Journeying and Journaling with God

Worshipping: Finding God

Note: At the end of each chapter of God’s Healing for Life’s Losses: How to Find Hope When You’re Hurting, I include two reflection/action sections. One is Your Journey and one is Your Journal. Today, I’m sharing a few sample Worshipping Journey and Journal interactions to help you on your path of grief and growth—of finding God’s healing hope.

Your Worshipping Journey

1. Satan wants to use suffering to cause you to doubt God and to turn to false idols of the heart. In what ways have you faced such temptation? How are you overcoming them?

2. Facing his suffering, Asaph said, “Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you” (Psalm 73:25). In what ways are you responding to suffering like Asaph?

Your Worshipping Journal

1. How are you finding God even when you don’t find answers?

2. How are you walking with God in the dark and finding Him to be the light of your soul?

3. How are you using your suffering as an opportunity to know God better?

4. Suffering can either shove us far from God or drag us kicking and screaming closer to Him. Which direction do you seem headed?

Join the Conversation

Which of the interactions/questions/reflections most resonate with you?

Tags: God's Healing, Grief, Worship

Pastoral Ministry: Air Wars and Ground Wars

As I’ve been speaking at the Moody Bible Pastors’ Conference on topics related to equipping pastors for pastoral counseling and discipleship, some “dual images” have been coming to mind.

*Preaching and Counseling

*The Pulpit Ministry of the Word and the Personal Ministry of the Word

*Air Wars and Ground Wars

*Bombing the Shores and Hand-to-Hand Combat

Each twin metaphor seeks to compare and contrast how pastors change lives with Christ’s changeless truth either through preaching or through counseling. Both should be ministries of the Word. That foundation should never change, although the method of communication/connecting should be quite different in preaching from personal counseling.

Here’s the question I’ve been asking myself.

Why do some Evangelical pastors who are committed to expository, exegetical preaching where they relate God’s truth to their people’s lives, “jump ship” and change their commitment when it comes to the personal ministry of the Word (counseling)?

In other words, when we’re in the pulpit, why do we trust the power of God’s Word to change lives, but when we’re in our offices with a struggling parishioner we seem to lose that trust, trusting instead in worldly wisdom?

Why are we confident that God’s Word is profoundly relevant to change lives when shared from the pulpit, but then we seem to lose that confidence in the personal ministry of the Word when sitting across from a spiritual friend?

Again, I’m not suggesting that counseling equals individual preaching. I am, however, suggesting that counseling (the personal ministry of the Word) equals spiritual conversations based upon biblical insights for living mutually explored in the context of a committed relationship. I am suggesting that the Word is powerful to change lives both when preached from the pulpit and when applied together in the relational context of one another ministry.

Join the Conversation

Why do some Evangelical pastors seem to lose their confidence in the profound relevance of God’s Word when they move from preaching to personal counseling?

Tags: Counseling, Pastoral Ministry, Preaching

The Best of the Best Around the Net (5/2/10)

The Best of the Best Around the Net links you to blog posts that provide robust, rich, and relevant insights for living. Check out the following links you can trust.

21 Leadership Quotes

Scott Williams at Big Is the New Small has collated 21 Leadership Quotes.

A Gospel-Centric Counseling Book

Mark Tubbs of Discerning Reader has posted a new review of Soul Physicians in his Blog Through of the book. He says, “I’m so convinced of its helpfulness that I urge all pastors and leaders who read this blog entry to invest in a copy and spend the summer reaping its benefits, not only for their counseling ministries but for their church(es) at large. There’s no member, young or mature spiritually, that will fail to take something away that enriches devotion to Christ.”

The Life and Death of An Atheist

Albert Mohler ponders the life and death of the world’s most famous atheist who later in life rejected atheism: The Death of a (Former) Atheist — Antony Flew, 1923-2010. Mohler develops the thesis: “Antony Flew’s rejection of atheism is an encouragement, but his rejection of Christianity is a warning. Rejecting atheism is simply not enough.”

66 Love Letters

The new Gospel Coalition Review site is up and running. They’ve posted my review of Larry Crabb’s latest book 66 Love Letters. Learn more about the Bible as God’s love letter to His people.

