Three Dozen Quotes of Note on God’s Healing for Life’s Losses 

Note: The following quotes are from God’s Healing for Life’s Losses: How to Find Hope When You’re Hurting. They are used with permission of BMH Books. The book is officially endorsed by GriefShare.

These are my personal favorites from the book—quotes that most impact my life. Feel free to use them in your life and ministry.

Quotes of Note for Finding Hope When You’re Hurting

“When tragedy strikes, we enter a crisis of faith. We either move toward God or away from God.”

“There is no human experience which cannot be put on the anvil of a lively relationship with God and man, and battered into a meaningful shape.”

“Christianity doesn’t in any way lessen suffering. It enables you to take it, to face it, to work through it, and eventually convert it.”

“God’s Word empowers us not to evade suffering, but to face suffering face-to-face with God.”

“In suffering, God is not getting back at you; He is getting you back to Himself.”

“Shared sorrow is endurable sorrow.”

“No grieving; no healing. Know grieving; know healing.”

“We live in a fallen world and it often falls on us.”

“The world is a mess and it messes with our minds.”

“Spiritual friendship with God results in 20/20 spiritual vision from God.”

“To deny or diminish suffering is to arrogantly refuse to be humbled. It is to reject dependence upon God.”

“Crying out to God empties us so there is more room in us for God.”

“Faith does not demand the removal of suffering; faith desires endurance in suffering.”

“Faith understands that what can’t be cured, can be endured.”

“Comfort experiences the presence of God in the presence of suffering—a presence that empowers me to survive scars and plants the seed of hope that I will yet thrive.”

“In this life, your scar may not go away, but neither will His. He understands. He cares. He’s there.”

“Spiritual emergencies can produce spiritual emergence.”

“Faith looks back to the past recalling God’s mighty works. Hope looks ahead remembering God’s coming reward.”

“In Christ, loss is never final. Christ’s resurrection is the first-fruit of every resurrection.”

“When we wait on God, we cling to God’s rope of hope, even when we can’t see it.”

“Hope waits. Hope is the refusal to demand heaven now.”

“Waiting is refusing to take over while refusing to give up. Waiting refuses self-rescue.”

“In Christ, we move from victims to victors.”

“God is a ‘time God.’ He does not come before time. He does not come after time. He comes at just the right time.”

“Faith is entrusting myself to God’s larger purposes, good plans, and eternal perspective.”

“Faith is seeing life with spiritual eyes instead of eyeballs only.”

“Through faith, I look at suffering, not with rose colored glasses, but with faith eyes, with Cross-eyes, with 20/20 spiritual vision.”

“Instead of our perspective shrinking, suffering is the exact time when we must listen most closely, when we must lean over to hear the whisper of God.”

“True, God shouts to us in our pain, but His answers, as with Elijah, often come to us in whispered still small voices amid the thunders of the world.”

“God’s eternal, heavenly story doesn’t obliterate my earthly, painful story; it gives it meaning.”

“Grace math teaches us that present suffering plus God’s character equals future glory. The equation we use is the Divine perspective.”

“Worship is wanting God more than wanting relief.”

“Worship is finding God even when you don’t find answers.”

“Worship is walking with God in the dark and having Him as the light of your soul.”

“Every problem is an opportunity to know God better, and our primary battle is to know God well.”

“Problems can either shove us far from God or drag us kicking and screaming closer to Him.”

Join the Conversation

Which quotes are your personal favorites? Which ones most impact you? What other quotes bring you Christ’s comfort during times of suffering?

The Biblical Counseling Coalition Reviews God’s Healing for Life’s Losses 

I was honored when Brad Hambrick decided to review God’s Healing for Life’s Losses for the Biblical Counseling Coalition’s review site. To read the review at the BCC visit BCC Book Review of God’s Healing for Life’s Losses.

If you’ve like to order a copy at 35% off, or, if you’d like to order ten copies at 40% off (just $9.99) visit the RPM Ministries Store. To  read a free chapter online and learn more about the book, visit the RPM God’s Healing site. And to watch the video trailer visit the God’s Healing Book Trailer.

Book Details

• Author: Bob Kellemen

• Publisher: BMH Books (2010) (116 Pages)

• Category: Biblical Counseling, Grief, Suffering

• ISBN: 978-0-88469-270-6

• Retail Price: $14.99

• Reviewed By: Brad Hambrick

A Biblical Guide for Grieving with Hope

Grief is an experience that one out of every one person will face. Actually, it is worse than that. We all experience grief multiple times throughout our lives. Unfortunately, the more people we love the more times we will experience significant grief.

In the midst of the pain we often ask ourselves, “To love or not to love (if we have a Shakespearian bent)?” “Is it really worth it to love if it means having to hurt like this (if we talk normal)?” Either way, we are tempted to consider not loving as the better option. In our moments of pain and confusion it just feels safer.

