Five to Live By

Linking you to the top 5 Christian blog posts of the week—posts that provide robust, rich, and relevant insights for living.

How to Lead an Unbeliever’s Funeral 

In a guest post at the Gospel Coalition, Pastor Jared C. Wilson provides a very robust and relational answer to a very practical question: How Do I Lead an Unbeliever’s Funeral? 

The Biblical Counseling Movement After Adams

Also at the Gospel Coalition, they have posted my review of Heath Lambert’s book The Biblical Counseling Movement After Adams. 

Biographies Are Good for the Soul 

Over at Kevin DeYoung’s blog, guest blogger Jason Helopoulos reminds us that Biographies Are Good for the Soul.

Chronic Pain: Living by Faith When Your Body Hurts 

Pastor Mark Kelly begins a blog mini-series reviewing and sharing what he’s learned from the CCEF book Chronic Pain: Living by Faith When Your Body Hurts. 

How to Evaluate a Counseling Model

Phil Monroe is in the midst of a blog min-series on How to Evaluate a Counseling Model. The idea behind the series is great and I now plan to address the same question. You’ll be able to compare/contrast Phil’s answers to mine.

Join the Conversation 

Which post impacted you the most? Why? What blog posts have you enjoyed this week that you want to share with others?

RPM Ministries: Equipping You to Change Lives with Christ’s Changeless Truth

LeBron James and Celebrity Pastors

In 2011 there was a lot of talk in the Christian blogosphere about “celebrity pastors” and “mega-star ministry leaders.” I’ve blogged a bit about servant leadership here, here, here, here, here, and here. 

I hadn’t thought about it much lately until I read a recent piece in Sports Illustrated by photographer Walter Iooss, Jr. He tells some great war stories about famous athletes.

Of particular note was his story of doing a photo shoot with LeBron James. 

“I first photographed LeBron James in 2003, when he was a rookie in Cleveland. He was pretty raw as a teenager; he didn’t have any of the smoothed edges he has now. When I shot him six years later, in 2009, the difference was amazing. He walked in like a king that day, and he took over that room.”

 “Times change, and sadly, LeBron became a villain to many after The Decision. I’ve seen a lot of entourages, but none like his. In July 2010, I got an assignment from Nike to shoot LeBron right after his TV special announcing his move to the Heat. We rented the Los Angeles Memorial Sports Arena, where the Lakers and the Clippers used to play, and there were 53 people on my crew — including hair and makeup artists, production people, a stylist. I had $10,000 in Hollywood lighting. It was huge. When LeBron arrived, it was as if Nelson Mandela had come in. Six or seven blacked-out Escalades pulled up, a convoy. LeBron had bodyguards and his masseuse. His deejay was already there, blasting. This for a photo shoot that was going to last an hour, tops.”

“This is how crazy it was: I wasn’t even allowed to talk directly to LeBron. There was a liaison, someone from Amar’e Stoudemire’s family. I would say to him, ‘O.K., have LeBron drive right,’ and then he’d turn to LeBron and say, ‘LeBron, go right.’”

“LeBron had guards in the portals on the mezzanine level, talking into their hands. Really, what was going to happen? And then at the end of the shoot they all got in the Escalades. I’ve been around Michael Jordan, but with him nothing even came close to this. Unimaginable.”

My Wish for Christian Servant-Leadership in 2012

My wish for Christian leaders in 2012 is simple:

Let’s strive to be more like King Jesus than King James (LeBron James).

The human ego is such that if you feed it too much, it grows to monstrous proportions.

I vividly recall the time when I introduced my mentor to a somewhat well-known Sr. Pastor. The Sr. Pastor took over the introduction and described himself to my mentor as, “I’m somewhat of a ‘Swin-Carthur.’ People tell me that my preaching combines the best of Swindoll’s creativity and application to life with MacArthur’s exegetical and theological depth.”

That smacks more of LeBron than Jesus.

But there’s a lot of “King James Christian Celebrity” going around these days.

The entourages.

The slick packaging.

The personal assistants.

I don’t mean an administrative assistant. I don’t mean just one personal assistant. I mean multiple personal assistants.

Really? Seriously?

I know. If you try hard enough, you can conjure up reasons why it needs to be. Here’s the problem. You can’t conjure up a single verse that shows Jesus with any personal assistant. Instead, Jesus was the servant-leader who washed the feet of His twelve disciples.