Join the Conversation

Of The Best of the Best Around the Net, which post impacted you the most? Why?

What blog posts have you enjoyed this week that you want to share with others?

Tags: Best of the Best, Larry Crabb, Lists

The Forty-Day Journey of Promise

Day Twenty-Three: Praising the Lord

Note: Welcome to The Journey, our forty-day blog series from MLK Day through the end of Black History Month. We’re learning life lessons from the legacy of African American Christianity. The series is based upon material from my book Beyond the Suffering. To learn more about Beyond the Suffering, including downloading a free chapter, click here.

Praising the Lord

What was worship like in the Invisible Institution (the hidden, secret church services during slavery)? When sharing the Word, African American believers heard from the Lord through one another. In praising the Lord, they spoke to the Lord with one another.

Praying and singing were not items on their “to do” list, nor were they lines on an “Order of Worship” in a church bulletin. They were opportunities to encounter God together. As with sharing the Word, praising the Lord provided the occasion for everyone to participate in the life of the congregation at a significant level of personal and communal involvement.

It Takes a Community

Ex-slave Alice Sewell seamlessly intertwines praying, singing, communal ministry, and sustaining empathy in her depiction of the Invisible Institution.

“We used to slip off in the woods in the old slave days on Sunday evening way down in the swamps to sing and pray to our own liking. We prayed for this day of freedom. We came from four and five miles to pray together to God that if we don’t live to see it, to please let our children live to see a better day and be free, so that they can give honest and fair service to the Lord and all mankind everywhere.”

Sewell’s vignette contains precise theology—prayer requests were for God’s glory (“give honest and fair service to de Lord”) and for the good of others (“and all mankind everywhere”). It also speaks of personal commitment—walking five miles for prayer meeting!

Songs of Worship and Fellowship

Singing was both a worship and a fellowship experience—a communal enterprise. Jonas Bost of Newtown, North Carolina, reminisces about one such song. “I remember one old song we used to sing when we met down in the woods back of the barn. . . .

Oh, Mother lets go down, lets go down, lets go down, lets go down.

Oh, Mother lets go down, down in the valley to pray.

As I went down in the valley to pray,

Studying about that good ole way,

Who shall wear that starry crown?

Good Lord, show me the way.”

Most significant is his concluding memory.

“Then the other part was just like that except it said ‘Father’ instead of ‘Mother,’ and then ‘Sister’ and then ‘Brother.’”

They mutually cared for one another as an extended family with concern for every member, whether father, mother, sister, or brother.

The Drama of Redemption

The slaves often transformed their sung narrative into a dramatic acted narrative. The community became participants in historic deliverance events such as the children of Israel crossing the Red Sea or Joshua’s army marching around the walls of Jericho.

Their bodies chained in enslavement, their spirits soared like eagles through the Holy Spirit and through the communal spirit of joint worship.

Join the Conversation (Post a Comment for a Chance to Receive a Copy of Beyond the Suffering)

1. Regarding praising the Lord, within your worship context and cultural setting, what might further enhance your corporate glorification of God?

2. What could you learn about worship from the African American legacy?

Tags: Beyond the Suffering, Black History Month, The Journey

Conversations on the Future of Biblical Counseling

Part I: What About Brad? What About Bob?

Some History

In my role as Director of the Biblical Counseling and Spiritual Formation Network (BCSFN), I was asked to share my vision of the future of biblical counseling. The American Association of Christian Counselors (AACC) published my vision in Christian Counseling Today. You can download that article for free here. 

Not long after the publication of The Future of Biblical Counseling: Dreaming a Dozen Dreams, Brad Hambrick of the Association of Biblical Counselors (ABC) asked if we could engaged in a series of conversations unpacking my twelve dreams.

What you’re about to read is my updated, edited version of my original article and of my extended conversation with Brad. I share it with the desire to continue the conversation by inviting you to dialogue about what makes biblical counseling truly biblical.

