Under the Power of Melting Grief: Margaret and Richard Baxter

Note: Today’s post is from Sacred Friendships. By celebrating the legacy of women heroes of the faith, we learn how to speak Gospel truth in love. 

A Puritan Love Story

Most of what we know of Margaret Baxter, we glean from her husband’s memorial to her, written one month after her death. Baxter published it as A Breviate of the Life of Margaret, The Daughter of Francis Charlton, and Wife of Richard Baxter. Later, John T. Wilkinson reprinted it with the beautiful title Richard Baxter and Margaret Charlton: A Puritan Love Story.

Baxter prefaces his memorializing with the candid admission that it was, “. . . written, I confess, under the power of melting grief.”

Knowing the likely criticism for such openness, Baxter continues, “. . . and therefore perhaps with the less prudent judgment; but not with the less, but the more truth; for passionate weakness poureth out all, which greater prudence may conceal.”

According to Baxter, Christians, of all people, should be the most honest about pain. In our grieving, we should not conceal the truth of tears this side of heaven.

In Depths of Grief

It was not simply the shock and nearness of Margaret’s death that left her husband so frank. Years later in his autobiography, Baxter expresses how his wife’s death left him “in depth of grief.” Interestingly, the original editor of Baxter’s autobiography suppressed this phrase. Fortunately, truer historians have uncovered it—for the benefit of all who dare speak the truth about sorrow.

Richard Baxter understood the truth that it’s normal to hurt—even for “full-time Christian workers.” His entire biography of dear Margaret is a tear-stained tribute to the affection they shared and the sadness he endured.

Mingled Hurt and Hope

Of course, Baxter also understood the truth that it’s possible to hope—for all Christians. Listen to his mingled hurt and hope.

“She is gone after many of my choice friends, who within this one year are gone to Christ, and I am following even at the door. Had I been to enjoy them only here, it would have been but a short comfort, mixed with the many troubles which all our failings and sins, and some degree of unsuitableness between the nearest and dearest, cause. But I am going after them to that blessed society where life, light, and love, and therefore, harmony, concord, and joy, are perfect and everlasting.”

Perhaps one reason why we practice denial is our fear that entering our grief might so consume us that we will be overwhelmed with worldly sorrow. Baxter’s Christian experience reminds us that this doesn’t have to be the case. We can look fallen life squarely in the eyes, admit the truth that it is a quagmire of pain and problems, and still live hopefully now if we also look toward life in our heavenly world to come.

In the last paragraph of his tribute to Margaret, Baxter succinctly combines these two realities. “Therefore in our greatest straits and sufferings, let us comfort one another with these words: That we shall for ever be with the Lord.”

Shakespeare’s Romeo said, “He jests at scars, that never felt a wound.” Baxter might have added, “He fears facing scars who never embraces the truth that by Christ’s wounds we are healed.”

Join the Conversation

Like Richard Baxter, are you courageous enough and do you trust Christ enough to grieve greatly?

Sacred Friendships Video Book Trailer 

Sacred Friendships: Celebrating the Legacy of Women Heroes of the Faith narrates the amazing stories of the lives and ministries of over fifty women in church history.

Learn more about Sacred Friendships as you enjoy the video book trailer where I share about:

• Co-authoring Sacred Friendships with Susan Ellis

• Why we need to learn about and from women in church history

• Who is the target audience for Sacred Friendships (Hint—women and men!)

• My favorite story from Sacred Friendships

Watch the video on our RPM Ministries YouTube Channel.

Visit our Sacred Friendships page to read a free sample chapter and learn how you can order an autographed copy of Sacred Friendships at 40% off.

Women of the Reformation, Katherine Zell—Speaking Truth to Power

More Faith Stories: Read Part 1 Don’t Bury Your Talent. To learn life lessons from 52 women heroes of the faith, read Sacred Friendships, which is the source for today’s blog post.

Katherine Zell (1497-1562) defended her right to minister in Christ’s name, though doing so in a spirit of humility. Speaking of her relationship to her husband, she describes herself as “a splinter from the rib of that blessed man Matthew Zell.”

