A Conversation about Brian McLaren’s A New Kind of Christianity

Brian McLaren, I Accept Your Invitation

Welcome: You’re reading “Part 1” of my blog series responding to Brian McLaren’s book A New Kind of Christianity. Many people have engaged Brian’s thinking—most focusing on a systematic theology response (you can visit here to see a boatload of links). I’m thankful for their foundational responses. My focus is on “pastoral theology” or “practical theology.” As a pastor, counselor, and professor who equips pastors, I’m accepting Brian’s invitation to interact about the implications of his views for the everyday life of one-another Christianity—the “personal ministry of the Word.” My posts will be “periodic” so that I can intelligently, carefully, fairly, and thoroughly engage Brian’s thinking.

Brian’s Invitation

Throughout A New Kind of Christianity Brian invites conversation. He calls it an invitation for discussion not a “debate that creates hate” (p. 17). Using a sports’ analogy, Brian writes about his views, “They are offered as a gentle serve or lob; their primary goal is to start the interplay, to get things rolling, to invite reply” (p. 23). Brian also notes concerning those who may disagree with him that, “We welcome their charitable critique” (p. 25). In summary he says, “This quest must instead work more like a wedding proposal, an invitation. It must be about free conversation, not forced conversion” (p. 27).

To this generic invite, Brian adds a very specific invitation to pastors and counselors. When I read the following words, my ears perked up higher than Mr. Spock from Star Trek.

“This Greco-Roman framing may help explain why Christian pastors and counselors have such a hard time convincing Christians that God actually loves them” (p. 266).

Game On

Until reading that quote, my plan was to let the “theologians” converse with Brian. Of course, theology intimately relates to everyday life, so I should have been willing to join the conversation from the get-go. But when I read that quote, it was “Game on.” Brian had served up his “gentle lob” and I would volley back.

This is why the specific emphasis of my tennis match, er, conversation, with Brian focuses on:

What are the implications of A New Kind of Christianity for “the personal ministry of the Word”—pastoral counseling, one another ministry, soul care, spiritual direction, biblical counseling, spiritual formation, Christian counseling, pastoral care, spiritual friendship, personal discipleship, one another ministry?

Call it whatever you want. I’ve spent the past quarter-century in the trenches of pastoral ministry comforting grieving parishioners, counseling struggling Christians, equipping lay people, pastors, and professional Christian counselors for “the personal ministry of the Word.”

Brian’s “ten questions” deserve a “pastoral ministry response.” Game on.

A Few Ground Rules

Any good tennis match must have a few ground rules (even in post-modern tennis—sorry, I couldn’t resist!). Any healthy conversation ought to include some communication skills and relational competencies. I’ll “basically” let Brian set those ground rules.

Ground Rule # 1: Q and R (Sorta’)

Brian asks not for Q/A, but for Q/R. Q/A, of course, equals Question and Answer. Brian says he thinks most questions aren’t suited for a simple answer (I’m not sure any questions are suited for a simple answer…). So he prefers Q/R: Question and Response—stimulating, open-ended, conversations starters.

So here’s my intention:

To engage Brian in stimulating Q/R about how his ten questions relate to the personal ministry of the Word (pastoral care, small groups, personal discipleship, spiritual direction, biblical counseling, spiritual formation, spiritual friendship, soul care, one another ministry, etc.).

Now, that said, I will try to do not just what Brian said, but what Brian did. As much as Brian likes to focus on “responses,” his book is filled with his answers to his ten questions. That’s not a critique. It’s an observation. And…it set’s the ground rules fairly so that we’re both playing by the same norms. Yes, I will give my answers. And I’ll give them in the form I often tell my students, “This is my current best attempt to respond to this question.” So…please be charitable when you read not only “responses” from me, but also “answers.” I want to be like Brian.

Ground Rule # 2: “Charitable” (Faithful Are the Wounds of a Friend)

Brian repeatedly asks that people who respond to him do so charitably. I want to do that. In fact, I hope I do it more consistently than it felt like, to me, Brian did it.

I don’t have the time or space in this first post to share the many examples of Brian’s less-than-charitable interactions, but I will share a few samplers…to set the ground rules. Brian starts the book by illustrating his innocent speaking engagement being bothered by four people placing leaflets on car windshields talking about Brian as a “known heretic” (p. 1). He responds by asking the rhetorical question, “How did a mild-manner guy like me get into so much trouble” (p. 2)?

Now, now. Is that any way to start a friendly conversation? So…those who disagree or have different responses from Brian are illustrative of heresy hunters. Brian and those with views like him are innocent mild-manner guys. I know, it’s subtle (well, kind of). I know, Brian didn’t say everyone who disagrees is a “heresy hunter.” He didn’t say everyone who agrees with him is a good guy. But… come on… is that really an open-ended invitation to a charitable conversation?

But that’s topped by the page where Brian introduces the first five questions. The illustration now changes from parking lot heresy hunters to evil guards at a concentration camp (p. 31).

And who are these concentration camp guards? They are pastors (who disagree with Brian).

For Brian, the reason others are not on his quest is because they’ve been locked in a closet, cell, or concentration camp by guards (pastors) motivated by a desire to keep people under their control by making them fearful of the real world. These guards (pastors) are like Satan masquerading as an angel of light. “We see our guards not as guards at all, but as pleasant custodians in clerical robes or casual suits. They’ve been to graduate school (seminary) where many of them mastered the techniques of friendly manipulation…” (p. 31, parenthesis added).

Brian, come clean. That’s not a shout out, is it? That’s a bit of an introductory dig. We’ve been dissed, right? Is this really how we want to invite charitable conversation?

So…now…if I “respond” to Brian with any difference of opinion, that puts me in the camp (remember, he said “many of them” not a few) of those manipulative pastors who seek to control their congregations through fear (techniques learned in “graduate school”—where do pastors go for graduate school?—seminary). So I’m in a double-bind because I’ve pastored three churches and I now equip pastors at a seminary.

The examples could go on and on. These are simply two of Brian’s somewhat subtle illustrative introductions. Read the book and you’ll stumble upon a batch of specific less-than-charitable statements about those who disagree with Brian.