What About Brad?: Brad Hambrick’s Introduction

When was the last time you had a long conversation about your hopes and dreams for biblical counseling? When was the last time you sat down with someone who has spent over two decades studying, living, pastoring, and analyzing biblical counseling to glean from their experience and journey? When was the last time you allowed yourself to be challenged and asked challenging questions about your theory and practice of counseling?

I hope your answer to these questions is recently, but not many of us have the blessing of time or an experienced partner for such edifying talks. This was my (Brad Hambrick) privilege in a series of five conversations with Dr. Robert Kellemen.

The outline for these extended conversations comes from Dr. Kellemen’s article The Future of Biblical Counseling: Dreaming a Dozen Dreams. After reading the article, I asked Dr. Kellemen if he would be willing to engage in a series of conversations that would seek to “unpack” his dreams for The Journal of Counseling & Discipleship. We intentionally wrote conversationally in order to allow the articles to have a personal rather than academic feel.

Our goal was not simply to trace the history of biblical counseling from Dr. Kellemen’s experience in order to dream about its future, but to model mutually-respectful, thought-provoking conversation about the history, theory, practice, and future of biblical counseling. We do not always share the same conclusions (doubtless many readers may disagree with both of us in the pages that follow), although I greatly respect his core convictions and heart for biblical counseling.

What About Bob?: Getting to Know Dr. Robert W. Kellemen

BCH: Dr. Kellemen would you please take a moment to introduce yourself to our readers. As we get ready to discuss your dreams for the future of biblical counseling, I think it would help our readers to know a bit of your background, testimony, counseling heritage, and ministry settings.

 RWK: Brad, thanks for the opportunity to engage you and your readers on the vital issue of the future of biblical counseling. And thank you for allowing me to start at a personal level.

Early Roots and Counseling Heritage

In 1974, I was saved as a teenager at Grace Baptist Church in Gary, Indiana under the ministry of Pastor Bill Goode, who many of your readers knew well as a pioneer in biblical counseling. I was discipled by Pastor Ron Allchin, another leader in the biblical counseling movement. I also grew up with and remain great friends with Pastor Steve Viars, yet another biblical counseling leader.

As for my counseling heritage, as your readers can tell, I was weaned on biblical counseling. I also studied under Drs. Larry Crabb and Dan Allender at Grace Theological Seminary. My own approach to counseling, to be honest, was developed during some “counseling wars” at Grace Seminary in the early 80s. I kept thinking, “Surely the Church has always been about the business of helping hurting and hardened people.” So, I started devouring Church history. I wrote my Ph.D. dissertation on Martin Luther’s pastoral counseling.

I would say that people like Augustine, Martin Luther, John Calvin, and Jonathan Edwards have shaped my understanding of the Bible’s teaching on Biblical Counseling as much as or more than modern writers. Of course, like all biblical counselors, I would like to think that the Scriptures themselves shape my thinking on biblical counseling.

Education and Experience

I graduated from Baptist Bible College in Clarks Summit, Pennsylvania with my BS in Bible and Pastoral Ministry, from Grace Theological Seminary in Winona Lake, Indiana with my Th.M. in Theology and Biblical Counseling, and from Kent State University in Kent, Ohio with my Ph.D. in Counselor Education.

I have pastored three churches, one as a Sr. Pastor, and in all three churches a major emphasis of my ministry has been training lay Biblical Counselors. For a dozen years, I served as chairman of the MA in Christian Counseling and Discipleship (MACCD) Department at Capital Bible Seminary in Lanham, Maryland. I also was the founding Director of the Biblical Counseling and Spiritual Formation Network (BCSFN), a division within the American Association of Christian Counselors (AACC).

Resources on Biblical Counseling

I have authored five books on Biblical Counseling. Soul Physicians: A Theology of Soul Care and Spiritual Direction (BMH Books, 2007), Spiritual Friends: A Methodology of Soul Care and Spiritual Direction (BMH Books, 2007), Beyond the Suffering: Embracing the Legacy of African American Soul Care and Spiritual Direction (Baker Books, 2007), Sacred Friendships: Celebrating the Legacy of Women Heroes of the Faith (BMH Books, 2009), and God’s Healing for Life’s Losses: How to Find Hope When Your Hurting (BMH Books, 2010). I’m passionate about historic, Evangelical spiritual care—the pastor as soul physician, and God’s people as spiritual friends to one another.