Matthew Zell was a celibate Catholic priest turned married Lutheran pastor. Marrying Katherine Schult, he found a life partner with courage and conviction. As she portrays herself:

“Ever since I was ten years old I have been a student and sort of church mother, much given to attending sermons. I have loved and frequented the company of learned men, and I conversed much with them, not about dancing, masquerades, and worldly pleasures but about the kingdom of God.”

Protestant leaders concurred with her self-assessment. Church historian Philip Schaff noted that the well-known Reformers of her day who frequented her home said that she “conversed with them on theology so intelligently that they ranked her above many doctors.” The admiration and the ministry were mutual. “I honored, cherished and sheltered many great, learned men, with care, work and expense. . . . I listened to their conversations and preaching, I read their books and their letters and they were glad to receive mine.”

To her ministry in her home, Katherine added a public ministry—often in defense of her husband and their ministry. When Matthew was excommunicated for marrying her, opponents of the Reformation circulated the tale that she had caught him with their maid and that, when she protested, he had thrashed her. She published a refutation, saying:

“I have never had a maid. . . . And as for thrashing me, my husband and I have never had an unpleasant 15 minutes. We could have no greater honor than to die rejected of men and from two crosses to speak to each other words of comfort.”

Katherine exemplifies a rare and worthy-to-be-followed balance of confronting enemies while comforting loved ones.

In the same tract, she not only refutes this particular slander, but provides a vigorous defense of her ministry.

“You remind me that the Apostle Paul told women to be silent in the church. I would remind you of the word of this same apostle that in Christ there is no longer male nor female and of the prophecy of Joel: ‘I will pour my spirit upon all flesh and your sons and your daughters will prophesy.’ I do not pretend to be John the Baptist rebuking the Pharisees. I do not claim to be Nathan upbraiding David. I aspire only to be Balaam’s ass, castigating his master.”

Thus with wit and wisdom she offers shrewd biblical confrontation based upon the doctrine of the priesthood of all believers—male and female.

At her husband’s funeral, Katherine assures her listeners that she did not seek to become “Doctor Katrina” as rumor had it. “I am not usurping the office of preacher or apostle. I am like the dear Mary Magdalene, who with no thought of being an apostle, came to tell the disciples that she had encountered the risen Lord.”

It’s Normal to Hurt

Such courageous boldness might mistakenly cause us to think that Katherine was above suffering and grieving. However, the ceaseless criticism along with her overwhelming grief after Matthew’s death exposed her human neediness. Friends arranged for her to stay in the home of a pastor in Switzerland, and the renowned Reformer Martin Bucer sent a letter of introduction.

“The widow of our Zell, a godly and saintly woman, comes to you that perchance she may find some solace for her grief. She is human. How does the heavenly Father humble those endowed with great gifts!”

Even in her ongoing grief, Katherine ministers to others. In less than a year she was back in the parsonage in Strasbourg. To one of the displaced Protestant leaders she wrote, “I have been allowed to keep the parsonage which belongs to the parish. I take any one who comes. It is always full.”

Yet she was able to candidly admit that she still struggled. In a letter to two Protestant Reformers, whom she helped to hide from authorities, she apologizes for what she perceived as a lack of hospitality. “I wish I could have done better for you but my Matthew has taken all my gaiety with him.”

Out of Katherine’s grief, she was able to comfort other grieving wives, offering them both sustaining empathy and healing encouragement. At Kensingen in Breisgau, the minister was forced to leave by those enforcing the Edict of Worms against Luther and his followers. They evicted one-hundred-fifty men of the parish along with the pastor. One man was executed. The rest fled to Strasbourg where Katherine housed eighty in the parsonage and fed sixty for three weeks, while finding shelter and provisions for the rest.

Katherine pens a letter of scriptural exploration to the wives left behind.

“To my fellow sisters in Christ, day and night I pray God that he may increase your faith that you forget not his invincible Word. ‘My thoughts are not your thoughts, saith the Lord’ (Isa. 55:8). ‘Whom I make alive I kill’ (Deut. 32:39). The Lord would wean you from the world that you may rely only on him. Has he not told us that we must ‘forsake father and mother, wife and child’? (Luke 14:26). ‘He who denies me him will I deny in the presence of my father,’ (Matt. 10:33). ‘Those who would reign with me must also suffer with me’ (2 Tim. 2:12).”

Katherine continues with healing words of spiritual conversation.

