Putting Your Past in Its Place

Book Details

• Author: Stephen Viars, D.Min.

• Publisher: Harvest House (February 2011) (248 Pages)

• Category: Biblical Counseling, Christian Living

• ISBN: 978-0-7369-2739-0

• Retail Price: $12.99

• Reviewer: Bob Kellemen

Biblical “Balance”

Christians who attempt to address the crucial topic of the past tend toward extremes. At times, we fall into the trap of “the past is everything” mindset. We blame our past and use it as an excuse. At other times, we careen to the opposite extreme of “the past is nothing.” We rip out of context and misapply Paul’s words about forgetting the things which are behind (Philippians 3:1-15).

In Putting Your Past in Its Place, Pastor Steve Viars avoids both extremes. As he notes:

“Both extremes are problematic for students of Scripture. If the past is nothing, then why did God create us with the ability to remember? Why are we instructed, for example, to not let the sun go down on our wrath (Ephesians 4:26) if today isn’t going to effect tomorrow? But the past is everything view is equally troubling. The Scripture does not encourage us to view ourselves as helpless victims whose choices today are outside our ability to understand or change” (p. 18).

Viars then spends a complete chapter developing a “theology of the past.” With that foundation laid, the rest of Putting Your Past in Its Place is a practical theology of what the Bible teaches about how we deal with our past scripturally.

Suffering and Sin

The modern biblical counseling movement at times has emphasized the confrontation of sin, somewhat to the neglect of comfort for suffering. Viars addresses both by helping readers to organize their past into their innocent past (suffering) and their guilty past (sin). He then delineates between whether we handled our past well or poorly.

The rest of the book treks with readers through the four categories of:

• The “Innocent Past” (suffering) when you Responded Well: You were sinned against, but did not sin in return. Respond now with “Authentic Suffering.”

• The “Innocent Past” (suffering) when you Responded Poorly: You were sinned against, but your response displeased God. Respond now with “Humble Analysis.”

• The “Guilty Past” (sin) when you Responded Well: You blew it, but then acknowledged your failure and handled matters appropriately. Respond now with “Joyful Remembrance.”

• The “Guilty Past” (sin) when you Responded Poorly: You sinned and then took additional steps that displeased God further. Respond now with “Honest Self-Confrontation.”

Viars is anything but naïve. So immediately after introducing these four categories, he explains:

“It is okay if your ‘baloney detector’ is going off right about now. I am not suggesting that the Bible teaches these four categories in some sort of absolute and rigid fashion. Rather, these categories help us to clarify what happened and how we responded. That, in turn, helps us to know what biblical principles to apply” (p. 67).

Viars spends three chapters on “authentic suffering” and dealing with our innocent past. He emphasizes biblical principles of facing it honestly, biblically, hopefully, and missionally. He develops “humble analysis” and dealing with our guilty past in two chapters. Here he encourages readers to ponder six diagnostic questions to discern how to respond today to one’s guilty past.

The three chapters on “joyful remembrance” help readers to respond to their guilty past when they handled their sin biblically. Here Viars focuses on what to do when we do not feel forgiven and when we continually rehearse our failures. The two chapters on “honest self-confrontation” teach how to handle our guilty past when we responded unbiblically. Here Viars helps readers to address heart issues and patterns rather than focusing on symptoms, while also directing readers to their only hope—rejoicing in the forgiveness of our Redeemer.

Real-Life Narratives

At first glance, these four categories might imply something of a mechanical approach. Nothing could be further from the truth. Throughout Putting Your Past in Its Place, what shines through is Viars’ decades of experience as a pastor and biblical counselor working with real people with real issues. His creative illustrations, engaging stories, personal examples, weaving in of Jill’s story, real-life testimonials, and questions for personal reflection and group discussion all result in the most reader-friendly counseling book you’ll ever find.

Viars has devoted his life and ministry to helping others change—biblically. Putting Your Past in Its Place is the result of that lifelong ministry. Whether you’re struggling with the process of change related to past suffering or to past sin, this book provides the seasoned, compassionate, pastoral, hope-filled, biblical wisdom you need.

While I highly recommend Putting Your Past in Its Place for the person in the pew, I’m also convinced that it will be a theory-altering, practice-changing book for pastors and biblical counselors. Viars models the sufficiency of Scripture for everyday life like no one I have read. Pastors and counselors can learn from him not only how to help their parishioners and counselees to deal with the past, but even more, how to view and use the Scriptures to develop a theology and methodology for dealing with any life issue.