RPM Ministries

I am the Founder of RPM Ministries (www.rpmministries.org). Through RPM Ministries I speak around the country on Christ-centered, comprehensive, compassionate, and culturally-informed Biblical Counseling. I also provide consultation ministry for churches looking to start lay Biblical Counseling ministries.

Family

My wife, Shirley, is an elementary kindergarten teacher and the most gracious encourager I have ever known. She and I have been married for twenty-nine years and live in Crown Point, Indiana. Our son, Josh, is a second-year law student and is married to his college sweetheart, Andi. Our daughter, Marie, is a college senior at Purdue majoring in chemistry. For over two decades, I have loved coaching high school wrestling (in all my spare time).

Extending the Conversation

1. You know some of my story, what’s your story of involvement with and training in Christian biblical counseling?

2. How often have you seen, heard, or engaged in mutually-respectful, thought-provoking conversations about Christian living and ministry? Why does it often seem difficult to do so?

3. How would you define biblical counseling?

The Rest of the Story

I invite you to return tomorrow as I outline the twelve dreams for the future of biblical counseling.  

Brad Hambrick

Tags: Biblical Counseling, Future of Biblical Counseling, Kellemen, Spiritual Formation

It Is Well with My Soul

In 1873, the steamship Ville du Havre was struck by an iron sailing vessel while crossing the Atlantic. 246 people died, including the four daughters of Chicago lawyer Horatio Spafford.

His wife Anna survived. Just two years earlier their four-year-old son died of scarlet fever, and the Great Chicago Fire of 1871 financially ruined him.

While sailing the Atlantic to reunite with his wife after the death of their girls, he penned the beloved hymn, It Is Well with My Soul.

Mars Hill Church created the following video tribute (click on title centered below).

It Is Well with My Soul

Meditate on the words of It Is Well with My Soul:

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Refrain:

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
If Jordan above me shall roll,
No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life
Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.

But, Lord, ’tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
Oh, trump of the angel! Oh, voice of the Lord!
Blessed hope, blessed rest of my soul!

And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.

The Anatomy of Anxiety, Part 18: Bob Newhart Counseling? 

Bob Newhart's "Stop It!"

 

Note: For previous posts in this blog mini-series, please visit: 1: http://bit.ly/aHstk, 2: http://bit.ly/20R01P, 3: http://bit.ly/HAoxI, 4: http://bit.ly/1I6XmF, 5: http://bit.ly/19Jdqt, 6: http://bit.ly/19vCXx, 7: http://bit.ly/21wPLg, 8: http://bit.ly/m50On, 9: http://bit.ly/4vhNIt, 10: http://bit.ly/1ClPr4, 11: http://bit.ly/2Sb2Ec, 12: http://bit.ly/2xv4BV, 13: http://bit.ly/baNuS, 14: http://bit.ly/UFIy1, 15: http://bit.ly/31fQYo, 16: http://bit.ly/3mmTm4, 17: http://bit.ly/7kmOo2

Purpose: Does worry, doubt, or fear get the best of you sometimes? Do you wonder where anxiety comes from and how to defeat it in your life and the lives of those you love? Then we need a biblical anatomy of anxiety. We need God’s prescription for victory over anxiety.

Here’s How Not to Do It: Bob Newhart Counseling!

Conquering enslavement to fear is a discipleship process, not an exhortation event.

Here’s what I mean.

Some so-called “biblical counselors” would quote, “Be anxious for nothing, but by prayer and supplication let your requests be made know unto God.” Then they would exhort godly behavior. “So, quit sinning. Start trusting.”

That’s not biblical counseling. That’s lazy counseling. That’s Pharisaical counseling.

That’s Bob Newhart counseling. In the classic Mad TV skit a counselee sees him because she has a phobia about being buried alive in a box. His two-word counsel. “Stop it!”

To see how not to counsel phobias, go here.

The Rest of the Story: The Ten Dynamic Elements of Victory Over Anxiety

Often I learn best from what not to do. So…don’t do what Bob Newhart does. If you are, then…“Stop it!”