Instead 

“Instead” is a good word. Rather than a snarky blog post that takes easy swipes at the “celebrity pastor” target, here are a few random “instead” thoughts for servant-leadership in 2012.

• Instead of King James-like arrogance, in Christian ministry in 2012 (blogging, writing, speaking, personal conversation), let’s talk more about Jesus and others than about ourselves.

• Instead of King James-like arrogance, in Christian ministry in 2012, let’s serve the people who work alongside of us rather than demanding that we be catered to.

• Instead of King James-like arrogance, in Christian ministry in 2012, lets invite constructive feedback rather than demanding positive strokes.

• Instead of King James-like arrogance, in Christian ministry in 2012, let’s respond humbly to criticism rather than reacting defensively.

• Instead of King James-like arrogance, in Christian ministry in 2012, let’s treat others as equals—valuing their time as much as ours, their gifts as important as ours, and their ministries as significant as ours.

• Instead of King James-like arrogance, in Christian ministry in 2012, let’s be more concerned about serving others than about how deferential people are to us.

• Instead of King James-like arrogance, in Christian ministry in 2012, let’s be more concerned about living for an audience of One, than about how slick we come across.

• Instead of King James-like arrogance, in Christian ministry in 2012, let’s be less concerned about how bright our mega-star brand is shining, and more concerned about being salt and light for the Light of the World.

• Instead of King James-like arrogance, in Christian ministry in 2012, let’s be less concerned about advancing our agenda and building our kingdom, and more concerned about finding and following God’s will and being a team-player in Christ’s Kingdom plans.

• Instead of King-James-like arrogance, in Christian ministry in 2012, let’s live Philippians 2:1-5 because we serve the servant-King Jesus of Philippians 2:5-11. 

Join the Conversation

What additional ways would you finish this sentence:

Instead of King James-like arrogance, in Christian ministry in 2012, let’s…

Brad Hambrick Reviews Equipping Counselors for Your Church

Do you want to see your church develop a biblical counseling ministry, but don’t know where to begin? Do you feel like you don’t know what questions you would need to ask or who would need to be in the room as you seek to answer them? Are you worried about the logistics and liabilities that would arise as you sought to launch this kind of ministry initiative?

A Book You Need to Read

If you answered yes to any of these questions, then Dr. Kellemen has put together a book you need to read. Not only does he draw upon his own years of experience as a pastor (both associate of counseling and senior pastor) and as a professor teaching counseling in seminary, he draws upon the best practices from two dozen counselors who have led counseling ministries in the local church or parachurch setting.

Throughout Equipping Counselors for Your Church these two dozen counselors comment about their experience in creating counseling ministries at each stage of the process. In effect, it’s a little like a recovery group meeting. Dr. Kellemen teaches the main lesson which articulates the key aspects of one leg in the journey. Then each counselor gives a testimony about their successes, failures, and key life lessons on that point.

The result is a robust resource that provides detailed guidance without succumbing to a one-size-fits-all counseling model. Rather than giving a step-by-step process to a predetermined outcome, Dr. Kellemen takes you through a question-by-question process to determine what expressions of a counseling ministry would best fit your church and community.

A Small Word, But a Big Distinction

One of the primary emphases of this book is that it advocates for churches to become “a church of biblical counseling” rather than “a church with a biblical counseling ministry.” The difference is significant. A church with a biblical counseling ministry will see its counseling ministry serve exclusively as an “ER” of crisis cases that remained hidden until they were bursting with complexity.

A church of biblical counseling becomes more equipped and prepared to handle such crisis cases, but the counseling ministry interacts with the rest of the church (as a part of the disciple-making process) so that more individuals and families receive care before their struggles become life-dominating. The honesty and transparency of a counseling relationship begins to trickle into the life of the church to a degree that members are “doing life together” in Christian community.

The 4 E’s

If I were reading this review, I would want to know what the 4 E’s were. In keeping with the power-packed, highly-concentrated nature of the book, Dr. Kellemen was able to squeeze five E’s into his four E strategy: (1) Envisioning God’s Ministry, (2) Enlisting God’s Ministers for Ministry, (3) Equipping Godly Ministers for Ministry, and (4) Empowering/Employing Godly Ministers for Ministry.