They don’t feel like a “gentle lob” in tennis. They come across like the gauntlet being laid down in a jousting match, like an En Garde” in fencing, like a “glove slap” in a duel, or like a Klingon Bat’leth line-up (you have to be a Star Trek fan).

I’m going to try to follow Brian’s ground rules of charitable conversation, but hopefully more as a friendly tennis match than as, “I challenge you to a duel!” Perhaps the imagery from Proverbs fits best, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend” (Proverbs 27:6). Some of Brian’s words are biting, wounding, sarcastic, in-your-face (yep, mild-mannered Brian). I’ll try to take them as faithful wounds from a friend (believing the best about Brian’s intentions). So…when I’m a tad playful, or sarcastic, or telling-it-like-it-is, please allow me the benefit of the doubt, also.

The Rest of the Story

In “Part 2,” I’ll further explain my focus—what I’m calling “the personal ministry of the Word.” In relationship to Brian’s ten questions, I’ll introduce two themes—the sufficiency of Scripture and progressive sanctification—as they relate to “biblical counseling” and “spiritual formation.”

Join the Conversation

What implications do you see for “the personal ministry of the Word” from Brian’s ten questions in A New Kind of Christianity?

The Heart of Addiction: A Biblical Perspective

Book Details

• Author: Mark E. Shaw

• Publisher: Focus Publishing (2008)

• Category: Biblical Counseling, Ministry, Church

Reviewed By: Bob Kellemen, Ph.D., LCPC, Author of Soul Physicians, Spiritual Friends, Beyond the Suffering, Sacred Friendships, and God’s Healing for Life’s Losses. Find all of Bob’s book reviews, blogs, and free resources at www.rpmministries.org.

Recommended: The Heart of Addiction is an increasingly rare book—one that addresses a specific life issue in a biblical, deep, practical, wise way. Mark Shaw combines the sufficiency of Scripture (theology for life) with the relevancy of Scripture (principles of progressive sanctification) in a way that offers hope and help to those experiencing habitual sin problems.

Review: God’s Way to Victory Over Habitual Sin

Dr. Mark Shaw brings an impressive résumé uniquely suited for a biblical approach to addictions. He holds biblical counseling certification with the National Association of Nouthetic Counselors (NANC), is a certified Master’s Level Addiction Professional (MLAP), as well as being a Sr. Pastor.

A Theology of Habitual Sin

Shaw eschews the terminology of “addiction” and seeks to get at the “heart of addiction” by conceptualizing it as a “life-dominating and life-devastating sin problem.” He sees “addiction” ultimately as a “worship disorder.” Further, Shaw takes issue with the common medical model approach that links “addictions” to the “disease model.”

That being said, Shaw is not simplistic in his approach. He recognizes that the body can respond to a sin problem so that over time actions associated with addiction become habitual and extremely difficult to overcome. This is a very useful “balance” missed by some.

In fact, he’s more than balanced. Shaw is comprehensive. He acknowledges that even after people have initially overcome the physical portion of addiction:

• Physically, they may still experience real cravings.

• Mentally, they may always battle to take their thoughts captive to Christ.

• Emotionally, they may struggle with feelings that will tempt them to want to return to the addiction for an escape.

• Spiritually, they may experience days when they wonder if God has forgotten them.

Rejecting the world’s definitions of addiction, Shaw then develops a concise biblical description. “Physical addiction occurs when you repeatedly satisfy a natural appetite and desire with a temporary pleasure until you become the servant of the temporary object of pleasure rather than its master” (p. 27). Addictions are not “compulsions” for Shaw, but rather “persistent habitual choices.”

Shaw wisely addresses habitual sin from the threefold biblical plotline of Creation, Fall, Redemption. Thus he embeds his theology of habitual sin in the context of God’s original design for the soul, sin’s depravity, and Christ’s final solution for and victory over all sin—including “addictive sins.”

Perhaps the most insightful and needful chapter is where Shaw addresses the physical components of addiction (Chapter 9). Unfortunately, many biblical counselors seem to skip or minimize this important area. Shaw not only tackles it, he nails it. He carefully traces what I might call a “theology of desire” (he calls it a theology of appetite). He assists readers to see the purpose for God-given desires, appetites, and affections, while also mapping where they can go sinfully wrong and how they can become habitually sinful.

There is much to appreciate in Shaw’s theological development. There were two areas, though, where Shaw could have engaged the theological issues a bit deeper. First, Shaw assumes that the “old nature” or “old man” still resides in the believer, which is a common enough belief. However, it would have been good in a book of this depth to address or acknowledge, at least briefly, the competing view. Namely, while the believer is not perfect this side of heaven, and while the believer does battle the world, the flesh, and the devil, the old nature or old man has truly been crucified with Christ. There are implicational differences that derive out of these two theological positions.

Second, while Shaw does develop a nuanced perspective on addiction, it might have been helpful for him to grapple with concepts such as “enslavement” and “mastery” (2 Peter 2:19). And the powerful imagery where Peter speaks of one who knows the Lord as Savior (2 Peter 2:20) as “a dog returns to its vomit” (2 Peter 2:22). Peter (and at times Paul) seems to use terms like these to indicate a depth of entanglement of sin akin to, but different from, “addiction.” I expected to read Shaw engaging passages like these, but did not. To his credit, he did address other complex issues such as lust of the flesh, lust of the eyes, the pride of life, and a seared conscience.

A Methodology of Victory Over Habitual Sin

Of course, great theology is truly great because it leads to relevant principles and practices for spiritual growth. Shaw so seamlessly blends “theology” and “methodology” that you can’t find where one ends and the other begins (which is very good). For instance, in Chapter 10, he discusses idolatry using the practical and pictorial imagery of the “go button” and the “stop button.” “Go button pushers” excessively satisfy their natural appetites, so they must guard their hearts when doing anything pleasurable. This is not radical abstention, but wise moderation always with the ultimate goal of glorifying God rather than loving pleasure.

A large part of Shaw’s “methodology” rightly focuses on renewed thinking leading to renewed emotions. Fortunately, in his skillful hands this is not some Christianized version of rational-emotive therapy. Rather, Shaw focuses his readers on renewing their thinking in the context of biblical reality as portrayed in Scripture.