Dr. Bob Kellemen has written an excellent book to guide us biblically and relationally through this difficult (and often repetitive) season of life. The quality of the book is such that it warrants an endorsement from GriefShare, an organization devoted to developing Christ-centered grief support groups. They have included Dr. Kellemen on their panel of experts for interviews shown in thousands of grief recovery groups across the world every week.

There are three aspects of the book that I would like to highlight. Each makes God’s Healing for Life’s Losses an excellent resource for every pastor’s, counselor’s, and friend’s library; and an excellent guide for the person seeking to find God’s hope in the midst of their grief and loss.

Formatted for Grief: A Gift-Book Format

First, the book is purposefully user-friendly, focused, and short (only 116 pages total). In the midst of grief, concentration is difficult and processing anything is hard. A grieving person could pick up this book and not feel intimidated. That is important.

There are more ways to display an understanding of one’s audience than cleverly articulating penetrating insight. Dr. Kellemen reveals his compassionate heart for grieving people by writing a book that is accessible to people in the midst of their pain.

In and Out of Grief: Your Journey with Christ

Second, this book offers biblical markers for the journey through grief rooted in a well-developed theology of suffering. While aware of Kubler-Ross’s stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance), Dr. Kellemen does not operate within this paradigm.

Instead, he offers eight “stages” (referred to as “markers on our journey with God”) rather than five (see bullets below). These are not merely three additional hoops to jump through. Whereas Kubler-Ross’s material has one final “positive” or hope giving stage—acceptance—after four heart-breaking stages, Dr. Kellemen traces the journey up out of grief in as much detail as he traces the journey down into the emotional struggle.

In each case, Dr. Kellemen walks with readers in their movement from the world’s typical “stage” to God’s pathway for growth in and through grief:

• From Denial to Candor: Blessed Are Those Who Mourn

• From Anger to Complaint: A Lament for Your Loss

• From Bargaining to Crying Out to God: I Surrender All

• From Depression to Comfort: God Comes

• From Regrouping to Waiting: When God Says “Not Yet”

• From Deadening to Wailing: Pregnant with Hope

• From Despairing to Weaving: Spiritual Mathematics

• From Digging Cisterns to Worshipping: Finding God

Taking Grief by the Hand: Grieving with Hope

Third, the book is very personal. Not “in your business” personal, but “walking with you” personal. It contains the story of Dr. Kellemen’s own experiences with grief and the testimony of many others—including scores of biblical characters and dozens of modern-day examples. More than this, Dr. Kellemen invites you into the book with guided reflection (suitable both for individual use and/or group interaction) embedded into the book.

If you take the time to reflect and record your thoughts as you read, you will have more than practical, biblical information when you finish the book. You will have a travelogue of your journey though grief that can serve as a precious memento and an encouraging refuge during those times when the pain of grief returns (holiday, birthdays, and other special occasions).

Biblical, Personal, and Healing: Refreshing Honesty

In reflecting on the overall impact of the book, I would echo the words of Garrett Higbee (President of Twelve Stones Ministries and Executive Director of Harvest Biblical Soul Care).

“God’s Healing for Life’s Losses takes on traditional thoughts about grief and loss and turns them upside down. There is refreshing honesty about the pain of loss and the permission to be real with God and others as we embrace the mourning process together. This book is biblical, personal, and healing. I highly recommend it.”

Quotes of Note on Suffering and Comfort

Note: I’ve taken the following quotes of note from God’s Healing for Life’s Losses: How to Find Hope When You’re Hurting. These are my personal favorites that most impact my own life. Feel free to use them in your life and ministry.

“When tragedy strikes, we enter a crisis of faith. We either move toward God or away from God.”

“There is no human experience which cannot be put on the anvil of a lively relationship with God and man, and battered into a meaningful shape.”

“Christianity doesn’t in any way lessen suffering. It enables you to take it, to face it, to work through it, and eventually convert it.”

“God’s Word empowers us not to evade suffering, but to face suffering face-to-face with God.”

“In suffering, God is not getting back at you; He is getting you back to Himself.”

“Shared sorrow is endurable sorrow.”

“No grieving; no healing. Know grieving; know healing.”

“We live in a fallen world and it often falls on us.”

“The world is a mess and it messes with our minds.”

“Spiritual friendship with God results in 20/20 spiritual vision from God.”

“To deny or diminish suffering is to arrogantly refuse to be humbled. It is to reject dependence upon God.”

“Crying out to God empties us so there is more room in us for God.”

“Faith does not demand the removal of suffering; faith desires endurance in suffering.”

“Faith understands that what can’t be cured, can be endured.”