If you look at those categories and find yourself thinking, “That seems like a process that could be used for any ministry,” then you are beginning to catch the value of this book. Dr. Kellemen is not spending a large amount of time teaching you a foreign process to develop a counseling ministry. If that were the case, you would have to teach your congregation the process and then begin creating the counseling ministry. However, because the book is built around sound, biblical leadership methods, a church that has launched other effective ministries will have no problem utilizing this resource.

What you will find in each E are the key questions and implications that need to be asked for developing a counseling ministry. For the pastor, elder, or other local church leader this should be very comforting. You will find guidance for what you don’t know within the framework with which you are familiar.

A Sample

Counseling can be intimidating. If you are not slightly over-whelmed at the thought of starting a counseling ministry, you may lack the humility necessary to be a good counselor. With that in mind, one of the most effective ways I can conclude this review is to give you a sample from the book on one of counseling’s most intimidating subjects—legal liability.

On his ministry blog, Dr. Kellemen recently posted a six part series on “The Law and Church Counseling.” If you want to know the quality and type of resource you would be getting in Equipping Counselors for Your Church, I would encourage you to preview these posts.

• The Law and Church Counseling: Part One – Caring Carefully

• The Law and Church Counseling: Part Two – The Legal History and Climate

• The Law and Church Counseling: Part Three – Scope of Care

• The Law and Church Counseling: Part Four – Quality of Care

• The Law and Church Counseling: Part Five – Building Safeguards Into Your Ministry

• The Law and Church Counseling: Part Six – Counting the Cost

Other sample resources include:

• The book video trailer as a blog post.

• The book video trailer on YouTube.

• Link to a free sample chapter.

• Link to Equipping Counselors home page with several free resources. 

Meeting a Real Need in Biblical Counseling

This book meets a real need in Biblical Counseling – helping churches cultivate a counseling ministry that is tailored to the needs of their particular congregation and community. Over the last several decades Biblical Counseling has produced a large number of excellent resources, but it has not always been clear what a church was supposed to do with those resources. If you want to begin to explore that possibility with your church, I cannot think of a better book to guide you in that process.

Note: This post originally appeared at Brad Hambrick’s ministry website. You can also read it there at Equipping Counselors for Your Church. 

Brad Hambrick, Th.M., Brad is Pastor of Counseling at The Summit Church (Durham, NC) (www.summitrdu.com). Brad also serves as a Council Board member with the Biblical Counseling Coalition and Chief Editor for The Journal of Counseling & Discipleship with the Association of Biblical Counselors. Brad has been married to his wife Sallie since 1999 and has two wonderful boys.

Why I Prefer “Local Ministry” Over the “Speaking Circuit” 

Recently Tim Challies posted his personal reflections on The Speaking Circuit. Tim is a good friend and co-worker in the ministry. His blog is one of the most read Christian blogs in the world. I read him every day.

In his post, he expressed that for him leaving pastoral ministry to go on the speaking circuit might involve selfish motivations. I want to summarize his perspective. Then I will share my perspective of the “speaking circuit” compared to “local ministry.”

Tim’s Perspective 

The gist of Tim’s post highlights a common theme: a pastor gains popularity and then leaves the local church behind and leaves pastoral ministry for the speaking circuit. “I can understand why and how people could give up leading the local church in favor of the speaking circuit.”

Tim goes on to say:

“Of course I cannot judge any other man’s motives. Unless a man chooses to reveal his reasons, I do not know why he decides to leave the pastorate to pursue writing or speaking or a combination of the two. However, though I cannot judge another person’s motives, I know that to some extent I can judge my own. And if I were to leave the pastorate to be a speaker and author, I think I know why I would do so.

It would come down to my heart. There is something about the speaking circuit that calls. There is something about it that offers something better (or something that tries to insist that it’s better). The speaking circuit offers a kind of affirmation, a kind of ease, that does not and cannot exist in the local church.

So I don’t know why another man would give up pastoring the local church to move on to other interests. But if I were to do so, at least right now, I think this would be it—the desire for all the benefits of the speaking circuit without the long, hard kind of love and commitment that comes with pastoring a local church. But if I did so, I know I’d be leaving behind the best thing of all.”

In those comments and the rest of Tim’s post, I might summarize Tim’s argument as follows:

1. Going on the speaking circuit could mean leaving the local church.

2. Going on the speaking circuit could be motivated by a desire for affirmation, admiration, admirers, applause, praise, etc.