He makes this very practical by addressing the common “motivating factor” for many addictive behaviors: escaping emotional pain. We don’t deny our emotional pain. Rather, for Shaw we take that emotional pain to Christ and to His Word. We find joy even when we can’t find relief.

This become even more practical in Chapter 12 where Shaw dissects specific emotions and prescribes biblical principles for addressing them in spiritually healthy ways. He describes how we can respond to bitterness, guilt, discontentment, loneliness, depression, and despair in ways that lead us toward God rather than toward god-substitutes.

The actual “methodology” portion of the book begins with Chapter 13 (but obviously starts sooner in Shaw’s skillful application of theology). Shaw uses the biblical motif of put off and put on. With some writers, this becomes rather “behavioralistic.” Not with Shaw. He talks about putting off the depths of sin, including sin’s denial and self-deception.

He then talks about putting on, again in a heart-centric way. Here (Chapter 17) Shaw again highlights renewing the mind. He avoids generic language, instead focusing on idiosyncratic renewal, the battle for the mind, how to fight cravings, and how to resist the devil’s temptation. He then moves toward putting on right actions—based upon renewed beliefs.

Thus Shaw includes specific chapters on putting off and putting on beliefs, actions, and emotions. He writes specifically about putting off sinful idols of the heart. However, this excellent work could have benefitted from specific sections about putting on a renewed, grace-oriented, love relationship with God in Christ. It certainly was implied. And it certainly is contained in the various “heart prayers” at the end of each chapter. However, specific chapters on returning to God “the Spring of Living Water” would seem central in a book on putting off sinful addictions and putting on ongoing spiritual affections. Since addiction is a “worship disorder,” I would have liked to have seen more on moving from the idolatry of addiction to the worship of God through putting on renewed relational/spiritual affections, passions, and desires. It’s there…it just could have been highlighted more.

Shaw concludes with Appendixes A to K which each provide very practical tools. Taken together, these seventeen chapters and eleven appendixes provide a wealth of authoritative, relevant wisdom. The Heart of Addiction: A Biblical Perspective will prove extremely helpful for pastors, counselors, and spiritual friends, and for the individual seeking ongoing victory over habituated sin.

The Anatomy of Anxiety

Part 38: Emotions 911

Note: For previous posts in this blog series, visit: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26,  27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, and 37.

Big Idea: Does worry, doubt, or fear get the best of you sometimes? Do you wonder where anxiety comes from and how to defeat it in your life and the lives of those you love? Then we need a biblical anatomy of anxiety. We need God’s prescription for victory over anxiety.

Note: Today’s blog post is excerpted from my book Soul Physicians. You can visit here to learn more about Soul Physicians and to read a free sample chapter.

Mood Disorder: Emotions 911

Emotions and “moods” are not innately bad at all. Our struggle with negative emotions and “bad moods” is yet another result of our fall into sin. Emotionally, we’ve moved from “mood order” to “mood disorder.”

All disorder ultimately arises from a state of disconnection. Separated from the life of God, we demand that one another become like gods. When our fellow finite beings fail us, then we face personal dis-integration. We’re shamefully exposed as false trusters. The emotional result is disordered moods:

• My inability to accurately sense and experience my own inner and outer world and my failure to maintain a healthy self-awareness of my prevailing emotional mood state(s).

• My inability to accurately read my emotional thermostat so that I inaccurately gauge the relational temperature outside and my personal temperature inside.

• My inability to respond to my inner and outer world courageously, lovingly, and wisely.

In mood order, we perceive unpleasant or distressful moods as messages sent from the soul to the body (from the mind to the brain). The message is communicating: “Necessary changes requested. Please reply ASAP! Thank you.” The symptom (the distressed mood) is thus seen as a potential gift. It is like the warning light in our cars reminding us to “check under the hood.”

In mood disorder, we misperceive our distressed mood and respond in non-God ways. We attempt to manage our misperceived moods self-sufficiently.

Mood Reorder: Emotions 411

Satan wants our moods to overwhelm us, control us, direct us away from God. Or, at least he wants us to respond to them by entering survival mode. Overwhelming moods lead to survival mode.

Jesus came to give us life, and that abundantly. “Abundant” means beyond what is necessary, surplus, left over, greatly enlarged. It is used of the abundance left over after the feeding of the 5,000. Spoiling! Jesus came to spoil us. Resurrection power allows us to do more than survive. We can thrive (2 Corinthians 1:3-11; Philippians 3:7-15). We can move from anger to love, from despair to hope, and from fear to faith. Resurrection power offers fresh, creative energy, and a reawakening of courage—of mood. As Paul Tournier insightfully describes it:

The person matures, develops, becomes more creative, not because of the deprivation in itself, but through his own active response to misfortune, through the struggle to come to terms with it and morally to overcome it—even if in spite of everything there is not cure . . . Events give us pain or joy, but our growth is determined by our personal response to both, by our inner attitude (Tournier, Creative Suffering, pp. 28-29).

In reordered, redeemed moods, intense moods lead to a thriving mode.

We must recognize how marvelous moods can be when managed in Christ and recognize how pernicious they can be when mismanaged under Satan. Appreciate your moods as God-given sources of instant insight into your inner and outer world. Enjoy the usefulness of reordered moods in a disjointed world, which include:

• My God-given ability to become aware of my moods, whether pleasant or unpleasant, and to accept that I am experiencing that mood.

• My God-given ability to face and feel whatever mood I am experiencing, allowing it to grant me insight into my inner self and my external situation.

• My God-given ability to bring rationality to my emotionality by coming to understand the sources of my moods and my resources to manage my moods (responding to my inner and outer world wisely).

• My God-given ability to bring volitionality to my emotionality by choosing how I will manage my moods instead of allowing them to manage me (responding to my inner and outer world courageously).

• My God-given ability to bring relationality to my emotionality by allowing my moods to motivate me toward deeper connection or reconnection with God, others, and myself (responding to my inner and outer world lovingly).

Keeping It Real

On a scale of 1-to-10, how well do you manage your moods?

The Rest of the Story

In our next post, we’ll take an emotional intelligence test to measure our EQ: emotional quotient.

Join the Conversation

Do you agree or disagree that emotions and moods are gifts of God?