“Had I been chosen to suffer as you women I would account myself happier than all the magistrates of Strasbourg at the fair with their necklaces and golden chains. Remember the word of the Lord in the prophet Isaiah (54:8) ‘In overflowing love I will have compassion on you.’ ‘Can a woman forget her suckling child? Even these may forget, but I will not forget you’ (Isa. 49:15). Are not these golden words? Faith is not faith which is not tried. ‘Blessed are those that mourn.’ Pray, then, for those who persecute you that you ‘may be perfect as your Father in heaven is perfect’ (Matt. 5:4, 44, 48).”

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What can you learn from Katherine Zell about afflicting the comfortable and confronting the afflicted?

Women of the Reformation, Part 1: Argula von Grumbach—Don’t Bury Your Talent

Note: To learn life lessons from 52 women heroes of the faith, read Sacred Friendships, which is the source for today’s blog post.

Argula von Grumbach: Don’t Bury Your Talent

Argula von Grumbach was a Bavarian noblewoman who lived from 1490-1564. In the early 1520s, she became a serious student of the Bible and Lutheran doctrine. In 1523, the University of Ingolstadt tried a student, Arcasius Seehofer, for his Lutheran sympathies and extracted a humiliating recantation from him. Von Grumbach took up pen on his behalf, arguing with university and secular officials in a series of letters in which she insisted that the Bible was on his side and that she would prove it.

In her letters, Argula proclaims the importance of Scripture and her right to determine faith and practice thereby.

“I beseech you for the sake of God, and exhort you by God’s judgment and righteousness, to tell me in writing which of the articles written by Martin or Melanchthon you consider heretical. In German not a single one seems heretical to me.” She continues by quoting Luke 7, 1 Corinthians 9, Psalm 36, John 2, 8, 9, 10, 14, 16, Matthew 24, and Isaiah 40 highlighting the Word of God and illumination.

Argula then defends her source of authority and commitment to it.

“I have always wanted to find out the truth. Although of late I have not been reading any [information published by the Reformers], for I have been occupied with the Bible, to which all of Luther’s work is directed anyway. . . Ah, but what a joy it is when the spirit of God teaches us and gives us understanding, flitting from one text to the next—God be praised—so that I came to see the true, genuine light shining out. I don’t intend to bury my talent, if the Lord gives me grace.”

Taking God’s Word Seriously

Argula was tempted and confronted to bury her talent. Her husband was fired because of her and he mistreated her as a result. Her family reviled her, others wrote against her. In a letter to her cousin, Adam von Torring, she explains:

“I hear you have heard that my husband has locked me up. Not that, but he does much to persecute Christ in me. At this point I cannot obey him. We are bound to forsake father, mother, brother, sister, child, body, and life. I am distressed that our princes take the Word of God no more seriously than a cow does a game of chess.”

Bury her talent she did not!

Responding to rebuke for not remaining silent, she retorts:

“I am not unacquainted with the word of Paul that women should be silent in the church (1 Tim. 1:2) but, when no man will or can speak, I am driven by the word of the Lord when he said, ‘He who confesses me on earth, him will I confess and he who denies me, him will I deny,’ (Matt. 10, Luke 9), and I take comfort in the words of the prophet Isaiah (3:12), ‘I will send you children to be your princes and women to be your rulers.’”

And speak she did.

“When I heard what you had done to Arsacius Seehofer under terror of imprisonment and the stake, my heart trembled and my bones quaked. What have Luther and Melanchthon taught save the Word of God? You have condemned them. You have not refuted them. Where do you read in the Bible that Christ, the apostles, and the prophets imprisoned, banished, burned, or murdered anyone?”

As was typical of the women of the Reformation, Argula based her confidence upon Christ and His grace, not upon herself. “I do not flinch from appearing before you, from listening to you, from discussing with you. For by the grace of God I, too, can ask questions, hear answers and read in German.”

Here we detect Argula boldly applying to her life as a woman the Lutheran doctrine of the priesthood of all believers.

Martin Luther’s Testimony

Of her, Martin Luther reported to Spalatin, “I am sending you the letters of Argula von Grumbach, Christ’s disciple, that you may see how the angels rejoice over a single daughter of Adam, converted and made into a daughter of God.”