“Comfort experiences the presence of God in the presence of suffering—a presence that empowers me to survive scars and plants the seed of hope that I will yet thrive.”

“In this life, your scar may not go away, but neither will His. He understands. He cares. He’s there.”

“Spiritual emergencies can produce spiritual emergence.”

“Faith looks back to the past recalling God’s mighty works. Hope looks ahead remembering God’s coming reward.”

“In Christ, loss is never final. Christ’s resurrection is the first-fruit of every resurrection.”

“When we wait on God, we cling to God’s rope of hope, even when we can’t see it.”

“Hope waits. Hope is the refusal to demand heaven now.”

“Waiting is refusing to take over while refusing to give up. Waiting refuses self-rescue.”

“In Christ, we move from victims to victors.”

“God is a ‘time God.’ He does not come before time. He does not come after time. He comes at just the right time.”

“Faith is entrusting myself to God’s larger purposes, good plans, and eternal perspective.”

“Faith is seeing life with spiritual eyes instead of eyeballs only.”

“Through faith, I look at suffering, not with rose colored glasses, but with faith eyes, with Cross-eyes, with 20/20 spiritual vision.”

“Instead of our perspective shrinking, suffering is the exact time when we must listen most closely, when we must lean over to hear the whisper of God.”

“True, God shouts to us in our pain, but His answers, as with Elijah, often come to us in whispered still small voices amid the thunders of the world.”

“God’s eternal, heavenly story doesn’t obliterate my earthly, painful story; it gives it meaning.”

“Grace math teaches us that present suffering plus God’s character equals future glory. The equation we use is the Divine perspective.”

“Worship is wanting God more than wanting relief.”

“Worship is finding God even when you don’t find answers.”

“Worship is walking with God in the dark and having Him as the light of your soul.”

“Every problem is an opportunity to know God better, and our primary battle is to know God well.”

“Problems can either shove us far from God or drag us kicking and screaming closer to Him.”

Join the Conversation

Which quotes are your personal favorites? Which ones most impact you? What other quotes bring you comfort and encouragement during times of suffering?

God’s Healing for Life’s Losses Video Book Trailer 

When life’s losses invade your world, learn how to face suffering face-to-face with God with God’s Healing for Life’s Losses: How to Find Hope When You’re Hurting.

Learn more about God’s Healing for Life’s Losses as you enjoy the video book trailer where I share about:

• Who should read God’s Healing for Life’s Losses—Hint: anyone who has ever suffered any loss.

• How God’s Healing for Life’s Losses is a very personal book for me

• The main message of the book

• How the book addresses all types of losses in life

Watch the video on our RPM Ministries YouTube Channel.

Visit our God’s Healing for Life’s Losses page to read a free sample chapter and learn how you can order an autographed copy of God’s Healing at 35% off.

GriefShare Surviving the Holidays

Wake Forest, NC (PRWEB) November 13, 2010

People who’ve experienced the death of a loved one often face Thanksgiving and Christmas with dread. But grieving people can find actionable strategies and encouragement to make it through the 2010 holiday season at GriefShare’s Surviving the Holidays one-time seminars across the nation.

The Surviving the Holidays seminars, held at hundreds of locations, begin with a video presentation featuring advice from respected counselors and teachers on how to survive the holiday season, and featuring real-life stories of people who’ve experienced the challenges of the holiday season while grieving a death. “Hearing whom other people lost and how they managed to get through gave me hope,” said a holiday seminar attendee. Another found comfort in knowing “that what I’m experiencing is okay.”

The video presentation offers practical suggestions on how to handle hard-hitting emotions during the holiday season, what to do about family traditions, how to scale back on activities and holiday preparations, and where to find the strength to go on. “I learned that it’s okay not to carry on every tradition, and it’s okay to cut back on invitations,” shared a seminar attendee.

After the video is a facilitated small group discussion time where attendees discuss concepts learned on the video and share their specific concerns. A participant in Charlotte, NC, found encouragement in learning “that ‘moving forward’ is different from ‘moving on.’”

Each seminar attendee receives a Survival Guide containing over 30 days of short, devotional readings that target specific concerns faced by grieving people. The guides also include helpful charts and articles to help attendees create a holiday plan and learn how to have a more manageable, healthy approach to the busy season.

At the GriefShare Surviving the Holidays website, people in grief can enter their zip code into a searchable database to find a nearby holiday seminar: http://www.griefshare.org/holidays.

The website also contains downloadable holiday-centric articles and helpful video clips featuring expert teaching and personal testimonies on holiday survival after grief.

About GriefShare

GriefShare, Wake Forest, NC, is a network of over 7,000 locations equipped to offer grief recovery support groups. A searchable database of groups is found at http://www.griefshare.org.

