor, where do you turn for real answers?

Unfortunately, too often, in our sincere desire to help our hurting friends, we race to the latest trends. We turn to secular psychology and find human-shaped answers for God-shaped problems. We discover human-sized solutions when what we really need are God-sized SOUL-u-tions.

There has to be a better way.

There is. It’s God’s way. It’s learning to be a soul physician from the ultimate Soul Physician—Christ. It’s Christ-centered, comprehensive, compassionate, and culturally-informed biblical counseling and spiritual formation.

It’s the way the Apostle Paul spoke about and prayed about in Philippians. “And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight” (Philippians 1:9).

Soul Physicians: The Remedy for Secular Psychology

It was in my first pastoral ministry that I began equipping lay people and pastors to become soul physicians. I longed for them to understand people, diagnose problems, and prescribe solutions—biblically. I long for you to do the same.

Twenty-five years later, I authored Soul Physicians: A Theology of Soul Care and Spiritual Direction. It’s the remedy for secular psychology.

It’s also the remedy for “take two verses and call me in the morning.” It remedies “secular help” and “shallow help.”

Soul Physicians helps you to help your friends. It empowers you to change lives with Christ’s changeless truth.

Unique Focus: Life’s Seven Ultimate Questions

Soul Physician explores from the Scriptures seven truths that shape the way we see life and ministry. These truths about life’s seven ultimate questions teach us what makes biblical counseling truly biblical.

• Question 1: “What is truth? Where do I find answers?” Answer 1—The Word: “God’s Word is sufficient, authoritative, profound, and relevant.”

• Question 2: “Who is God?” Answer 2—Community/The Creator: “God is Trinitarian.”

• Question 3: “Who am I”? Answer 3—Creation: “We are created with dignity by God in the image of Christ.”

• Question 4: “What went wrong?” Answer 4—Fall: “We sinfully and foolishly choose god-substitutes over God.”

• Question 5: “Can we change? How do people change?” Answer 5—Redemption: “We must apply our complete salvation to our daily sanctification.”

• Question 6—“Where am I headed? What is my destiny?” Answer 6—Consummation/Glorification: “Heaven is my final home.”

• Question 7—“Can I help? How can I help?” Answer 7—Sanctification/Ministry: “We dispense God’s cure for the soul—grace.”

Unique Features

• Soul Physicians includes a built-in personal application discussion guide to help develop the Christlike character of the biblical counselor.

• Soul Physicians includes a built-in ministry implication discussion guide to help develop the relational competence of the biblical counselor.

• Soul Physicians is written in the language of “theo-drama”—relating theology practically and powerfully to our calling to love God and to love one another.

• Soul Physicians is comprehensive and compassionate—blending robust biblical truth with caring one another application.

• Soul Physicians is perfect for individual and group work. Join the growing number of lay people, pastors, professional Christian counselors, and students who are using Soul Physicians as their twenty-first century manual for understanding people and ministering to them God’s way.

Learn More

To read what others are saying, to download a free sample chapter, and to order Soul Physicians at 40% off, visit my RPM Ministries Soul Physicians page.

Join the Conversation

Where are you turning to be equipped for one another ministry in the local church that trains you to understand people, diagnose problems, and prescribe solutions—biblically?

Tags: Biblical Counseling, Chistian Counseling, Soul Physicians, Spiritual Formation

The Remedy for “Take Two Verses and Call Me in the Morning”

Your friend tells you, “My spouse just left me.” What do you say? How do you help?

A parishioner shares, “Pastor, I can’t deal with my bitterness and anger.” How do you respond?

What Do I Do After the Hug?

Whether you’re a lay person or a pastor, what do you do after the hug? How are you being trained for biblical one another ministry in the local church? Unfortunately, even the Christian world seems to recommend two extremes.

Extreme # 1: Secular Help.—“The World’s Way”

Someone comes to us with a life struggle, and in our panic we race to the self-help shelf at the local bookstore. Or we type the topic in an Amazon.com search and we find a boatload of the world’s answers.

There has to be a better way.

Extreme # 2: Shallow Help—“Take Two Verses and Call Me in the Morning”

Or, in our attempts to be biblical, we become shallow. We quote a verse and rub it on like a band-aid. We wave a passage of Scripture like a magic wand.

There has to be a better way.

How to Care Like Christ: Helping You to Help Your Friend

Of course there’s a better way. It’s caring like Christ. It’s speaking and living the truth in love. It’s Christ-centered, comprehensive, compassionate, and culturally-informed biblical counseling and spiritual formation.