The Anatomy of Anxiety

Part 37: Emotions 411–Emotional Intelligence

Note: For previous posts in this blog series, visit: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26,  27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, and 36.

Big Idea: Does worry, doubt, or fear get the best of you sometimes? Do you wonder where anxiety comes from and how to defeat it in your life and the lives of those you love? Then we need a biblical anatomy of anxiety. We need God’s prescription for victory over anxiety.

Note: Today’s blog post is excerpted from my book Soul Physicians. You can visit here to learn more about Soul Physicians and to read a free sample chapter.

How We Relate, Think, Act, and Feel

Obviously, our emotions are useful, beneficial, and very good. Just as obvious, our emotions often are hurtful, harmful, very bad. We are to be angry, but not sinfully so. Anger can be good, it can be evil. So it is with all emotions and moods. Designed for mood order, we experience mood disorders, and can experience reordered moods.

We tend to develop rather patterned approaches to life. Relationally, we cling to our Creator or to created realities—pure or impure affections, lovers of the soul or idols of the heart. We worship God our Spring of Living Water or we dig broken cisterns that can hold no water. We enjoy intimacy with Christ or we weary ourselves pursuing false lovers.

Rationally, we develop mindsets that persist over time. Either we direct our lives according to the mindset of the Spirit or we pilot our lives off course according to the mindset of the flesh. Either we guide our lives along the narrow path of wisdom or along the broad road of foolishness.

Volitionally, we develop purposeful pathways of intentional interacting. We trod a path toward what we perceive will satisfy the hunger of our heart. We habituate ourselves either toward willing God’s will or willing our own will. “Your will be done,” or “My will be done.”

Emotions are no exception. We not only experience instantaneous emotional responses, we also encounter ongoing mood states.

Emotions and Moods

A mood is a background feeling or emotional state that persists over time. It is less intense and longer lasting than emotions. My mood is my prevailing tone or coloring, my state of mind, frame of mind. In a sense, it is my emotional outlook that occurs both at a particular time and settles deep inside me over time.

Moods are the intersection of our emotional/feeling responses and our rational attitude/perceptions. My mood reacts both to the external events of my life and to the internal longings, images, ideas, goals, and actions of my soul.

Created by God, moods, like emotions, were a very good thing. God intricately fashioned us to experience a variety of positive emotional states, the most optimal moods. Our moods and emotions contain vital signals of readiness not simply for action, but for interaction, and rest from interaction. They signal when we need to interact and when we need to come apart (before we fall apart). Jesus identified within himself moods that led him to seek solitude (Mark 1:45; Luke 5:16) and that led him to engage in intimate interaction (Luke 5:15; Mark 3:1-6).

Our moods guide us to mobilize our resources for wise relating. They work with our self-awareness so that we can become attentive to our emotional states as our inner person interacts with our outer world. Moods motivate, or better, moods jolt us into awareness, promote pondering, and motivate us toward appropriate interaction.

Taken together, we can define mood order as:

• My God-given ability to feel my own feelings, to sense my own life experiences, and to become self-aware of my prevailing emotional mood state(s).

• My God-given thermostat that quickly gauges the relational temperature outside and my personal temperature inside.

• My God-given capacity to courageously, lovingly, and wisely respond to my inner and outer world. I perceive what I feel and I choose how I respond.

In the Beginning…Moods

What was the mood process like for Adam and Eve? All order ultimately arises from connection. So when Adam felt happiness and joy in the presence of Eve, his entire being became focused on connecting, attaching. “I like being with her. I want to be with her. When we are together, I am outrageously happy.”

Sinless Adam and Eve also could have experienced legitimate sadness—a sadness due to absence that impelled them to reconnect. Adam is working in one part of the Garden. Eve in another. Happy in her work, but aware of a growing sense of sadness, a developing mood of aloneness, Eve stops. She ponders. She recognizes the source—she misses her hubby. She runs to him, throws her arms around him, kisses him impetuously. “Just wanted you to know how much I missed you!” Separation, whether physical or psychological, is a basic cause of human sadness. Sadness provides a driving force to restore attachment, in the same way that hunger impels us to eat.

Keeping It Real

What “mood” are you in right now? How could you apply today’s biblical principles of “mood order” to better understand and manage your mood?

The Rest of the Story

It would be nice if we could stop at “mood order.” However, the Bible tells us and we all experience “mood disorder.” Why? What can we do about our disordered moods and emotions? And how can we “reorder our moods”? How can we manage our moods? Our next post begins addresses these vital personal issues.

Join the Conversation

Why did God create us with emotions? 

Soul Physicians

The Anatomy of Anxiety

Part 36: Emotions 101

Note: For previous posts in this blog series, visit: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26,  27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, and 35.

Big Idea: Does worry, doubt, or fear get the best of you sometimes? Do you wonder where anxiety comes from and how to defeat it in your life and the lives of those you love? Then we need a biblical anatomy of anxiety. We need God’s prescription for victory over anxiety.

Note: Today’s blog post is excerpted from my book Soul Physicians. You can visit here to learn more about Soul Physicians and to read a free sample chapter.

Emotion by God

Before we can explore how to renew our emotions as we defeat anxiety, we must gain a biblical perspective on our emotions. What does the Bible say about emotions and how does that contrast with the world’s way?

It’s so typical that it has become trite, “How do you feel about that?” We even mock it, “I feel your pain.”

We’re awash in an emotionally shallow society. Do we throw the baby out with the bath water? Or do we realize the world’s counterfeit and choose God’s real deal, the genuine article?

The real deal is biblical emotionality. Like our Creator, we experience life deeply and all of our feelings are in-relationship-to-God feelings.

Our emotions reveal our deepest questions about God. They vocalize the inner working of our souls. Listen to and ponder your emotions in order to discern what your heart is doing with God and others. Emotions are a voice that can tell us how we are dealing with a fallen, hurtful world. Emotions force open the stuck window of our soul, compelling us to face how we are facing life.

Emotions are God-given. They are not satanic. Adam had them before the Fall. God has them. Christ has them. In and of themselves, they are not sinful. They are beneficial, and yes, even beautiful.