3. Going on the speaking circuit could be motivated by ease.

4. Going on the speaking circuit could be motivated by money (honorarium).

5. Going on the speaking circuit could be motivated by the comfort of a nice hotel and nice restaurants.

My Perspective

Like Tim, I can’t evaluate anyone else’s motives for why they sense a call to one type of ministry over another. So all I can do is share my own story.

I did not shift my ministry focus from the pastoral ministry for the speaking circuit, but rather I shifted to the ministry of equipping and pastoring pastors as a seminary professor. So this is a bit of an apples to oranges comparison. At the same time, through RPM Ministries, I am involved in some speaking at conferences and seminars. So I can at least ponder what pastoral ministry and seminary ministry are like compared to “the speaking circuit.” For me, the comparison is really between “ongoing local ministry with people I know and who know me” and “the speaking circuit of broader ministry to ‘strangers.’”

1. When most people I know (actually, everyone I know) shifted from the pastoral ministry, they did not leave the local church. They remained very active in local church ministry, just not as a pastor. That has been true in my own case. Fifteen years ago I sensed God’s call to move from pastoral ministry to seminary ministry. My family and I have always remained active in our local church in numerous ministries. So it remains a both/and: outside ministry and local church ministry, rather than being an either/or.

2. I do not enjoy the speaking circuit. I “add” it to my ministry involvement because I sense a call from God to take what I’ve learned as a pastor and seminary professor and share it with those who otherwise might not have the benefit of the “content” that I share. In other words, for me, I go “kicking and screaming” into the speaking circuit.

3. I do not enjoy being away from home, being in a hotel (nice or otherwise—and I’ve experienced each!), eating in restaurants. For me, there is no glamor in that, no “siren call.” Give me my wife, my home, my neighborhood, my familiar settings, a home-cooked meal (whether cooked by me or by Shirley or both) any day.

4. I don’t find the speaking circuit to be a life of ease. I do not like airports. I don’t like traveling (other than on vacation with my family). I don’t like wondering if the PowerPoint is going to work or any of the other million details that have to be worked out in an unfamiliar setting. Local church ministry and seminary ministry are certainly not “easy.” They involve doing real life with real people who really know you and who you really know well—not easy, but wonderful.

5. I much prefer speaking to a congregation of friends (or a seminary classroom of students I know) than I do speaking to an “audience of strangers.” Frankly, I’m always a tad “on edge” and “nervous” before speaking on the speaking circuit. Not so in the church or seminary. There I am 100% at east and comfortable. I am among friends. More importantly, I know them, they know me, and the art of communicating truth and applying it to life is ten times easier because of our ongoing relationship. Speaking to “strangers,” on the other hand, makes ministry, for me, ten times more difficult. I find it much more difficult to apply truth to life when I don’t know the daily lives of the people to whom I am called to speak. I thrive on speaking to friends—congregation members and students I know well personally and who know me well personally. They know whether I’m making stuff up or really living it out by Christ’s grace. We connect. We laugh. We cry. We relate truth to life because we know each other’s lives.

6. I don’t like the “one shot” aspect of the speaking circuit. Given the nature of the time you have, you typically have a “packaged message” and you have a very limited amount of time to communicate your “content.” But in church and seminary ministry, you follow up week after week. And, each lesson, especially in a classroom, or Sunday school class, or small group, you get to interact back and forth. It is not a monologue, but a dialogue. I love that. I love the relaxed nature of ongoing teaching with friends. I do not enjoy the forced nature of one shot teaching with strangers.

7. Let’s be honest, we all appreciate being appreciated. However, I’d take the quiet ongoing “appreciation” of a congregation or of a classroom of students over the applause of an audience of strangers. I remember the first time I spoke at our church after we moved to Indiana. I had never made a big deal (or any deal) about having been a pastor or seminary professor. When I was done speaking, a member of our congregation said, “Bob, you’re good at this. Have you ever thought about speaking more often?” I got a kick out of that. Frankly, I like being “just one of the gang.” I don’t need or desire the applause of being “the special speaker.” It just doesn’t do much for me.

There’s much more I could say, but suffice it to say that the only reason I ever “go on the speaking circuit” is because I sense a call from God to do it. I much prefer local church ministry and seminary ministry. The speaking circuit, at least for me, is not enticing or glamorous. Ministering on an ongoing basis with and to friends in the church and seminary, while not “easy” and not “glamorous” is a wonderful, amazing calling.

Join the Conversation

If you were to go on the “speaking circuit,” what would motivate you? Which do you prefer, the speaking circuit or “local” ministry? Why?