To another friend, Luther wrote of Argula:

“The Duke of Bavaria rages above measure, killing, crushing and persecuting the gospel with all his might. That most noble woman, Argula von Stauffer, is there making a valiant fight with great spirit, boldness of speech and knowledge of Christ. She deserves that all pray for Christ’s victory in her . . . . She alone, among these monsters, carries on with firm faith, though, she admits, not without inner trembling. She is a singular instrument of Christ. I commend her to you, that Christ through this infirm vessel may confound the mighty and those who glory in their strength.”

In Christ Alone

Since her confidence was neither in herself nor in Luther, but in Christ, Argula adds these final words.

“And even if it came to pass—which God forbid—that Luther were to revoke his views, that would not worry me. I do not build on his, mine, or any person’s understanding, but on the true rock, Christ himself, which the builders have rejected.”

Argula von Grumbach offers all women, and men, the biblical reminder that we base our ministry upon Jesus, the ultimate Soul Physician and Spiritual Friend.

The Rest of the Story

Return for Part 2 to learn from Katherine Zell how to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.

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Why have we silenced the voices of the women of the Reformation?

Women’s History Month

From Victim to Victor: Vibia Perpetua, Part 2 

Introduction: I’ve developed the following blog post from the book I co-authored with Susan Ellis: Sacred Friendships: Celebrating the Legacy of Women Heroes of the Faith. This book shares the amazing narratives of over fifty godly Christian women. Read a free sample chapter here.

Read Part I of Perpetua’s story.

Summoning Christ’s Strength

Perpetua not only finds in Christ the strength to empathize with her father (see Part 1), she also summons Christ’s power to console and encourage her family and her fellow martyrs.

“In my anxiety for the infant I spoke to my mother about him, tried to console my brother and asked that they care for my son. I suffered intensely because I sensed their agony on my account. These were the trials I had to endure for many days.”

Incredibly, Perpetua’s greatest pain was her ache for others who hurt for her!

A few days passed after the hearing and before the battle in the arena commenced. During this interval, Perpetua witnessed to her persecutors and ministered to other detainees.

“Pudens, the official in charge of the prison (the official who had gradually come to admire us for our persistence), admitted many prisoners to our cell so that we might mutually encourage each other.”

Facing death, Perpetua shared words of life with all who would listen.

The Road to Hope: Maintaining Perpetual Persistence

Felicitas (Perpetua’s friend and fellow prisoner) was in her eighth month of pregnancy. As the day of the contest approached, she became very distressed that her martyrdom might be delayed, since the law forbade the execution of a pregnant woman. An eyewitness to their eventual death shares his account of their journey together.

“Her friends in martyrdom were equally sad at the thought of abandoning such a good friend to travel alone on the same road to hope. And so, two days before the contest, united in grief they prayed to the Lord.”

Immediately after their prayers, her labor pains began and Felicitas gave birth to a girl whom one of her sisters reared as her own.

This eyewitness records their witness for Christ to the very end.

“On the day before the public games, as they were eating the last meal commonly called the free meal, they tried as much as possible to make it instead an agape. In the same spirit they were exhorting the people, warning them to remember the judgment of God, asking them to be witnesses of the prisoners’ joy in suffering, and ridiculing the curiosity of the crowd. . . . Then they all left the prison amazed, and many of them began to believe.”

To the very end, Perpetua maintains her perpetual persistence.

“The day of their victory dawned, and with joyful countenances they marched from the prison to the arena as though on their way to heaven. If there was any trembling, it was from joy, not fear. Perpetua followed with a quick step as a true spouse of Christ, the darling of God, her brightly flashing eyes quelling the gaze of the crowd.”

To them she was nothing but entertainment. To Christ she was His bride.

Stubbornly Resisting to the End

As they were led through the gates, they were ordered to put on different clothes; the men, those of the priests of Saturn, the women, those of the priestesses of Ceres.

“But that noble woman stubbornly resisted even to the end. She said, ‘We’ve come this far voluntarily in order to protect our rights, and we’ve pledged our lives not to recapitulate on any such matter as this. We made this agreement with you.’ Injustice bowed to justice and the guard conceded that they could enter the arena in their ordinary dress. Perpetua was singing victory psalms as if already crushing the head of the Egyptian.”