The Psalmist understood this. In the classic passage describing God’s utmost care in creating us, Psalm 139, emotionality is the one aspect of our inner personality specifically referenced. “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb” (Psalm 139:13). “Inmost being” is kidneys. In Psalm 73:21 and Proverbs 23:16 the kidneys are the place of sorrow and rejoicing, respectively.

In the Ancient Near East, the kidneys were seen as prompting or urging people to action by aroused emotions. The Semitic languages used terms for kidneys, reins, stomach, bowels, and womb to describe the feeling states. As we literally experience and feel an emotion in our physical being, so we feel an emotion in our psychological being. That’s why we say things like, “I have butterflies in my stomach.” God created your inmost being, your kidneys, your emotions.

Emotional Experiencing: Emotional Reaction

What are emotions? Emotions are our God-given capacity to experience our world and to subjectively respond to those experiences.

This capacity includes the ability to internally react and experience a full-range of both positive (pleasant) and negative (painful) inner feelings.

The very root of the word emotion is motere, the Latin verb “to move,” plus the prefix “e” meaning “to move away.” This suggests that a tendency to act is implicit in every emotion. All emotions are, in essence, impulses to react, the instant plans for handling life that God has instilled in us. God designed our emotions to put us in motion. They represent a quick response that motivates action—emotions signal the mind to go into high gear.

Emotions play a crucial editorial role that force us to do a double-check, to look outward and inward. They are our “psychological sentinel” that connect us to our inner and outer world.

Once connected, then we react to our external and internal world. What we desire, think, and choose (our inner world) determines our emotional reaction to our external situation (our outer world). What we believe (rational direction) about what satisfies our longing for relationship (relational motivation) provides the direction we choose to pursue (volitional interaction) and determines our experiential response (emotional reaction) to our world.

Understanding Your Emotions

Consider a basic formula for understanding emotions: E.S. + I.P. = E.R.

Our External Situation plus our Internal Perception leads to our Emotional Response. Picture it like this.

Understanding Our Emotional Responses

   External Situation + Internal Perception  = Emotional Response

• Negative Action            +  Biblical Belief            = Legitimate Painful Emotion (Sorrow, Sadness, etc.)

• Negative Action            + Unbiblical Belief        = Illegitimate Painful Emotion (Hatred, Despair, etc.)

• Positive Action              + Biblical Belief            = Legitimate Positive Emotion (Joy, Peace, etc.)

• Positive Action              + Unbiblical Belief        = Illegitimate Positive Emotion (Pride, Self- Sufficiency, etc.) 

Your boss says to you, “You blew it.” Your emotions react to this external event and to your internal images and ideas. What if you believe, “I must have my boss’s approval”? Then you will respond with illegitimate negative emotions such as anger, depression, hopelessness, or hatred.

If, on the other hand, you believe that “I would like my boss’s approval, but I know that I am accepted by God,” then you will respond with legitimate painful emotions such as sorrow, disappointment, or remorse (if you were truly in the wrong).

The key to our emotional reaction is our belief or perception about the meaning behind the event. Thus, events determine whether our emotions are pleasant or painful, while longings, beliefs, and goals determine whether our emotional reaction is holy or sinful.

Keeping It Real

Ponder a recent emotionally intense situation. Use the ES + IP + ER “formula” to trace the tracks of your emotional response.

The Rest of the Story

Why did God even create us with emotions if they seem to cause such a mess! How does God intend for us to manage our moods? In our upcoming blog posts we’ll address these relevant questions.

Join the Conversation

Why do you think many Christians, churches, and biblical counselors throw the emotional baby out with the bathwater and make emotions “the black sheep” of the image bearing family?

Review of CrossTalk: Where Life & Scripture Meet

• Author: Michael R. Emlet

• Publisher: New Growth Press (2009)

• Category: Biblical Counseling, Christian Living, Spiritual Friendship

Reviewed By: Bob Kellemen, Ph.D., LCPC, Author of Soul Physicians, Spiritual Friends, Beyond the Suffering, Sacred Friendships, and God’s Healing for Life’s Losses. Find all of Bob’s book reviews, blogs, and free resources at RPM Ministries.

Recommended: Michael Emlet’s CrossTalk offers one of the most robust approaches yet to the biblical counseling process of relating the scriptural narrative to a person’s life story. Its Christ-centered, comprehensive, and compassionate approach powerfully and practically equips readers for the personal ministry of the Word.

Review: Relating Truth to Life

The publishers aptly promote CrossTalk with the phrase, “An antidote to ‘take two verses and call me in the morning.’” For far too long, some segments of current pastoral ministry and modern biblical counseling have practiced the idea that there is a simplistic one-verse, one-problem, one-solution method to every counseling and relationship issue.

Michael Emlet’s training as a family physician and as a seminary professor seamlessly equips him to teach a much more robust approach to changing lives with Christ’s changeless truth. In CrossTalk, he investigates the intersection of biblical truth and people’s lives by exploring how we understand people biblically and how we use the Bible in biblical counseling.

Speaking the Truth in Love

We have many books about how to interpret the Bible, but few address the topic of how to relate truth to life—how to connect Scripture to struggles. Or, if they do, they focus on the pulpit ministry of the Word—preaching and teaching, and not on the personal ministry of the Word—biblical counseling, one another spiritual friendship, and personal spiritual direction.

Emlet teaches us how to look at life experiences through biblical lenses. His focus is on the person and the passage, on how to read the Bible and how to “read” people biblically. You might say that he understands that hybrid Christians run on truth and love. CrossTalk promotes a gospel-centered, personally relevant use of Scripture in personal ministry. “It describes a way to use the Scriptures to help people to grow to love God and others more fully in the midst of their complex daily lives” (p. 4).

The Story of Suffering and Sin

CrossTalk also counters another all-too-frequent error in modern biblical ministry—dealing with sin but minimizing issues of suffering caused by sin. Historically, the church has always helped hardened (sinning) and hurting (suffering) people. Soul care through sustaining and healing has always related God’s hope to suffering people, while spiritual direction has always related Christ’s grace to people’s besetting sins. Emlet wisely continues this biblical, historical practice of Christ-centered, comprehensive, and compassionate biblical counseling.