What do we do instead to overcome anxiety and to help others to have victory over anxiety?

Biblical counseling for anxiety is a Christ-centered, comprehensive, compassionate, and culturally-informed relational process of changing lives with Christ’s changeless truth so we move from stuck anxiety to courageous trusting and bold love.

Over the rest of this blog series, we’ll see that it involves ten dynamic elements:

1. Spiritual Guiding: Dancing to the Heartbeat of Redemption

2. Social Guiding: Enjoying Healing Conversations and Connections

3. Self-Aware Guiding: Soothing My Soul in My Savior

4. Mental Guiding: Replacing Condemning Lies with Grace Truths

5. Motivational Guiding: Choosing to Live and Love with Courage

6. Emotional Guiding: Managing Moods by Becoming Emotionally AWARE

7. Physical Guiding: Living as Jars of Clay

8. Life Situational Guiding: Getting Off the Merry-Go-Round

9. Life Style Guiding: Practicing the Spiritual Disciplines

10. Commencement: Experiencing Ongoing Victory Over Anxiety

Tags: Anxiety, Biblical Counseling, Bob Newhart, Stop It

The Anatomy of Anxiety, Part 17: How to Put Off Anxiety

Note: For previous posts in this blog mini-series, please visit: 1: http://bit.ly/aHstk, 2: http://bit.ly/20R01P, 3: http://bit.ly/HAoxI, 4: http://bit.ly/1I6XmF, 5: http://bit.ly/19Jdqt, 6: http://bit.ly/19vCXx, 7: http://bit.ly/21wPLg, 8: http://bit.ly/m50On, 9: http://bit.ly/4vhNIt, 10: http://bit.ly/1ClPr4, 11: http://bit.ly/2Sb2Ec, 12: http://bit.ly/2xv4BV, 13: http://bit.ly/baNuS, 14: http://bit.ly/UFIy1, 15: http://bit.ly/31fQYo, 16: http://bit.ly/3mmTm4

Does worry, doubt, or fear get the best of you sometimes? Do you wonder where anxiety comes from and how to defeat it in your life and the lives of those you love? Then we need a biblical anatomy of anxiety. And, we need God’s prescription for victory over anxiety.

Putting Off and Putting On

In our last post (http://bit.ly/3mmTm4), I discussed the “touchy” issue of exposing and dealing with sin issues involved in anxiety.

The Bible never talks about putting off sin without also instructing us how to put on holy, loving living.

Putting off heart sins of self-trust associated with anxiety, we need to put on trusting Christ as our Sentry.

Putting off relational sins of self-protection associated with anxiety, we need to put on tending and befriending—protecting others.

Motivations to Trust and Love

To be motivated to put off, we need to see the horrors of our sin—even in anxiety issues. Consider the three areas of our relationship to God (spiritual), others (social), and self (self-aware).

Self-protective anxiety is horrible spiritually because it reveals that we fear something more than we fear God. It means that we entrust ourselves to something more than we entrust ourselves to God.

Self-protective anxiety is horrible socially because it reveals that we tend and befriend ourselves rather than or more than we tend and befriend others. Even seemingly altruistic endeavors like public speaking may be fraught with selfishness if we speak as fearful people pleasers trying to impress others or fearful of what others think of us.

Self-protective anxiety is horrible in terms of our self-awareness because we believe lies about ourselves. We live the lie that we are slaves to fear and that we are babies, rather than living the truth that we are slaves to righteousness and that we are adult sons and daughters of God in Christ. We focus on self-esteem when we should be focused on Christ-esteem: Who Christ is and who we are in Christ.

“But It Can’t Be Sin!”

In the midst of anxiety, we may argue:

“But it can’t be sin! I would not have these feelings if I could get rid of them. They’re uninvited. Unwanted. Alien. Intruders. Invaders. I have no choice but to feel these fears!”

At one level, this may be somewhat true. We can’t totally control what feelings we experience. Plus, it is true that mentally and physically we can begin to habituate ourselves to these feelings.