In an era when our resources seem at times to bounce between theology unrelated to life and self-help manuals not grounded in God’s truth, Putting Your Past in Its Place is a breath of fresh air. The “sufficiency of Scripture” has become something of a buzz word in biblical counseling—used at times without definition or real-life descriptions. By grounding his practical theology in a biblical theology of the past, Viars models a robust, relational, real-world approach to the sufficiency of Scripture. He shows that God’s Word is relevant to all of life, and offers uniquely profound insights for living.

Note: This review first appeared at the Gospel Coalition Book Review site. Read it there at Putting Your Past in Its Place.

“I’m Sorry. I Was Wrong. Please Forgive Me.”

I was recently the recipient of a humble, heart-felt apology where the person sincerely asked for forgiveness. How rare that is!

It made me think of various ways people “apologize” and how we might respond.

The “No Apology, Ever!” Person

Some people are like Fonzie from the old Happy Days TV series. Remember? He could never even mouth the words “I was wwww-r-o-n-g.”

Some folks are like that—they’re never in the wrong. You and others always are.

What is a biblical response in cases like this? What biblical principles of reconciliation do you follow with someone who is never willing to seek reconciliation? Are you and I ever guilty of this way of responding to our own sin?

The “If You Were Offended” Person

Then there’s the person who is a master at the apology that is not an apology at all. In fact, their apology really blames others.

“I’m sorry if you were offended by what I said.” Or, “I’m sorry if you were hurt by what you thought I did.”

The tenor, the tone, the words—they all communicate, “What I did wasn’t wrong. You’re just waaaay too sensitive.”

What is a biblical response in cases like this? What biblical principles of reconciliation do you follow with someone whose apology is really an accusation? Are you and I ever guilty of this way of responding to our own sin?

The “You Were Wrong and I Forgive You” Person

Somewhat the opposite of the previous “styles” is the person who brings up forgiveness only as a way of expressing alllll the ways you sinned against her or him. They use the words, “I forgive you.” However, the bulk of their words are about your wrong.

“I forgive you for the way you’ve always been so condescending and judgmental. I forgive you for the way you hurt me and offended me with your cruel and discouraging words. I forgive you for all the ways your self-centered, arrogant actions have hurt me and countless others…”

What is a biblical response in cases like this? What biblical principles of reconciliation do you follow with someone who seems less interested in reconciliation and more interested in humiliation? Are you and I ever guilty of this way of responding to our own sin?

The “I’m Sorry; I Apologize” Person

This “style” sure seems right about being wrong. The person says, “I’m sorry. I apologize.”

This is a great start. However, by itself it may not lead to true reconciliation. In this “style,” there are no specifics. There is no admission of wrong, guilt, or sin. And, there is no request for forgiveness—which is so central to moving toward reconciliation.

What is a biblical response in cases like this? What biblical principles of reconciliation do you follow with someone who apologizes but does not admit wrong or ask forgiveness? Are you and I ever guilty of this way of responding to our own sin?

The “I’m Sorry; I Was Wrong; Here Are My Excuses” Person

No one apologizes using these exact words. However, the sense is more of excusing behavior than accepting responsibility.

“I’m sorry. I was wrong. Everybody was jumping on me all day long. My parents were dysfunctional when I was growing up. I was having a bad day. The boss was a jerk. No one ever taught me how to relate or handle my emotions. I have this medical condition. Your words and actions were just too much for me or any normal person to handle. And…”

What is a biblical response in cases like this? What biblical principles of reconciliation do you follow with someone who blames others (including you) for their wrong? Are you and I ever guilty of this way of responding to our own sin?

The “I’m Sorry. I Was Wrong. Please Forgive Me” Person

This “style” is how I was recently approached. It’s the person who says, “I’m sorry. I was wrong for __________.” They fill in the blank with the specific way(s) they sinned against you. No excuses.

They continue. “I sinned. Would you please forgive me? How can I make this right? How can we reconcile and get our relationship right?” They move from admission to the offer of a conversation about reconciliation.

What is a biblical response in cases like this? What biblical principles of reconciliation do you follow with someone who is seeking biblical reconciliation? Are you and I ever this mature in responding to our own sin?

Join the Conversation

Which “style” of reconciling do you seem to most often receive? How do/should you respond?

Which “style” of reconciling do you seem to most often offer?

Michael Vick and Second Chances

A Sports Talk radio station in Chicago (670 The Score) polled its listeners today. They asked what has been the most compelling story in the young NFL season thus far. Over 67% of responders indicated that Michael Vick’s comeback for the Philadelphia Eagles was their top choice.

