A Lament
How in the world do we respond to the horrific tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut? There are no easy answers, only difficult truths.
Blessed Are Those Who Mourn: Telling Yourself the Truth
God invites His children to be brutally honest about life’s losses. Job does so in response to his loss of his children.
What I feared has come upon me; what I dreaded has happened to me. I have no peace, no quietness; I have no rest, but only turmoil (Job 3:25-26).
Listen to David’s expression of his mourning in Psalm 42:3-5.
My tears have been my food day and night, while men say to me all day long, “Where is your God?” These things I remember as I pour out my soul: how I used to go with the multitude, leading the procession to the house of God, with shouts of joy and thanksgiving among the festive throng. Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me?
The Apostle Paul does not tell us not to grieve; he tells us not to grieve without hope (1 Thessalonians 4:13). He chooses a Greek word for grieving that means to feel sorrow, distress, and anguish, and to experience pain, heaviness, and inner affliction.
Paul is teaching that grief is the grace of recovery because mourning slows us down to face life.
No grieving; no healing. Know grieving; know healing.
Biblical Lament: Telling God the Truth
Numerically, there are more Psalms of lament than Psalms of praise and thanksgiving. Lament is vulnerable frankness about life to God in which I express my pain and confusion over how a good God allows evil and suffering.
Lament trusts God enough to bring everything about us to Him. In lament we hide nothing from God because we trust His good heart and because we know He knows our hearts.
God prizes lament.
According to Psalm 62:8, if we truly trust God, then we’ll share everything with God. “Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.”
The biblical genre of lament expresses frankness about the reality of life that seems inconsistent with the character of God. Lament is an act of truth-telling faith, not unfaith. Lament is a rehearsal of the bad allowed by the Good.
When we lament, we live in the real world honestly, refusing to ignore what is occurring. Lament is our expression of our radical trust in God’s reliability in the midst of real life in a fallen world.
Pausing for Reflection
Are you mourning by telling yourself the truth with candor?
Are you lamenting by telling God the truth with frankness?
RPM Ministries: Equipping You to Change Lives with Christ’s Changeless Truth
For more on biblical grieving: God’s Healing for Life’s Losses: How to Find Hope When You’re Hurting
Thank you for this article. My 23 yr old daughter has Asperger’s Syndrome (AS) and was already deeply affected by this tragedy, and now she is very upset with reports that the shooter may have had AS. We talked a long time, and it is her faith that will get her thru this. She now understands that IF the shooter had AS, that his diagnosis was not what caused this horrific tragedy. I am so thankful that we have raised such a spiritual young lady, and she has God to turn to in these difficult times. Many many tears from her (and me), and now lots of prayers for those affected. God Bless the little children….
how is the church body supposed to respond to the grief.
can you write an article about that.
it is frightening at times to experience the pain alone in the physical.
i know spiritually i am not alone
but what is the use of having relatioships if no one wants to be there with you and for you in your grief.
this is lacking in the church body.
when my friends husband shot himself leaving her a widow with a child, what am i going to tell this woman cry out to god. of course this is part of our relaitoship with god, but what about our relationship with people. we cannot turn away from them, our god does not turn away from us, but that is what happens in church. any books you can recommend or articles… comments. no one wants to walk with you in your sorrow or grief, no one wants to grieve with you. church people don’t want to do that. that is not right. that is not a reflection of god when christians behave this way. telling a woman who expeienced this to be strong, is outrageous insensitive and something god would never say to me, why do christians say these things. it is ridicuouls and not christlike…
this behavior hurts worse than the trauma… any comments.
janet
Janet, I’m so sorry that your friend, and it sounds like you, have experienced the Body of Christ not wanting to join their brothers and sisters in their pain and grief. We are called to weep with those who weep and to suffer with those who suffer. The Bible calls us to one-another ministry of comforting each other with the comfort of Christ. Many churches are working to encourage and equip their people for this compassionate care through small group training/ministry, and through training in one-another ministry (biblical counseling, spiritual friendship, soul care). My books God’s Healing for Life’s Losses, Soul Physicians, Spiritual Friends, and Equipping Counselors for Your Church all seek to equip us for the type of care that you and your friend longed for and missed receiving. Many others are writing on these issues also. I would encourage you to visit http://www.biblicalcounselingcoalition.org for 100s of resources from scores of leaders who are equipping God’s people to care for one another. I am praying for you and your friend. Bob