However, at another, deeper level, it (anxiety) can be sin; can be a choice. We can control our spiritual, social, mental, volitional, and behavioral response to our feelings of anxiety.

So why would we choose to stay stuck in anxious patterns?

“Secondary Gain”

To understand that, we need to understand “secondary gain.”

What do I get out of staying fearful? What responsibilities and callings do I avoid? What pampering do I receive?

I may or may not be able to control the physical reaction or the immediate emotional response when anxiety strikes. But I can control my relational, mental, motivational, and behavioral responses. When I don’t, I need to ask myself:

“What am I getting out of staying stuck in my pattern of anxiety? What does it buy me? What does it protect me from?”

The Rest of the Story

So just how do we put off the sins of self-trust, self-protection, and self-esteem? How do we put on trusting Christ as our Sentry, tending and befriending others, and living out our new identity in Christ?

In the rest of our blog series, we’ll explore specific biblical guiding principles that answer these vital questions. We’ll use the following categories to find victory over anxiety:

1. Relational: Spiritual, Social, Self-Aware—How to Love Sacrificially

2. Rational: Beliefs and Images—How to Think Biblically

3. Volitional: Motivation and Behavior—How to Choose Courageously

4. Emotional: Reactions and Responses—How to Manage Our Moods

Stay tuned and continue to join the journey.

Tags: Anxiety, Biblical Counseling, Christ-Esteem, Christian Counseling, Sin, Trust

A Compelling Ride: A Review of Sacred Friendships

Reviewer: Aaron D. Taylor

Sacred Friendships is truly a unique book. On the one hand, the book serves as a celebration of little-known women heroes throughout church history. On the other hand, the book reads like an instruction manual for pastors, lay people, and Christian counselors.

The intersection of the two themes makes for an interesting read, although as an individual outside of the Christian counseling world, I found myself more interested in the lives of the women themselves than the lessons that they provide for counseling. Having said that . . . I think that the themes of soul care (which is comforting the suffering) and spiritual direction (which is confronting sin and leading people to a relationship with Christ) is applicable to all Christians—and the women profiled in this book are certainly instructive in this manner.

The authors did an excellent job of combating the notion that women should be silent and bury their talent. Amazingly, they did it without delving into the theological controversy surrounding the role of women in the Church. Rather, they chose to let the women’s stories speak for themselves.

Some of the women profiled in the book were wives of famous men (like Katherine Von Bora Luther, Idelette Calvin, Sarah Edwards, and Susannah Spurgeon) and fulfilled their ministries by being a strong support to their husbands. Other women were known for courageously speaking out against social evils (like Octavia Rogers and Laura Haviland). Still others had very strong evangelism and discipleship ministries in their own right—including teaching men. The examples of Susannah Wesley, Perpetua, and Argula Von Grumbrach come to mind.

This wasn’t a conscious theme of the book, but one of the things that struck me while reading the stories of the women profiled in Sacred Friendships was something that many of them had in common. Many of the women profiled were from prominent families and willfully renounced a lifestyle of privilege in order to identify with and serve the poor. I think that anyone reading Sacred Friendships should take some time to reflect on what these women might teach us today about living a Kingdom lifestyle.

Another positive aspect of Sacred Friendships is that the authors took great care not to just make it about celebrating the legacy of white Christian women. I was very pleased to see African American women, Hispanic women, and a Native American woman profiled. As a missionary, I was also delighted to see a profile on Ann Judson (a famous pioneer missionary to Burma).

The . . . book made for a compelling ride. I highly recommend this book to anybody and everybody.

To read a sample chapter please click here.

Tags: Book Review, Sacred Friendships, Women, Women's Studies

A Christmas Gift for Women

What do you buy for the woman who has everything?

Buy your wife, mom, sister, daughter, friend, or co-worker the gift of 52 incredible stories about 52 remarkable women of faith.

Sacred Friendships: Celebrating the Legacy of Women Heroes of the Faith encourages women to recognize that they are precious in God’s sight.

It empowers them to see how God has designed them for unique and special ministry.

To read a sample chapter, to view what others are saying, and to order your Christmas gift of Sacred Friendships (at 40% off), please visit here.

Sacred Friendships