Emlet connects the Bible to life—all of life in all its complexity. He does so by focusing on the “story”—the story of Scripture and the stories of people’s lives. CrossTalk equips readers to make meaningful connections between the two.

Connecting the Bible to Life

While emphasizing the connection between truth and life, Emlet refuses to make the process simplistic. He begins by explaining the nature of the Bible—what it is not and what it is. He correctly summarizes the Bible as a CFR Narrative—the story of Creation, Fall, and Redemption with a Christ-centered focused of helping people to become Christlike.

With this foundational understanding in place, Emlet begins to establish implications for reading and using the Bible. Rather than imagining that personal ministry involves finding the “right passage” for the “right problem” for the “right person,” truly biblical ministry thinks theologically about relationality.

 Creation: Who are we? What makes us tick? (People)

 Fall: What went wrong? Why is the world such a mess? (Problems)

 Redemption: What’s the remedy? How do people change? (Solutions)

Biblical counseling is more than looking for one verse for one problem. It is more than looking for theological categories to relate to life issues. It is exploring how a person’s dominant story (approach to life) intersects with God’s Christ-centered Creation, Fall, Redemption story so that people respond to suffering and sin in such a way that Christ is glorified as they become more Christlike.

Connecting the Stories

In simplistic biblical counseling, we connect the dots. We connect a problem to a passage or a principle.

In robust, rich, relational biblical counseling, we connect the stories. We connect a person and his/her dominant life story of suffering and sin to God’s redemptive meta-story of grace.

Emlet first offers some general principles for applying his approach to personal ministry. These seem a tad brief while at the same time being a tad technical—not as full of “real and raw life” as the preceding buildup. However, Emlet subsequently takes an in-depth look at this model, thus breathing life into the skeletal outline. He offers insightful questions for saints, sufferers, sinners, and Scripture which serve as foundations for relating truth to life.

Even more helpfully, CrossTalk introduces Tom’s story and Natalie’s story. He teaches readers how to read the person, how to connect the person to the Old Testament narrative, and how to connect the person to the New Testament narrative.

We “read” a saint’s story by looking for marks of grace. Where is the person living true to his identify as a child of God?

We read a sufferer’s story by pondering what circumstances impact his or her struggles. Here Emlet looks predominantly at “level one suffering”—what is happening to the sufferer, and less at “level two suffering”—what is happening in the sufferer. An in-depth look at such internal suffering could have added more richness to this overall valuable approach.

We also read the story of sinning by probing what desires (relational), thoughts (rational), emotions (emotional), and actions (volitional) are out of line with kingdom values and therefore compete with the biblical story. Here Emlet models a thoroughly comprehensive approach to spiritual direction through reconciling and guiding.

Perhaps the most powerful and practical chapters are the two (chapters 9 and 10) in which Emlet demonstrates how to use an Old Testament and a New Testament passage with Tom and with Natalie. Talk about rich! The dialogues of applying scriptural narratives to life narratives are worth the proverbial price of the book. And, quite importantly, Emlet emphasizes that once we understand the grand biblical narrative and the person’s dominant life narrative, there are a host of potentially applicable intersecting passages. He offers samplers to whet our appetite and to model what it looks like in “real life.”

While the purpose of CrossTalk was not to focus on the “relational element” in biblical counseling (no one book can cover everything), Emlet’s approach is clearly relational. He emphasizes that ongoing relationship is the context for personal ministry and that multiple conversations over time provide a natural framework to relate the biblical story to a person’s dominant life story. Growth happens in community.

A Watershed Book

CrossTalk is one of those watershed books. It has the potential to help move the modern biblical counseling movement into the next generation. Its dynamic incorporation of truth and life in the context of scriptural and life narratives is a rare blend. Everyone interesting in understanding where life and Scripture meet should read and apply CrossTalk.

CrossTalk

The Anatomy of Anxiety

Part 35: A “Can Do” Spirit

Note: For previous posts in this blog series, visit: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26,  27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, and 34.

Big Idea: Does worry, doubt, or fear get the best of you sometimes? Do you wonder where anxiety comes from and how to defeat it in your life and the lives of those you love? Then we need a biblical anatomy of anxiety. We need God’s prescription for victory over anxiety.

Can Do…In Christ

It’s in the context of overcoming anxiety that Paul penned the famous words of encouragement, “I can do everything through him who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:13). Paul cultivated a “Can Do” spirit.

However, it is nothing like modern “self-help,” or “positive thinking,” or “possibility thinking.” That’s all founded on a self-sufficient basis. Paul’s “Can Do” spirit is based upon who he is in and through Christ, not upon who he is in himself—in his own effort, strength, or power.

What happens when the reality of my fear rams smack into the reality of Christ’s Word? My fear says, “I can’t do that!” Christ’s Word says, “You can do all things through Me.”

1. Face Your Fear by Faith to Face Down Your Fear by Grace

Some Christians would say, “Ignore your fears! Just obey Christ!” That’s not faith; that’s faking. Others might say, “Sure, admit your fear and then immediately defeat it.” That sounds so close to the truth, but it lacks reality (and compassion).

We have to avoid two extremes. Don’t fake it—don’t pretend your emotions don’t exist. Don’t flood—if you’ve been terrified for years, it’s normally unwise to tackle your greatest fear all in one shot, head on.

Instead, face fears by faith—wisely, and often incrementally, “stand and stay.” Having prepared wisely (see all the previous posts), by faith stay in the presence of what you fear.

So you start giving that speech, and your heart starts racing. Rather than focusing all your attention on your bodily reactions, courageously force yourself to continue. “Okay, I’m starting to get nervous. I wonder if they can tell. I’ll take a deep breath, trust that God is calling and equipping me, get back to my notes, and share my passion with passion!”

2. Turn Setbacks Into Comebacks

Most victories in life come with two steps forward and one step backwards. Perhaps you gave that speech and you bombed. You know it. Your friends are kind, but when you ask them for honest feedback, they share that you did seem to let your fear get the best of you some.

Victory over anxiety is not a neat, nice, linear process. God’s promise that we can do all things through Christ is not a guarantee that we’ll never face obstacles. Turn setbacks into comebacks. Realize that you can plateau and then climb higher. Be willing to take risks—to fight again, to try again.