Quotes of Note: Mobilizing Ministers 

The following “Quotes of Note” are from Chapter Six of Equipping Counselors for Your Church. This chapter focuses on relational enlisting. For quotes from Chapter One, read God’s Grand Vision for His Church. For quotes from Chapter Two, read Knowing and Loving Those We Serve and Equip. For quotes from Chapters Three and Four read Christ’s Compelling Calling. For quotes from Chapter Five read My First Priority in Ministry. 

• Enlisting is about mobilizing ministers: nurturing a family and building a team.

• The first responsibility of pastors, teachers, and church leaders is to create a synchronized passion for speaking and living God’s truth in love.

• Communicate to your people that one-another ministry is just as vital as preaching from the pulpit.

• Structure your church so that doing life together and speaking the truth in love is church.

• Jesus always called people to Himself—to be with Him to become like Him.

• Learn Christ’s transformational, relational process: come and see Me, come and follow Me, come and be with Me, come and remain in Me, come and be like Me.

• Connect (enlist) people to your purpose (envision).

• Nothing is more intimidating to me as an equipper than the realization that my first responsibility is to be like Christ.

• We birth a family and build a team not by asking, “How can we recruit more volunteers?” Our question is, “How can we connect committed people with our disciple-making vision?”

• God not only sovereignly gifts His people; He sovereignly calls and directs His people into specific fields of service.

• Without a daring confidence in the Lord of the harvest, it is impossible to match the right people to the right ministry.

Join the Conversation

Which quote about mobilizing ministers resonate with you the most? Why?

Quotes of Note: My First Priority in Ministry

The following “Quotes of Note” are from Chapter Five of Equipping Counselors for Your Church. This chapter focuses on relational change management and biblical conflict resolution. For quotes from Chapter One, read God’s Grand Vision for His Church. For quotes from Chapter Two, read Knowing and Loving Those We Serve and Equip. For quotes from Chapters Three and Four read Christ’s Compelling Calling. 

• Biblical counselors don’t say, “Physician, heal thyself.” Instead, we say, “Soul physician, go to the Soul Physician for healing before counseling others.”

• Before you prepare a change management plan, prepare people. Before you prepare people, prepare your own heart.

• Transformation starts with hearts: changed leaders leading changed people who change churches who change communities.

• Launching a biblical counseling ministry isn’t a task to accomplish. It is a relationship—with God and others—to nourish and enjoy.

• The end goal of biblical counseling is worship—entrusting ourselves to, exalting, and enjoying God (Matthew 22:34-40).

• The end goal of the process of launching a biblical counseling ministry should be to shepherd Christians to a deeper worship of Christ.

• The book of Nehemiah is not about organizational leadership; it is about shepherding people whose transformed lives lead to a transformed community.

• Change is like a ship that we simultaneously sail and refit.

• Relational change management is a continuing conversation, not a lecture. Commit to dialogue rather than monologue.

• Relational change management asks, “How much change can our people appropriately digest? How much change can our people realistically implement?”

• We should not expect people to change because we said so, but because God says so.

• In the Redwood National Park there is a hollowed out tree that you can drive through. Since you don’t do that every day, there’s a sign before the entrance to the tree that says, “Others Have. So Can You.”

• Rather than going toe-to-toe with ungodly critics, Nehemiah encouraged God’s people to minister shoulder-to-shoulder (Nehemiah 2:11-20).

• Nehemiah had sufficient inner resources to stand alone if need be. In the tenacious discharge of his responsibilities, he was prepared to have no one but God. His energy was not dictated by other’s apathy.

• When someone pushes us, our inclination is to push back. When someone gets in our face, we’re tempted to get in their face. Nehemiah chose to get face-to-face with God (Nehemiah 4:4).

• When life stinks, our perspective shrinks. When our perspective shrinks, we need a full dose of eternal perspective, of God perspective. We need to remember Who God is, who we are in Christ, Who it is that is calling us, and what He is calling us to do.

• Great leaders respond to the potential death and destruction of a dream with life and creativity.

• You can define the greatness of leaders by what it takes to discourage them and by how they encourage everyone around them.

• Paul demonstrates that when conflict occurs, my first ministry, even before I launch any other ministry, is to love others with Christ-like love.

Join the Conversation 

Which quote about relational change management and biblical conflict resolution resonate with you the most? Why?