Here we witness not only Perpetua’s courageous example of persistence, but also her model of biblical confrontation. She provides riveting testimony to Christ’s power at work in the inner life of a Christian woman whose spirit could never be overpowered.

Join the Conversation

What lessons can you learn and apply to your life from this two-part series on Perpetua’s perpetual trust in Christ?

Women’s History Month

From Victim to Victor: Vibia Perpetua, Part 1

Introduction: I’ve developed the following blog post from the book I co-authored with Susan Ellis: Sacred Friendships: Celebrating the Legacy of Women Heroes of the Faith. This book shares the amazing narratives of over fifty godly Christian women. Read a free sample chapter here.

Giving Voice to the Voiceless

When we think of the early church, our minds focus on the Church Fathers. Sadly, we normally fail even to consider the Church Mothers. Yet, these godly women heroically waged spiritual warfare against the world, the flesh, and the devil. Their loses and their victories, their pain and their joy, their walk with Christ and their journey with one another are all an inheritance from which each of us are eligible to draw. There is a mighty company of gallant women believers from whom we can learn.

Vibia Perpetua (181-203) heads that company. The early Church preserved her manuscript, The Martyrdom of Perpetua, because it is one of the oldest and most descriptive accounts of death for Christ. It is also the earliest known document written by a Christian woman.

Anyone who has ever suffered for the faith or has been oppressed by the powerful can carry on a conversation and feel a bond with Perpetua. In fact, in the introduction to her story, we read that it was “written expressly for God’s honor and man’s encouragement” to testify to the grace of God and to edify God’s grace-bought people.

Of course, even reading the word “martyr” likely causes us to imagine that Perpetua was a spiritual “super woman” whose life and ministry we could not possibly emulate. The story of her life, however, demonstrates just the opposite.

The Story of Her Life

Perpetua lived in Carthage in North Africa during the persecution of Christians under Septimius Severus. At the time of her arrest in 202 AD, she was a twenty-one-year-old mother of an infant son. Born into a wealthy, prominent, but unbelieving family, she was a recent convert with a father who continually attempted to weaken her faith and a husband who was, for reasons unknown to us, out of the picture. Nothing in Perpetua’s situation or background prepared her for the titanic spiritual struggle God called her to face.

Perpetua, her brother, her servant (Felicitas), and two other new converts were discipled by Saturus. We learn from Perpetua of the arrest of all these faithful followers of Christ.

“At this time we were baptized and the Spirit instructed me not to request anything from the baptismal waters except endurance of physical suffering. A few days later we were imprisoned.”

A Light in the Darkness: Experiencing the Pain of Others

Perpetua candidly faces her fears and expresses her suffering.

“I was terrified because never before had I experienced such darkness. What a terrible day! Because of crowded conditions and rough treatment by the soldiers the heat was unbearable. My condition was aggravated by my anxiety for my baby.”

This very human woman exudes superhuman strength. In the midst of her agony, she empathizes with and consoles others. Her father, completely exhausted from his anxiety, came from the city to beg Perpetua to recant and offer sacrifice to the emperor.

“I was very upset because of my father’s condition. He was the only member of my family who would find no reason for joy in my suffering. I tried to comfort him saying, ‘Whatever God wants at this tribunal will happen, for remember that our power comes not from ourselves but from God.’ But utterly dejected, my father left me.”

“As If” Empathy

On the day of Perpetua’s final hearing before being martyred for her faith in 203 AD, the guards rushed Perpetua to the prisoners’ platform. Her father appeared with her infant son, guilting her and imploring her to “have pity on your son!” He caused such an uproar, that Governor Hilarion ordered him thrown out, and he was beaten with a rod.

Perpetua writes of this horrible incident.

“My father’s injury hurt me as much as if I myself had been beaten. And I grieved because of his pathetic old age.”

Perpetua provides a classic portrait of biblical empathy. Her as if experience of her father’s pain is the essence of sustaining soul care—making the agony of others our very own.

The Rest of the Story

Return for Part 2 of Perpetua’s story to learn of her perpetual faith in Christ.

Join the Conversation

Why do you think that so much of church history focuses on “dead white males” and minimizes or ignores the contribution of so many godly women?