3. Stir Up the Gift of God: Cultivate Courage

In the Body of Christ, we need to stir one another up (Hebrews 10:24-25). We also need to stir ourselves up (2 Timothy 1:6-7).

Of course, part of the key in serving Christ is knowing what God has called you to. When Paul says He can do all things through Christ—the “all things” were everything Paul was called and equipped to do. Faith does not mean committing ourselves to things we have no calling, training, experience, or expertise in. Ask others to help you to identify your strengths.

Once you’ve identified your strength and gained the equipping necessary, then when fear strikes, you’re ready. Remind yourself who you are in Christ. “I am an MVP in Christ. I have a spirit of power, love and wisdom. I don’t have a spirit of timidity. I am gifted at _______. I can do all things God calls me to do in and through Christ.”

Stirring up the gift of God includes cultivating courage. The French word for courage is Coeur which means “heart.” That’s where we gain phrases such as, “take heart, have heart, brave hearted, lion hearted, and strong of heart.”

Courage is the ability to move forward and toward what frightens me rather than moving away and avoiding it. It’s the opposite of being faint of heart.

This is vital because sometimes we mistakenly think, “If I feel fearful, that means I am fearful.” No. The truth is, “If I feel fearful and face down my fear, I am not faint of heart, but brave of heart.”

Keeping It Real

Where is God calling you to stir up the gift of God and face down your fear?

The Rest of the Story

We’ve looked at spiritual, relational, social, mental, and volitional (motivational and behavioral) healing for anxiety. Next we probe emotional healing for anxiety. We’ll learn together how to renew our emotions through the acrostic of: AWARE.

Join the Conversation

By God’s grace, what setback will you turn into a comeback?

Life’s 7 Ultimate Questions

In ministry, when people ask you deep questions, where do you turn for ultimate answers?

During my next How to Care Like Christ seminar (see below for details), we’ll explore together how to change lives with Christ’s changeless truth.

We’ll discover scriptural answers to life’s seven ultimate questions:

1. What is truth? Where do I find answers?

2. Who is God? Can I know Him personally?

3. Who am I? What makes people tick?

4. What went wrong? Why do we do the things we do?

5. Can people change? How do people change?

6. What’s my purpose? How does my future destiny impact my present reality?

7. How can I help? How can I change lives?

Learn More About How to Care Like Christ

*Date: Saturday, January 23, 2010

*Time: 9:00-4:00 (Registration and Continental Breakfast Begins at 8:30)

*Place: Douglas Memorial Community Church, 1325 Madison Ave, Baltimore, MD 21217. Phone: 410-523-1700

*Online Information: Visit the church web site for more information.

Cost: $25.00. Cost includes continental breakfast, snacks, lunch, complete set of seminar notes, and full-day seminar.

To Register

You have several registration and payment options:

1. Register online and pay by credit card here.

2. Call Douglas Memorial Community Church at 410-523-1700 to register and pay by check.

3. Mail a check to the church address (see above).

4. Contact Minister Vivian Ferebee at: vferebee@douglaschurch.org, 410-523-1700, ext. 17.

5. Pay by cash in person the day of the seminar.

Space is limited, please be sure to register early.

Be Equipped for One Another Ministry

Do you care deeply, but sometimes struggle to know how to care like Christ?

*Find God’s Answers to Life’s Seven Ultimate Questions: Learn how to relate Christ’s changeless truth to our changing times.

*Learn how to understand people biblically: Discover how God designed us to live, love, and relate.

*Learn how to diagnose problems scripturally: Uncover what went wrong—why do we do the things we do?

*Learn how to prescribe God’s solutions effectively: Apply Christ’s answers for our daily life problems.

*Learn how to weep with those who weep: Offer sustaining care for discouraged people—empathize with people.

*Learn how to give hope to the hurting: Offer healing comfort for suffering people—encourage people as you relate God’s truth to daily life.

*Learn how to be a dispenser of grace: Offer reconciling care-fronting for sinning people—enlighten people as you speak the truth in love.

*Learn how to disciple, coach, and mentor: Offer guiding counsel for growing people—empower people to tap into Christ’s resurrection power. 

The Anatomy of Anxiety

Part 34: God’s Victory Action Plan

Note: For previous posts in this blog series, visit: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26,  27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and 33.

Big Idea: Does worry, doubt, or fear get the best of you sometimes? Do you wonder where anxiety comes from and how to defeat it in your life and the lives of those you love? Then we need a biblical anatomy of anxiety. We need God’s prescription for victory over anxiety.

Practice What You Preach

We could think of Paul’s counsel in Philippians 4:1-9 as God’s Victory Action Plan. It includes, as we’ve seen already in previous posts:

*People: “Therefore my brothers…” (Phil. 4:1-3). Overcoming anxiety takes a church. Feeling fearful; connect with others.

*Praise: “Rejoice in the Lord…” (Phil. 4:4-5). Overcoming anxiety takes enjoying God as your Guardian. Feeling fearful; commune with Christ.

*Prayer: “By prayer and petition…” (Phil. 4:6). Overcoming anxiety takes humble, submissive, specific, trusting prayer. Feeling fearful; cling to Christ.

*Perspective: “Guard hearts/minds…think on these things…” (Phil. 4:7-8). Overcoming anxiety takes renewing our minds. Feeling fearful; put off lies and put on truth.

So, victory over anxiety is relational/social—people. It is relational/spiritual—praising God and praying to God. It is rational—renewing our ideas and images.

Paul’s comprehensive victory action plan does not stop there. It’s also “volitional”—it involves our will. It involves choosing to act courageously. Paul continues:

*Practice: “Put into practice…” “The things you have heard me say; do” (Phil 4:9). Overcoming anxiety requires that we practice what we preach. Feeling fearful; act!

Nike: “Just Do It!”

Now, simply saying to a person immersed in fear, “Just face your fear!” is like our previous post of Bob Newhart saying, “Just stop it!” That said, there does come a time when we have to “Nike”—“Just do it!” In conjunction with the process of all the previous posts (we’re up to 34 already!), we do need to take action.

In fact, recall our original biblical model of anxiety as “stuck vigilance.” If anxiety is vigilance gone wild, if it is scanning and scanning and standing and standing, without taking a stand, then most certainly there comes a time when the “Nike” approach is called for. To apply the “Nike” approach, we’ll use another major modern phobia—giving a speech—as our sample application.