For those who have been off-planet or are not football fans, Michael Vick was an incredibly talented young quarterback whose career and life took a horrible turn. His conviction for involvement in the illegal and dreadful world of dogfighting led to an eighteen-month jail sentence. Now released, expressing remorse, and speaking to young people about the evils of his past ways, Vick’s has revived his career in Philadelphia.

Not everyone is happy, including Debbie Sanville who is a season-ticket holder who has refused to attend a game since Vick signed. She believes Vick only regrets getting caught and has no remorse for his dogfighting past (Are Eagles’ Fans Ready to Embrace Vick?).

Not Redemption, but a Second Chance

Listening to callers on The Score, I was not surprised to hear them use words like “redemption” and “resurrection” (“He’s experienced a redemption.” “Vick has resurrected his career.”) Of course, they are using theologically-loaded words with no theological intent. Our society does that frequently.

I have no clue where Vick is spiritually or whether he has found spiritual redemption through the new life that comes by faith in Christ and His death, burial, and resurrection. Nor would I dare, like Sanville did, to judge the thoughts and intents of Vick’s heart. That’s a role not for my spirit but for the Holy Spirit.

However, I was disappointed by some callers who determined that Vick never should have been allowed back in the NFL. Apparently for them, there is no such thing as a second chance, even after a person has been tried, punished, and done his time according to the justice system. I wonder if the callers believe that someone who has been convicted should be sentenced to a life without any future chance at employment.

None of this is meant to minimize the horrors of the dogfighting world. And, of course, some crimes should lead to some occupations being off-limits.

Role Models: You’re Kidding, Right?

The logic, if you could call it that, of some callers went like this. Professional athletes are role models, therefore, if they commit a crime, even if they do the time, they should never be allowed back on such an influential platform.

Please. Doctors are role models. Firefighters are role models. Nurses are role models. Teachers are role models. Pastors are role models. Mill workers are role models. Most importantly, parents, grandparents, aunts, and uncles are role models. But professional athletes like professional actors—they’ve proven long ago that though they are talented in their fields, they have not risen to the pinnacle of success because of their character.

Should they be role models? Could they be role models? Sure. But we ought to be teaching young people that character is what counts, not talent.

A Christian Approach: A Second Chance Because Of Redemption

As a follower of Christ, my ultimate prayer and longing for someone like Michael Vick is spiritual redemption—new life in Christ. Perhaps he has already experienced that; I do not know.

But also as a Christian, I would stand up for Michael Vick’s right to a second chance to use his talents in his career as a professional football player. Not simply on the basis of some humanitarian impulse, but on the foundation of theological principles such as forgiveness, grace, and yes, even “redemption.” While some may flippantly use this term, the spiritual ramifications of redemption ought to play out vocationally and relationally.

I forgive a brother when he sins against me on the basis of my having received forgiveness in Christ. I reconcile with a sister when we have had a dispute on the basis of having been reconciled to God through Christ. I give an employee a second chance because the father pursued the prodigal, Christ forgave the woman caught in adultery, and He gave the woman at the well a fifth chance (the man you are with now—your fifth man…).

Spiritual redemption in Christ should have practical implications relationally and vocationally. In fact, maybe we could view these comebacks, these second chances in life, as a small taste, a tiny glimpse of that ultimate spiritual redemption. Your act of grace toward me may be part of the Spirit’s work in bringing me to conviction and repentance.

Join the Conversation

Where do you stand? What is your attitude toward Michael Vick’s comeback?

It’s Wonderful to Be Forgiven

The Big Idea: Learn how to help others to receive the wonders of Christ’s forgiveness. (Excerpted from Spiritual Friends.)

Grace Dispensers

When a brother or sister repents of sinful patterns of the heart, we need to become dispensers of Christ’s grace who communicate “it’s wonderful to be forgiven.” Three categories summarize the types of gospel conversations that enlighten others to grasp the wonders of forgiveness:

• Calm the Conscience

• Assure the Conscience

• Comfort the Conscience

Calm the Conscience

Since little counsel can be received when the conscience is in intense turmoil, refuse to let sin overwhelm the conscience. The worst sin of all is denying grace. Therefore, the worst thing that you can do is to allow Satan to overwhelm others so they despair of grace in the midst of their sin. Sin can be forgiven, but believing that sin can’t be forgiven leaves people hopelessly despairing. Satan tempts us to deny Christ’s claims, claiming instead that our sin is greater than Christ’s forgiveness. To calm the conscience, help people to distinguish between law and gospel, as Martin Luther did:

It is the supreme art of the devil that he can make the law out of the gospel. If I can hold on to the distinction between law and gospel, I can say to him any and every time that he should kiss my backside. Even if I sinned, I would say, “Should I deny the gospel on this account?”