It’s caring like the Apostle Paul who said, “We loved you so much that we gave you not only the Scriptures, but our own souls, because you were dear to us’ (1 Thessalonians 2:8).

Spiritual Friends: The Remedy for “Take Two Verses and Call Me in the Morning”

It was in my first pastoral ministry that I began equipping lay people and pastors in spiritual friendship. I longed for them to combine truth and love, Scripture and soul, so they could help others with suffering and sin. I long for you to do the same.

Twenty-five years later, I authored Spiritual Friends: A Methodology of Soul Care and Spiritual Direction. It’s the remedy for “take two verses and call me in the morning.” It’s the remedy to shallow help and to secular help.

Spiritual Friends helps you to help your friends. It equips you to change lives with Christ’s changeless truth.

Unique Focus

• Spiritual Friends trains you, step-by-step, in a relational model for dealing with suffering and with sin.

• Spiritual Friends equips you to develop five “GRACE” biblical counseling skills to offer sustaining help for suffering. “It’s Normal to Hurt.”

• Spiritual Friends equips you to develop five “RESTS” biblical counseling skills to offer healing hope for suffering. “It’s Possible to Hope”

• Spiritual Friends equips you to develop six “PEACEE” biblical counseling skills to offer reconciling care-fronting for sin and growth in grace. “It’s Horrible to Sin, but Wonderful to Be Forgiven.”

• Spiritual Friends equips you to develop six “FAITHH” biblical counseling skills to offer guiding wisdom for sin and growth in grace. “It’s Supernatural to Mature.”

Unique Features

• Spiritual Friends includes a built-in application guide to help you to grow in Christ-like character.

• Spiritual Friends is a biblically-relevant training manual with thousands of sample “spiritual conversations” that model how to speak the truth in love.

• Spiritual Friends is a relational practical workbook with hundreds of skill-building exercises to train you in the art of spiritual friendship/biblical counseling.

• With scores of role-plays, vignettes, life applications, and ministry implications—Spiritual Friends is perfect for individual and group work. A growing number of church small groups, church lay counseling training ministries, pastors, professional Christian counselors, and students are using Spiritual Friends as their twenty-first century manual for people helping.

Learn More

To read what others are saying, to download a free sample chapter, and to order Spiritual Friends at 40% off, please visit my RPM Ministries Spiritual Friends page.

Join the Conversation

How are you being equipped for biblical one another ministry in the local church?

Tags: Biblical Counseling, Christian Counseling, Spiritual Formation, Spiritual Friends

A Conversation about Brian McLaren’s A New Kind of Christianity

Final Recap: Links to Responses to A New Kind of Christianity

Welcome: I’ve finished blogging my way through a series of responses to Brian McLaren’s book A New Kind of Christianity. My focus has been on pastoral theology or practical theology response. As a pastor, counselor, and professor who equips the church for biblical counseling and spiritual formation, I was asking: “What difference does our response to each question make for how we care like Christ (biblical counseling) and for how we live like Christ (spiritual formation)?”

Final Recap: Word Document Format

I’ve created an edited version of my entire blog series in a Word Document format. It’s free, so I’ve posted it along with my other Free Resources. You can enjoy over 100 free resources for your life and ministry at RPM Ministries. 

Feel free to download and to share my final recap in Word Document format: A Conversation about Brian McLaren’s A New Kind of Christianity.

Final Recap: Blog Format

If you’ve benefitted from this blog series, and if you think others would benefit also, please feel free to reference this series, link to it on your site, or post it on your site.

Here are all the links in my blog series on A New Kind of Christianity.

• Post # 1: Brian McLaren, I Accept Your Invitation

• Post # 2: A Biblical Counseling Response to Brian McLaren

• Post # 3: Responding to Brian McLaren’s Q # 1: The Narrative Question

• Post # 4: Responding to Brian McLaren’s Q # 2: The Authority Question—The Bible

• Post # 5: Responding to Brian McLaren’s Q # 3: The God Question

• Post # 6: Responding to Brian McLaren’s Q # 4: The Jesus Question

• Post # 7: Responding to Brian McLaren’s Q # 5: The Gospel Question

• Post # 8: Responding to Brian McLaren’s Q # 6: The Church Question

• Post # 9: Responding to Brian McLaren’s Q # 7: The Sex Question

• Post # 10: Responding to Brian McLaren’s Q # 8: The Future Question

• Post # 11: Responding to Brian McLaren’s Q # 9: The Pluralism Question

• Post # 12: Responding to Brian McLaren’s Q # 10: The What Now Question

• Post # 13: Conclusion: The Final Word and the Word After That

Six Views

I’ve also collated other responses and reviews to A New Kind of Christianity.