Healing for the Holidays: Part Three—Q and A About Holiday Honesty

Note: This is the third in a series of posts on Healing for the Holidays. Read Part One: A Promise. Read Part Two: Give Sorrow Words.

I appreciate friendships that are secure enough for “push-back.” Someone who lovingly says, “Bob, I get what you’re saying, but what about…?” Today, I want to give voice to four possible “push-backs” on Part Two: Give Sorrow Words. Consider these as Q/A about just how honest should we be around the holidays.

Push-Back # 1: “But Doesn’t Everyone Handle Grief Differently?”

Absolutely. Everyone handles grief differently. There’s no one typical response to grief, and there’s no one universally “correct” path toward healing for the holidays. Healing is a journey—a personal journey with God and we all take unique twists and turns on our journey.

Your timing will be different from mine. Your way will be different from your relatives. We can’t force anyone else, or even ourselves, onto a certain timetable or a one-size-fits-all plan.

That said, good research and caring engagement with people consistently shows that “denial” is a very common initial response to grief. And initially, it can even be a grace of God that allows our minds and bodies to slow down long enough to survive the horrors of our loss.

Push-Back to the Push-Back: Faith Faces All of Life Honestly

Good biblical study reveals a clear pattern (not a universal command)—faith faces all of life honestly. That’s what candor is—a faithful facing of life courageously and honestly. On your journey of healing for the holidays, at least be aware that being honest with yourself (candor) is one signpost on your journey that you’ll want to zig and zag toward.

Push-Back #2: “But Not Everyone Is a Talker!”

It’s absolutely true that God uniquely designed everyone one of us—we are each fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). Our different personalities, different backgrounds, different upbringings, different settings, different choices, and different loses all combine to make us unique.

So no one should ever feel, “I need to talk about this X amount.” Or, “I need to talk about this like Suzy does.” Nope.

Push-Back to the Push-Back: Everyone Needs Relationship

Good biblical study reveals that God designed us to relate to Himself, to others, and to ourselves. We need relationship. In a sense, you could picture denial as a refusal to relate honestly to your own self.

Notice something about the passage we probed yesterday (Psalm 42:3-5). David starts by talking to himself! “Why are you downcast, O my soul?”

Candor doesn’t mean you have to blurt out your deepest, darkest secrets to every stranger who walks down the street. It does mean that you would be wise to start by talking to yourself.

Allow yourself to feel what you feel. Then put words to your feeling. That’s candor.

Like David, many people (not all) find that capturing their thoughts on paper can be very helpful. We might call it “journaling.” I like to call it “psalming.” Write your own psalm of candor about your holiday hurt.

Of course, in your uniqueness, maybe you’re not a writer. So what song conveys the feelings of your heart? Or what picture, image, or artwork conveys the ache in your soul? What movie scene captures your pain?

Push-Back # 3: “But People Are Clueless How to Relate to Me!”

Yep. Many times this is so true. And it’s one of the reasons we’re hesitant to be candid with others about our hurting during the holidays. Many people don’t know what to do after the hug.

And, there’s the biblical principle of not casting your pearls before swine. So, some people are so obtuse, so lacking in empathy, that it just may be unwise to share much, if anything, with them.

Push-Back to the Push-Back: Find at Least One Faithful Friend

Good biblical study reveals that God designed the Body of Christ to comfort one another (2 Corinthians 1:3-9). Pray that God will give you at least one faithful friend who knows what to do after the hug. In your timing, slowly open up to your spiritual friend about your emotional pain. Others find that a recovery or support group of people with a similar loss is an excellent place to start the candor journey.

Push-Back # 4: “But I Don’t Want to Be a Downer Who Ruins the Holidays for Others.”

That can be a very other-centered thought. It also could be a cop-out, but let’s assume it is rightly motivated.

Push-Back to the Push-Back: Christ-like Relating to Others

First, it’s a God-thing that you can be so thoughtful about others in the midst of your holiday hurt. That’s amazing!

Second, we’ve already said that candor is more about talking to yourself and at least one other godly, caring person. So candor doesn’t require you to interrupt the Thanksgiving meal to share your deepest hurt.

Third, in the long run, your candor now will bring healing hope for future holidays. Remember, No grieving; no healing. Know grieving; know healing.

The Rest of the Story

Healing for the holidays starts with candid honesty with ourselves, but it doesn’t stop there. I noted that God created us to relate to ourselves, to others, and to Him. Holiday healing also requires honesty with God—what the Bible calls lament—the focus of our next post. 

Join the Conversation

Which of the push-backs were running through your mind? How can you apply the push-back to the push-back?

Help for Your Healing Journey

For additional help on your healing journey, learn more about God’s Healing for Life’s Losses: How to Find Hope When You’re Hurting. Also, visit GriefShare for information on their small group video series Surviving the Holidays.