To counter Satan’s lies, engage in spiritual conversations: 

• Where were you recruited into the idea that God is angry with you and rejects you when you sin? Who modeled this idea for you? Does it seem to square with your understanding of the Bible? Of grace? Of Christ?

• In the Scriptures (Psalm 1, Psalm 32, Psalm 51, and Romans 8:1-39) and throughout Church history, Christians have meditated on images of God and Christ. What images could you meditate on to increase your conviction that God is gracious to you even when you fail him?

• Christ always loves you and accepts you. What mental pictures have you used to keep this truth in the forefront of your mind?

• What do you think a person should do when they feel overcome and overwhelmed by sin?

• What does the Bible suggest that you do when you feel overwhelmed by sin?

• What does your pastor suggest that you do when you feel overwhelmed by sin?

• What do your Christian friends suggest that you do when you feel overwhelmed by sin?

• What do you tell others to do when they are overwhelmed by sin and crushed by guilt?

Assure the Conscience

The spirit of bondage enslaves the fleshly conscience, causing it to feel that it’s still under the weight of the law and the condemnation of God who it views as a harsh Judge. The Spirit of sonship liberates the spiritual conscience, causing it to understand that it’s now under the freedom of grace and the forgiveness of God who it correctly views as a merciful heavenly Father. The Spirit of sonship frees the conscience from fear, releasing it to trust. Knowing these truths, spiritual friends benefit from spiritual conversations:

• Throughout the Scriptures (Romans 5:1-11; 8:1-39; Galatians 3:1-29; 5:1-26) God tells us that we have peace with him through Jesus Christ. When do you experience his peace to the greatest extent? What are you doing differently when you experience his peace?

• Tell me about your experience of God’s peace. What is it like for you?

• I’m wondering how peace with God motivates you to love God and others.

• The Bible assures us that we’re no longer under condemnation. The spirit of bondage to guilt has been defeated. We’ve been set free to experience the Spirit of sonship—forgiveness, acceptance, and liberty. How are you allowing the Spirit of sonship to reign in your heart? By faith, how can you accept your acceptance in Christ?

• According to the Scriptures, who are you in Christ? Who are you to Christ?

Comfort the Conscience

The Bible teaches that believers are priests (1 Peter 2:1-8) and that God commands Christians to confess their sins one to another (James 5). Throughout Church history, believers knew mutual confession as the mutual consolation of the brethren through private confession.

When we have laid bare our conscience to our brother and privately make known to him the evil that lurked within, we receive from our brother’s lips the word of comfort spoken by God himself. And if we accept this in faith, we find peace in the mercy of God speaking to us through our brother (Luther, Bondage of the Will, 1531/1947, p. 201).

You can help people to experience a comforted conscience through spiritual conversations like:

• Tell me about times when you’ve experienced God’s forgiveness. What was it like?

• What Scriptures have you turned to, to find Christ’s forgiveness? Grace? Love? Friendship?

• The Bible talks so much about God’s grace, forgiveness, and acceptance of us based on our faith in Christ’s death for our sins. When are you most aware of and impacted by these truths? What does God seem to do to bring you to these points of awareness? How do you tend to be cooperating with God as he brings you to these points of awareness?

• How are you allowing other Christians to help you to enjoy and appreciate God’s grace?

• Let’s talk about ways that you’re using the spiritual disciplines to appreciate God’s grace.

• What passages are you meditating on to help you to cling to Christ’s forgiveness?

• Who offers you human tastes of grace that somehow mirror God’s infinite grace?

Join the Conversation

Which sample spiritual conversation do you most need?

Our Forgiving Father Celebrates with Us

In Luke 15:22-32, the greatest artist who ever lived readies His brush to paint the final scene in the greatest story ever told. It’s the scene depicting our celebration with our forgiving Father. Ten times in this one chapter we discover words for celebration. Tony Campolo is right when he proclaims that “the Kingdom of God is a party!”

The father is beside himself with glee. There’s music and there’s dancing. Jesus paints His Father’s portrait in vivid, living colors. Splashes of joy here. Gallons of cheer over there. Broad brush strokes of rejoicing all over the canvas. The father even tells the older son that they had to celebrate and be glad. There are few things our sovereign God has to do, but celebration is one of them. Our forgiving Father will not contain His joy!