• 6 Views on Brian McLaren’s A New Kind of Christianity

Join the Conversation

Which question do you think is most important and why?

Tags: A New Kind of Christianity, Biblical Counseling, Bob Kellemen, Book Review, Brian McLaren, Spiritual Formation

A Conversation about Brian McLaren’s A New Kind of Christianity

The Final Word: And the Word After That

Welcome: You’re reading the final post, Part 13, of my blog series responding to Brian McLaren’s book A New Kind of Christianity (read Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, and Part 12). Many have engaged Brian’s thinking by focusing on a systematic theology response (read 6 Views on Brian McLaren’s A New Kind of Christianity for a boatload of links). My focus is on pastoral theology or practical theology. As a pastor, counselor, and professor who equips the church for biblical counseling and spiritual formation, I’m asking: “What difference does our response to each question make for how we care like Christ (biblical counseling) and for how we live like Christ (spiritual formation)?”

The Final Word: I’m Thankful for Brian’s Questions

While it’s obvious that I disagree with many of Brian’s answers, I’m thankful for each of Brian’s questions. I agree 100% with Brian that we should be having deep theological and practical conversations about these ten questions. I won’t repeat them here. I’ve engaged Brian about them for two weeks and thirteen posts.

I’ve not only indicated my theological disagreements along the way, I’ve also shared my “relational disappointment.” I don’t believe the conversation was nearly as inviting as it could have been. I think Brian repeatedly painted extreme stereotypes and pejorative caricatures of others, while consistently painting himself and his views with saintly hues. This not only turns off those Brian is speaking against, it also grossly misinforms those to whom Brian is speaking. Additionally, it’s unfair of Brian, in my opinion, for him to expect others to remain quiet or to response submissively while he attempts to demolish and deconstruct what they consider the bedrock of biblical Christianity.

I understand that there’s a long history here for Brian and some of those who disagree with him. I also know that some who have read A New Kind of Christianity have said, “That’s it. I’m done. There’s no reason even to try to reason together with Brian.” Call me naïve. I’d like to think there could still be a respectful conversation.

I think it would be interesting to read a co-authored book with Brian and someone from “the old kind of Christianity.” I’d envision those two authors engaging their differences candidly and respectfully. I’d expect those two authors to portray each other accurately, even while lovingly and at times forcefully disagreeing. I’d anticipate those two authors exegeting Scriptures—perhaps even the same passages, to support their divergent views.

The Word After That: The Biblical Counseling and Spiritual Formation Perspective—For All the Church

Little did I know what I was signing up for when I volunteered myself to offer a biblical counseling response to Brian’s answers to his ten questions. However, I’m glad I did.

I’m passionate about pastoral theology and practical theology. I think they’re missing ingredients in these conversations. We rightly approach these issues from the “academic” theology perspectives of systematic theology, biblical theology, and exegetical theology. But we often omit the “spiritual” theology perspectives of how a book like A New Kind of Christianity impacts real life and everyday ministry. When we fail to respond to Brian from a practical theology perspective, we further enhance the false caricature and the extreme stereotype that “the old kind of Christianity” is all about academic theology and not also equally about practical theology.

Biblical counseling and spiritual formation are subsets of practical/pastoral/spiritual theology. They include many types of one another ministries: soul care, spiritual direction, spiritual friendship, etc. They go by many names: biblical counseling, Christian counseling, discipleship, mentoring, coaching, etc. Whatever we call them, I trust that as a side benefit of my responses, readers have glimpsed a clearer and a bigger picture of “biblical counseling and spiritual formation.”

Biblical counseling is not simply what happens between two people in an office. Biblical counseling and spiritual formation are ways of thinking about life, ways of doing ministry, and ways of living out the daily Christian life. The biblical counseling perspective on the sufficiency of Scripture has much to offer all Christians. The spiritual formation perspective on progressive sanctification has much to offer the Body of Christ.

The biblical counseling theology of people, problems, and solutions provides robust implications and applications for doing life and being like Christ. The spiritual formation methodology of soul care and spiritual direction provides comprehensive insights for the personal ministry of the Word. They are profitable for all the church.

The Rest of the Story

In my next post, I’ll share a “Final Recap” that includes links to every blog in this series, plus links to other reviews, and a new link to a Word Document version of my entire series.

Join the Conversation

Of everything in A New Kind of Christianity and out of everything in my responses, what do you think has been most important?

Tags: A New Kind of Christianity, Biblical Counseling, Bob Kellemen, Brian McLaren, Spiritual Formation