1. Replace Inaction with Reasonable Actions

To defeat anxiety we must replace inaction with action. We must replace scanning and fleeing with scanning and fighting—fighting back against our fears.

If you’re worried about public speaking, and if you get feedback that you’re not the world’s greatest public speaker, then do something about it. Take a speech class. Get a speech coach. Read some books, blogs, and articles on public speaking.

If you’re worried about a speech, and you’ve had a history of successful speakers, then take appropriate preparations: research well, craft a good outline, create compelling illustrations, practice your speech, get feedback. Put don’t prepare compulsively or in a perfectionistic manner (that simply feeds the fear).

2. Face Events Rather Than Avoiding Them

Nothing empowers fear more than fleeing a fearful event. It becomes habitual. You’ve prepared your speech. You’ve received feedback. Now it’s a day away and you’re tempted to call in sick, play hooky, or make an excuse why you can’t deliver your speech.

What do you do? Ask others to come along side to encourage you. Praise and pray. Remind yourself that you are speaking to an audience of One—God. Remind yourself that God wants you to keep your commitments. Remind yourself that you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you. Implement good problem solving skills. Relax. Focus on your strengths.

If you’ve had ongoing battles with fears of public speaking and you’ve never done it, or haven’t done it in years, then part of facing events rather than avoiding them is slowly building up to giving speeches. Share a five-minute devotional with your family. Give a trial speech in front of friends. Then give a five-minute talk to your small group. Then share a fifteen-minute lesson in Sunday school….

Follow manageable steps. Then make a plan to follow through to complete exposure to what you fear. Build up and follow through.

Anyone reading this who loves public speaking might be thinking, “What babies! Giving a speech is a breeze and a blast!”

But you know what, we all have some “issue” we dread. Some of the most powerful public speakers I’ve ever known have been terrified ever to talk to their teenage daughter about emotional issues. So, let’s all be honest. None of us are totally fearless. None of us are free of all stress, worry, anxiety, fears, and phobias.

Keeping It Real

Honestly ponder some area of fear, worry, anxiety, or phobia that you have been avoiding. What is it? Confronting your husband? Changing careers? Sharing your failures with co-workers? Not being seen as perfect? Whatever it is, how could you apply today’s post to your life?

The Rest of the Story

We often think about renewing our minds. The Bible also teaches us how to renew our actions. In our next post we’ll learn how to renew our will so that we can apply the truth that “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Phil. 4:13).

Join the Conversation

What examples come to mind of people who are real “tough guys” and “macho” in some areas, but somewhat secretly fearful in other areas of life and relationships?

The Anatomy of Anxiety

Part 33: The Weapons of Our Warfare

Note: For previous posts in this blog series, visit: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26,  27, 28, 29, 30, 31, and 32.

Big Idea: Does worry, doubt, or fear get the best of you sometimes? Do you wonder where anxiety comes from and how to defeat it in your life and the lives of those you love? Then we need a biblical anatomy of anxiety. We need God’s prescription for victory over anxiety.

Renewing Your Mind: Images, Pictures, and Imagination

In our previous post, we applied five wisdom principles for renewing our ideas, thoughts, and beliefs. Today we follow four wisdom principles for renewing our images: face irrational images, choose realistic images, take the sting out of false images, and cast down deceitful images. We’ll use a common phobia to illustrate the process: going to the dentist.

1. Face Irrational Images

When fear begins to grow into a full-blown phobia, our tendency is to block out or even to try to blot out our thinking. However, our images just go underground, they don’t disappear or dissipate. So, though it may seem like the opposite of what we might want to do, the best thing to do is to specify the fearful images flooding your mind.

“If I take this to its furthest extreme, I have this irrational fear that I will gag when they put the instruments down my mouth. I picture my tooth ripping out and bleeding profusely, and maybe even bleeding to death.”

2. Choose Realistic Images

Of course, it won’t help much to keep picturing those extreme images. So you must bring reality to bear.

“I’m going to picture reality. My dentist is a trained, caring professional. She’s done this procedure 1000s of times. She gently scrapes my teeth, not yanks them. She uses modern tools, not archaic ones.”

3. Take the Sting Out of False Images

Asking “so what” and “what if” are additional ways to take the sting out of false images.

“Okay, so what if? What if I passed out when they were cleaning my teeth? Dental phobias are the first or second most common phobias. I’m not the only one who might get all worked up. They have smelling salt. Worst case, I could go to “Gentle Dental” and be basically in a light sleep the whole time. But I don’t need to. I can face this.”

4. Cast Down Deceitful Images

Anxiety is warfare. It is a decision to cling to God our Guardian (trust and obey) and then to guard others (tend and befriend). It is a decision not to self-protect and not to let others down. It’s a decision to see God as Sentinel Who empowers us to be on sentinel duty for Him and others.

Paul uses warfare imagery in 2 Corinthians 10:3-7. He teaches us not to wage war as the world does. Instead, he reminds us that we have divine power to demolish strongholds, arguments, and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God. God equips us with the weapons to take captive every thought and image to make them obedient to Christ.

So, as you face your fear, get mad at your fear. Reject it. Cast it down. Call it what it is—sinful refusal to trust God. Recognize it as a deeply embedded choice to believe lies about reality.

The spirit of timidity that Paul speaks of in 2 Timothy 1:5-7, is always accompanied by images of our self as a little boy, a little girl, a baby, childish, fearful, in the fetal position.

Picture yourself smacking down those two-faced, false, deceitful, lying, double-dealing, double-minded images. Pin them to the mat. Manhandle them. Replace them with boldness. See your self armed in Christ, putting on the full armor of God. Picture yourself marching into the dentist’s office “armed to the teeth” (pun intended).

Keeping It Real

Ponder a fear you face. Apply to that fear the four wisdom principles of renewing your images.

The Rest of the Story

Having looked at our relational and rational victory over anxiety, next we’ll explore our volitional victory over anxiety. How do we choose courageously when fear stalks and anxiety strikes?

Join the Conversation

Why do we so seldom talk about images and the imagination in Christian circles?