We’re stunned at the thought that God has a good time. This party in Luke 15 stuns both sons. The younger son, the Prodigal as we know him, is a lot like us. We mess up, and then we rehearse our imaginary dialogue in our minds—a dialogue of shame. The prodigal practices his speech all the way home. Like a mantra, he repeats it slowly, robotically. “I’ve sinned against you and I’m unworthy to be called your son. Make me like one of your hired servants.” Over and over again.

The hired servants occupied the lowest rung on the relational totem poll of the day. The son is saying, “I am not only not worthy to be your son, I’m not worthy to be your slave, or your servant even. I am only worthy of being your temporary hired servant.”

So ingrained is his unworthiness in his soul, that he gives his entire speech to his father! His father has raced out to him, is kissing him and celebrating over him, and this guy is still droning on with his speech. “I—–am—–not—–worthy . . .”

Notice how the father responds in verses 22-24 “Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found. So they began to celebrate.” The father is saying, “Let’s party hardy! The guest of honor at my party is my son, not my hired servant.” Our heavenly Father prepares a celebration reserved for His most special of guests: you and me whenever we return home.

The Big Question: “Who Do I Have to Forgive Me?”

Marghanita Laski, secular humanist and novelist, wrote just before her death in 1988, “What I envy most about you Christians is your forgiveness; I have nobody to forgive me.”

As you wait for the other shoe to drop, realize it already dropped on Christ. As you wait for the hammer to fall, realize it already fell on Christ. Whenever we return home, we have Somebody to forgive us.

We’re all prodigal sons and daughters—runaways—and yet we’re not disinherited, not disowned, never forsaken. Because of Christ’s life, death, and resurrection for our sin, we have peace with God. We’re God’s children. Our Father forgives us, loves us, wants us, celebrates with us!

Like a constant magnet, the forgiving heart of our Father draws us home—home to celebrate. Put your ear to the chest of Christ to hear the heartbeat of God—the heartbeat of our Forgiving Father.

Join the Conversation

Do you hear your Father’s “Welcome home!” Do you hear His voice of forgiveness? Are you returning home to receive His grace and love today? Everyday? Every moment?

Our Forgiving Father Embraces Us

In the Parable of the Prodigal Son in Luke 15:20, the father sees his younger son, is filled with compassion, runs to him, throws his arms around him, and kisses him repeatedly! This is not the biblical image of God that most committed Christians maintain. Somehow we have bought the lie that God is aloof, distant, uncaring, non-relational.

Personally, I bought that lie for years. In fact, I had been a Bible college graduate, a seminary graduate, and I was in my second pastoral ministry before I finally began to grasp God’s grace and love for me. I knew that God forgave me, but I pictured Him only like a Judge Who says, “You’re forgiven, now get out of My court room!” I thought God forgave me, but I didn’t realize that He really loved me, wanted me, liked me.

It took me years as a Christian finally to understand that God is not only my forgiving Judge; He’s also my forgiving Father. Slowly, little by little, I began to get it. So that now I see God as my Father Who says, “I forgive you because I love you. I love you so much that I gave My only Son to die for you. That’s how much I long for a relationship with you!”

And you? Do you believe that the God of the universe races to you impetuously, overjoyed and delighted to see you, falling down on your neck to embrace you, eagerly throwing Himself upon you, pressing His chest close to yours, and kissing you repeatedly? Do you get it that God is not only your forgiving Judge; He is also your forgiving Father Who loves you passionately, Who likes you, Who wants a relationship with you?

If we think of this theologically, Jesus is picturing not only justification, but also reconciliation. In justification, the Bible teaches us that God the just Judge forgives us our sins because He has placed on sins on Christ and He has placed Christ’s righteousness on us. That’s the amazing grace of justification. But there’s more to the biblical story of our salvation. That “more” includes reconciliation. The just Judge takes off His Judge’s robes and puts on His fatherly attire. We move from the courtroom to the living room. The Judge Who forgives us is also our Father Who loves us, Who invites us into His home, into intimate relationship with Himself.

Throughout this parable, Jesus is saying, “Look, look at the Father! Look at Him for the first time all over again. This is why I died. This is why I rose again. The Father longed to build a bridge over which He would run to you and throw His arms around you, embracing you, encompassing you, engulfing you with His forgiving love!”

Join the Conversation

Have you bought the lie, also? Is your image of God biblical or sub-biblical?